Ceillings
Jake Gray x female reader
one shot
smut, teen romance, first time, fluffy
words count : 6,5
A/N: I’m French and it was really long and hard to translate it. Hope it will still be good. Enjoy as much as I enjoyed writing it.
story : You always have been his best friend. But what he didn’t know it’s that even you really love to be his best friend, you always wanted more. You were so damn in love with him that it was painful. Especially when Dakota was hitting on him like that. But whatever, you can handle it, right ?
———————————————————————
“Do you think he likes me?”
I wasn’t really thinking. I listened to Dakota as she stood in front of the mirror, putting on her makeup. I was lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling, trying to empty my mind.
I already knew who she was talking about. Besides, I knew exactly who we were going to see at that party and who had gotten into the habit of treating her like more than just a friend. I could never have said whether I thought he liked her or not. I supposed he probably did, but honestly, I never would have known how to define whatever it was between her and Jake. I knew they had already slept together. Well, she had been his first time. One night, after a few too many drinks, Jake had told me, and I had forced a smile, pretending I was happy for him. Truthfully, I would have rather never known, but whatever.
Anyway, that still didn’t mean Dakota seemed capable of putting a name to whatever relationship they had, and even less so Jake himself.
That was just how Jake was.
It always had been.
He was my best friend. He had always been my best friend. He was the one who had taught me how to ride a bike, but also the one I had gotten drunk with for the very first time. I knew him well enough to say he was a good person. He was kind, he always checked in on people, and he took care of the ones he loved with quiet attention.
Being clear, however, was never one of his qualities.
Not even close.
And I understood why Dakota kept wondering. She tried to hide how much it affected her. I was even sure she hid it incredibly well whenever she was around Jake and all the other boys who toyed with her. She wasn’t mean. She was just desperate to find someone who would love her. Every single time, it was the same story. She met a guy, she liked him, she slept with him thinking it would make him stay, and in the end he always made it clear it wasn’t going to be anything more.
That was exactly what had happened with Jake.
Much to my dismay.
Dakota was new, and we’d become really close friends. I had never thought it was necessary to tell her that Jake, besides being my best friend, was also the boy I had always been in love with.
So she saw him, she wanted him, and she had him.
And I watched it all happen in silence, without complaining even once.
What could I have done anyway?
I was the complete opposite of Dakota. I was nowhere near the kind of girl a lot of boys liked, nowhere near confident enough to approach them, and even less confident enough to believe anything serious—or even something meaningless—could ever happen.
Because I could have told myself I didn’t care and that I just wanted to have fun since we were only in high school. I could have found myself a cute boyfriend to keep me distracted. I could have.
But when every time a boy comes anywhere near you, all you can think is that he’ll never be your best friend, it’s hopeless.
So I mourned it.
I mourned ever having a boyfriend.
I mourned Jake.
And I forced myself to listen to Dakota and try to answer her without sounding fake.
“I don’t know. You know, Jake doesn’t really talk to me about that stuff.” I kept staring at the ceiling as though I’d find some way to put an end to this misery. Or at least some way to spare myself from having to witness it.
I was already crossing my fingers that if Jake finally decided to make things serious with Dakota, he wouldn’t do it in front of me.
“You’re his best friend. He tells you everything. He must’ve talked to you about me.”
I shrugged as if she could see me. She didn’t notice because she was too focused on putting on her mascara.
“He told me he liked you, but that’s all.”
I was telling the truth.
Jake didn’t talk to me about that stuff. He talked to me about his parents. About his life in general. About the things he liked.
But he never talked to me about girls.
And it wasn’t like I had any stories about guys to tell him either.
I’d only mentioned Dakota once, and all he’d said was, “She’s nice, don’t you think?”
Of course I thought she was nice.
I just wanted to know if he thought she was nice the way you think your math teacher is nice, or the way you think a girl you can’t stop looking at is nice.
But I never had the nerve to ask Jake.
So neither of us would ever have the answer.
