#jalapedo

I just corrected my mom in cleaning I've just out-momed my mom. Does... does this mean I'm the new mom?

So when I was younger, I took jazz dance lessons with this woman named Sri, and whenever we danced to Robie Williams's "Love Supreme" I thought the chorus said "that love Sri" and I was like, damn, that's really cool that she got him to put her in a song

My mom was trying to find the phone app on my smartphone and she said, "Where's the ringy stuff?"

Some things you confess to your family ten years after they happen. Some things you tell strangers on the Internet as you're sobbing through your troubles.

Why does Christmas feel different this year? OH, right, it's because I'm a Muslim who doesn't celebrate it

For real, was anyone subject tithe cruel and unusual torture that was The Tootie-Ta in elementary school?

Let's be real here, there is nothing more stressful than a guest using your bathroom