“I think he likes you. He’s just an idiot.” I said it a little reluctantly.
Not because I was lying to her. More because I dreamed of being in her place. I dreamed of Jake liking me enough that I could have been his first time, or simply a girl he thought was pretty. Because he thought she was pretty. That much was certain. You’d have to be blind not to.
Jake wasn’t blind.
She turned around with a smile, and I hated every part of myself that was jealous of her. “You really think so?”
I nodded before turning my attention back to the ceiling.
I heard her chair swivel again, and out of the corner of my eye I saw she’d gone back to doing her makeup.
“I hope you’re right. I shaved my whole body just in case.”
That made me laugh.
Well, it made me laugh until I remembered she was talking about Jake. I tried to forget it. That was what allowed me to genuinely enjoy being around Dakota. If I thought too much about the fact that she liked Jake, I dreaded her. So I forced myself to forget it.
But I never forgot for very long.
And now it made me sick to my stomach.
———————————————
My head was resting on Jake’s lap. I stared at a spot in front of me. It felt nice. Peaceful. I figured the alcohol was finally starting to relax me. I hadn’t had enough to get wasted, but I’d had enough to feel calmer.
Better.
“So… would you rather be a fish or a bird?” Conrad’s question pulled a smile out of me, and Jake shot me a knowing look.
For him, it was the weed that was starting to kick in. Weed did a lot more than just relax him.
It made him ask the most random, completely baked questions.
Still, I wasn’t complaining. I actually thought it was funny. I liked feeling smart enough to seriously think about something that stupid. It made me feel interesting.
I glanced over at Jake, who looked like he was actually giving it some serious thought.
“A bird.”
I frowned at him like he’d just said the dumbest thing I’d ever heard.
“No way. A fish.”
I pushed myself up so I was facing him. You would’ve thought we were discussing classified government secrets.
“Being a fish sucks. And they’re ugly as hell.”
I took that almost personally. I clutched a hand dramatically over my heart and dropped my jaw, pretending to be offended.
“You can breathe underwater.”
He shrugged.
“A bird can fly.”
I was about to argue, but Jake beat me to it.
“They’re faster. You can get anywhere way quicker.”
He wasn’t wrong.
But I still wanted to defend my point.
“What’s the point of getting somewhere faster if you can’t even see most of the planet?”
He stared at me, looking completely confused. He probably thought I’d lost it. He clearly had no idea where I was going with this.
“The planet’s basically all ocean. Birds can’t go see what’s underwater.”
I actually watched him think about that.
Then I watched him change his mind.
“Okay. Fish are better.”
I gave him the look I always gave him whenever he admitted I was right, earning one of his trademark eye rolls.
“What kind of fish would you be?”
I laughed.
The questions just kept getting more ridiculous.
“I don’t know. But you’ve already got the smell.”
That earned me a middle finger and one of those stupidly charming smiles of his.
I liked nights like this. I never really liked loud music or dancing. I couldn’t dance anyway. And too much noise always gave me a headache. What I liked was ending up alone in some room with my friends. I liked hearing the muffled sound of everyone else having fun while we sat around having the kind of completely ridiculous conversations alcohol always seemed to create. It was nice.
Just like having my head on Jake’s lap.
That felt nice too.
“I think I’d rather be a bird.”
Conrad’s eyes were slightly unfocused as he lifted his beer bottle to his lips.
I settled back down exactly where I’d been before, resting my head on Jake’s lap again. I kept pretending it was completely platonic, just something best friends did, except every time I touched him, nothing about it felt friendly to me. It almost felt wrong.
I let him do it anyway, even though he had no idea what it did to me.
Jake definitely didn’t see it the way I did. He probably had no clue my heart always beat a little faster whenever I rested my head on him, or every time his hand absentmindedly settled on my stomach. There was nothing complicated about it for him. He just wanted somewhere to rest his hand. I happened to be there. That was all.
But in my head…
It was never just that.
I always made it into something more.
I was almost ashamed of myself.
“You’re basically already a bird with how high you are.”
Conrad forced a smile before mumbling a sarcastic, “Real funny.”
Jake laughed, the sound completely clashing with Conrad’s annoyed expression.
I loved hearing Jake laugh.
Especially when I was the reason he was laughing.
Suddenly Dakota stood up and looked at Jake.
“Hey… you wanna come with me and grab another drink?”
Jake opened his mouth, then looked down at me.
I sat up and leaned back against the wall behind me.
I suddenly felt uncomfortable.
Jake hesitated.
He kept looking at me, lips slightly parted. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking or why he wasn’t answering her right away.
I looked down, feeling stupid.
“Yeah. Sure.”
Now I felt even more stupid.
He still hadn’t taken his eyes off me, and before standing up he nodded toward me.
“You want anything?”
I quickly shook my head without looking at him.
It was stupid.
I was avoiding him because I’d just remembered there was something going on between him and Dakota.
But, how could I even forget?
It was just that whenever I was around Jake, I got so caught up in him that I stopped thinking about everything else.
Now that I remembered…
I just felt pathetic.
I watched them walk away, and right before they disappeared through the doorway, Dakota slipped her hand around his arm like it was the most natural thing in the world. Jake smiled.
My chest tightened.
“You’re an idiot.”
I looked over at Conrad, surprised.
I acted like it didn’t bother me, answering with a sharp tone, but he was right.
And the truth hurts.
“And you’re stoned.”
He leaned farther back in his chair.
“Yeah. I’m stoned. Not blind.”
I pulled my legs up against my chest and rested my forehead on my knees.
It wasn’t nearly as nice as leaning against Jake.
But whatever.
Jake was with Dakota.
“So what exactly did you see?”
I sounded indifferent, but I wanted to know. I already thought I knew what he meant. I just wasn’t sure. And I hoped I was wrong. Because I’d rather keep my crush on Jake to myself. It was my secret. Nobody was supposed to know. Especially not Conrad. He was exactly the kind of guy who’d tell Jake. And that was the last thing I wanted.
“I see the way you look at him.”
He paused.
“Like you’re some puppy he dumped at a highway rest stop.”
The comparison stung.
But he was probably right.
It pissed me off that he’d noticed.
“I look at him normally.”
He raised an eyebrow, making it painfully obvious he didn’t believe me for a second.
“If you say so.”I hated that answer. I wanted him to believe me.
Instead, he was making it pretty damn clear he wasn’t buying a single lie coming out of my mouth.
I started hoping he was high enough to forget this conversation by tomorrow.
“You know what’s really stupid?”
I was hanging on every word.
“No. Enlighten me.”
He rolled his eyes.
“The stupid part is Jake feels the exact same way about you.”
I laughed.
A bitter, mocking laugh.
It hurt because I wanted that to be true more than anything.
I was in love with him.
I just wasn’t delusional.
“No, he doesn’t. He likes Dakota.”
Conrad laughed this time.
“He doesn’t give a shit about Dakota.”
I stared right back at him, convinced I was right.
You’d have to be deaf and blind not to see Jake had a thing for her.
“Oh yeah? Then why’d he fuck her?”
Conrad went quiet.
He actually thought about it.
I knew I was right.
His silence proved it.
“That didn’t mean anything.”
I brushed the comment away, convinced he just couldn’t admit I’d proved him wrong.
“Fucking someone means something.” Conrad didn’t answer. I looked at him sadly.
The alcohol wasn’t exactly helping me hide how miserable I felt about any of this.
Ironically, I was almost begging him with my eyes to come up with something—anything—that would prove me wrong. I’d have loved to believe him. I’d have loved to believe Jake really didn’t give a shit about Dakota.
But Conrad had nothing left to say.
Because I was right.
It felt like winning and losing at the exact same time.
“Well Jake’s an even bigger idiot than you are.”
It wasn’t enough.
He knew it.
So did I.
I stood up.
“I should go.”
He frowned.
“Why?”
I sighed, trying to think of an excuse that wouldn’t make it painfully obvious it was because Jake had left with Dakota.
“I’m tired.”
It wasn’t exactly a lie.
I was tired of all of this.
Conrad tried to stop me, but he’d obviously smoked way too much because he completely lost his train of thought and just let his head fall back against the chair with a grimace.
I grabbed my bag off the bed and left.
————————————
I was standing there like an idiot in the middle of the crowd. I hated this. There were too many people, too much noise, and it was way too hot. I kept getting shoved every time I tried to move forward, and I was starting to feel like I couldn’t breathe. That was exactly why I usually stayed off to the side.
Especially since I was putting myself through all this for almost nothing.
I was trying to decide whether I should say goodbye to Jake or not. I wanted to because he was my best friend, and I always did, but Conrad’s words still left a bitter taste in my mouth.
He’d fucked Dakota, he liked her, and I was pathetic.
I forced myself to push through the crowd a little farther until I spotted him near the table covered with drinks and half-empty pizza boxes. But what caught my eye wasn’t the food.
It was how close he was standing to Dakota.
They were practically pressed against each other, and the blonde’s hand rested lazily against his chest.
I gave up on interrupting them and turned to leave when a hand suddenly grabbed my wrist.
I spun around, startled, and found myself face-to-face with Cole Walker, a guy from school. He hadn’t even said anything yet, but I could already smell the alcohol pouring off him.
“Damn… you look really hot tonight.”
Maybe I should’ve felt flattered.
Instead, like every guy who wasn’t Jake, he filled me with nothing but disgust. Then again, Cole Walker also had a reputation for being a complete asshole, and even though I didn’t know him well enough to say if it was true, I was more than willing to believe the rumors. So at least I had another excuse besides Jake for not being interested in him. I pulled at my arm, trying to get him to let go of my wrist, while muttering a quick thanks, but his grip only tightened.
“You want a drink?”
The longer I looked at him, the more obvious it became that he’d already had way too many himself.
“No. I wanna go home. Let go of me.” He let out a dry little laugh, and a knot started forming in my stomach.
Something about him felt completely wrong, and his fingers wrapped around my wrist were starting to burn against my skin.
I wanted him to let go.
“Come on. Quit acting like some little prude. Have a drink.” I tensed up, realizing he really wasn’t planning on letting me leave.
His eyes were locked on mine with this unsettling determination, and there was something in them that made me sick to my stomach.
“I’m not thirsty. Let go of me.” As I said it, I yanked harder, but he squeezed my wrist even tighter and pulled me toward him.
He was hurting me.
“What the fuck is your problem? I just wanna get you a dr—”
“What part of let go of me don’t you understand?” For a second, I didn’t even understand what had happened.
In the blink of an eye, my wrist was free, and Cole was clutching his jaw with a grimace.
He glared at Jake, who was now standing between him and me.
When I noticed Jake’s knuckles turning white around his clenched fist, I realized exactly what had happened.
Jake had punched him.
Cole flashed him a vicious grin, ready to hit him back, and the crowd immediately started backing away to watch the show.
Jake dodged the first punch without much effort. Cole looked a little out of it probably because of the alcohol and probably because he’d just been punched in the face.
But the second time he swung, he landed it.
I flinched at the sound of the impact.
My best friend narrowed his eyes, stunned for half a second, before he started throwing punch after punch at him.
Someone yelled, “Fight!” Like it was the coolest thing that had happened all night. I silently cursed them.
There was nothing fun about a fight.
Especially when Jake was the one in it.
“Jake! Stop!” I was basically yelling into the void because he ignored me completely.
The fight finally stopped when one of Cole’s friends grabbed him and pulled him back before things got even worse. But that didn’t seem to calm Jake down.
He looked ready to hit him again.
I grabbed him by the arm, making him turn around to face me.
I was ready to tear into him, to give him the kind of look that told him he was acting like a complete idiot and that this whole thing was unbelievably stupid.
But the second I got a good look at his face, I realized how bad he looked. His lip was split open. Blood was running from his eyebrow. His cheekbone was already turning red. Every bit of my anger disappeared the moment I saw him.
My voice came out softer.
“Please, Jake. Let’s go.” He hesitated for a second, but I felt him relax just a little. He was still breathing hard, and I could almost feel the adrenaline still racing through him.
He looked back at Cole one last time.
“Go fuck yourself.” Then he followed me out.
————————————
I held the cotton gently against the wound, which still made Jake flinch. I whispered a sorry, trying to hurt him less. I grabbed his chin so he would stop moving around.
I focused like it was open-heart surgery.
But focusing on his injury kept me from focusing on him and the way he was looking at me while I was treating him.
“Did you call your mom?” I nodded. “Yeah. She said it was fine.”
I had insisted on walking Jake back to his place. After the fight, I felt kind of guilty. It was because of me that he had hit him, and therefore because of me that he was hurt. And I refused to let him go home alone. His dad was probably asleep, and the guilt was eating me up too much for me to go back home.
He had then asked me to stay over so I wouldn’t get home too late.
So I agreed.
Anyway, whenever I was with Jake, my mom let it slide. He had a reputation for being a pretty good influence, unlike Conrad and Dakota. My mom really liked him for that and she knew him really well.
Enough to let me stay the night at his place last minute.
I looked at his wound and started wondering if he needed stitches. I wasn’t exactly knowledgeable about medical stuff and I couldn’t tell if it did. I found steri-strips in the little first-aid kit he had grabbed for me and carefully applied them.
“It’s not necessary, you know? It’s really nothing.” I gave him a look telling him to shut up.
“Nothing? Are you serious? You got beaten up.”
Looking at him, you could tell he didn’t care at all. I was way more annoyed than him about the situation.
“He was way more messed up than me.” He smiled proudly.
I stepped back and closed the kit since I was done. I stood up to put it on his desk and came back to stand in front of him. I stayed standing while he was still sitting on the edge of his bed looking satisfied.
I looked at him with a disapproving expression.
“He deserved it.” He said it in a softer, more sincere tone.
I knew he thought what he did was right. He had defended me, and deep down, even though I wasn’t into violence and hated fights, I owed him. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through it if he hadn’t stepped in.
Still, I thought the fight was stupid.
“You shouldn’t have hit him though.” He frowned and shook his head, almost annoyed. “He was being pushy. And he’s an idiot. He wouldn’t leave you alone.”
Seeing him on my side like that made me shiver.
I would never admit it, but seeing him defend me felt a little too good. I acted like I thought it was ridiculous, but deep down, a part of me was touched.
I knew Jake would always defend me, because I was his best friend.
I wish he didn’t defend me just for that reason.
I liked being his best friend though, obviously.
But part of me wished he had fought Cole for another reason. That his reaction had been driven by jealousy instead of friendship.
“He would’ve eventually backed off.” He let out a laugh that wasn’t funny at all. He was laughing because he thought I was ridiculous. “That’s not the kind of guy who gives up.”
I could tell he wasn’t going to budge.
And deep down, that wasn’t what I wanted anyway. I liked that he insisted on the fact he had done the right thing by helping me.
It made me feel important.
It’s pathetic.
“I’m sorry I ruined your thing with Dakota.”
The sentence sounded fake the moment it left my lips but I was pretty sure Jake wouldn’t notice.
I hated myself for saying it out loud. I said it against my will, just to remind myself he was with Dakota and there was something between them. I needed to bring her up constantly to remind myself she had the place I wanted. It was every time I was alone with him.
Like now.
We were alone in his room, it was late, poorly lit, only his desk lamp lighting the space.
My heart was racing too fast. My mouth went dry whenever his green eyes landed on me.
I needed to come back to reality.
I needed to remind myself he liked Dakota and I was just his best friend.
It looked like he was trying to read me.
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
I already regretted insisting. I couldn’t help it, I needed to bring it up to remind myself I wasn’t her.
“Yes, because of me you had to leave and—”
“We don’t care about Dakota.”
His tone was firm, almost cold, and I couldn’t tell if he was annoyed or just didn’t understand why I kept talking about her.
“I tried to sound casual and playful even though it felt like it was tearing my throat apart to say it. “You do care about Dakota.”
He stared at me in a way I couldn’t read.
“What are you talking about?”
I was hurt.
He was acting like he didn’t get it. I wondered if he preferred pretending it wasn’t true or if he just didn’t want to talk about it. Either way, I took it badly.
“You like her, don’t act like you don’t.”
He looked at me like I made no sense.
“Nonsense.”
“Stop pretending!” I sounded desperate or annoyed, I didn’t know which. Either way, it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be indifferent. But I was too tired to hide my emotions. “You slept with her Jake.”
He opened his mouth, still shocked.
“It meant nothing.”
I laughed bitterly. “It does mean something!”
He stared at me coldly and stood up to face me. I had to look up at him, trying to keep my confidence. “Yeah, because you were there, so you clearly know exactly what it meant.”
He was right.
I wasn’t there. I had no right to assume anything.
But not knowing was exactly what made me torture myself with thoughts like that. I was consumed by the idea that he had been with her and it made me irrational.
I knew it.
But I couldn’t stop it.
“If it meant nothing, then you’re an idiot just like Cole Walker.”
His expression changed. He tensed.
“Maybe, yeah. But I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
He was right.
So right it made me sick.
I had to step back away from him. His presence was suffocating me. Or maybe it wasn’t him. It was me. What I was saying. I was talking too much, saying stupid things, and I couldn’t stand the way he was looking at me.
“I know.” I sounded desperate now. “I shouldn’t be involved in this.”
I was trying to excuse myself. Hoping we’d move on and he’d forget I’d just made a scene over something so stupid.
But I could see from the way he looked at me that he wasn’t going to forget.
“So why do you?”
I expected him to be harsher.
But his tone was so simple and calm it caught me off guard.
And I couldn’t answer.
I didn’t.
I looked down, biting my lip, praying he wouldn’t push it, even though I knew him too well to think he wouldn’t.
“Say something.”
“What do you want me to say?” I was at my breaking point. I had never felt so pathetic.
He moved closer and I stepped back.
I couldn’t be near him. I felt like I was messing everything up.
I was messing everything up.
“Tell me it’s because it matters to you.”
My heart skipped a beat.
It wasn’t the question that broke me.
It was his tone.
He sounded desperate.
I tried to rationalize it. Tell myself I was imagining things. It was ridiculous. He had no reason to sound like that.
But then he spoke again and I couldn’t deny it anymore.
“Please, tell me it matters. Tell me it affects you.”
He was begging.
“Yeah. It matters.”
I had to say it twice to realize I had actually said it.
Jake stared at me.
“It matters so much that thinking about it makes me sick.”
“Why?” he whispered.
I hesitated.
Then I thought screw it. I might as well say everything.
The words just came out.
“Because I wish it had been me.”
The silence that followed was suffocating.
I felt like I had just destroyed everything between us.
I exhaled, realizing I had been holding my breath.
Then in a split second, Jake’s lips were on mine. I didn’t understand what was happening. My hands went to his neck, his hands to my waist.
It felt unreal.
But it was real. It was him. It was Jake.
His lips tasted exactly the way I’d imagined they would. The only difference was that, instead of being soft and tender, it was more passionate. As if the waiting had made him rough. He was incapable of being any gentler.
"I wish it had been you, too."
I felt myself drifting.
A small sound escaped me as his lips moved to my neck and his hands held me tighter.
When he lifted his head, his gaze was burning. Something between desire and admiration. Maybe love.
I wished it was love.
That was what drove me.
I wanted him, and I was head over heels in love.
"It didn't mean anything."
Now I believed it. I wanted to believe it. And I let myself believe it because he was convincing.
"Every time she touched me, I was thinking of you."
My mouth went dry.
The sensation that washed over my lower belly was new to me. I was discovering feelings in places I never imagined. I felt hot. Too hot.
I craved him as instinctively as I breathed. I wanted him to touch me in places that were completely off-limits.
I was almost ashamed of it.
"Is that true?" I whispered the words.
It sounded like a challenge.
He moved his hand up to my face and caressed my cheek with a tenderness that made me melt. He leaned in close to my ear; I could feel his warm breath against my neck.
"I can prove it to you, if you want."
I nodded.
He pulled back to face me. His face was so close that our lips were almost brushing.
But he stayed just millimeters away, never closing the gap.
"Say it."
I was still breathless, even though he wasn't kissing me anymore.
"Prove it." I paused. "Please."
Without another moment of hesitation, he kissed me again. This time it was soft, slow, and less hungry—but far more sensual. His tongue sought mine, and I didn't regret for a second having turned down every other guy who had ever tried to make a move. No one else could make me feel the way Jake did.
He was in a league of his own.
Before, it had just been a thought; now, I was absolutely certain.
"Jake, I’ve never..."
"I know."
He moved lower. He had to bend down to reach my neck because he was so tall.
"Have you ever touched yourself?"
The question made the blood pulse faster through my veins.
I couldn't believe he was asking me that. It was Jake—he was kissing me, and he was asking if I’d ever touched myself.
And the worst part?
It made me soaking wet.
I wasn't a saint. I was a virgin, but not asexual. Of course I’d touched myself.
"Yes."
He swore under his breath—"Shit."
He guided me toward his bed, and I was too aroused to really register what I was doing. Or rather, what I was about to do.
"When I do it, I imagine it’s you."
My back hit the mattress, and I stared intently at him. I’d never heard anything so arousing in my life.
"Me too."
He positioned himself over me and picked up where he’d left off, though with more ease this time. His hands roamed over my stomach. They’d slipped under my T-shirt, and the direct contact of his palm against my bare skin made me shiver.
His hands moved upward while his kisses trailed downward. I tilted my head back, the pillow cushioning the movement. His fingers caressed the skin just beneath my breasts, and I swallowed hard.
"Oh, really?"
At that, he ran his thumb over my nipples through my bra, drawing a moan from me.
"Fuck, yes..."
He quickly pulled off my T-shirt and studied me intently. I should have felt self-conscious, lying beneath him like that.
But I didn't.
I almost forgot that I didn't like my body and that no one had ever seen it before.
It wasn't just anyone.
It was Jake.
"You’re perfect."
I never thought I’d hear those words from him—describing me, in a moment like this. It gave me the confidence to pull off his T-shirt in return, which made him smile.
He was perfect.
I had to force myself to look away.
He noticed, yet his smile never left his face.
"Can I?"
I nodded as his fingers went to the button of my jeans. He slowly lowered the zipper, and I had to stifle a gasp as he slid them down with practiced ease.
He tossed them aside with our other clothes.
I grazed his chest with my fingers and felt him revel in the touch. I moved lower, then lower still, until I reached the buckle of his belt.
But he stopped me.
"Not yet. I’ve got things that are way more fun for now."
I felt like I was fighting for air as he pressed his lips to mine, then my jawline, lingering on my neck and the skin above my breasts, before finally planting a kiss right on my nipple through the fabric. He kept going—moving above my navel, then below it, then right above my panties. He positioned himself between my thighs, and the sight made me let out a sharp, audible breath.
He slid his arms under my legs and kissed the inside of my thigh. My fingers dug into the sheets, even though he wasn't yet where I truly wanted him to be.
He hooked his fingers into the waistband of my panties and slowly slid them down my legs.
I felt like I couldn't breathe.
It was even worse when he spoke. "You’re so wet for me, sweetheart. You’re gonna make me cum just by the sight of you."
Just when I thought he couldn’t turn me on any more, he proved me wrong. I thought nothing could top a line like that, but he showed me otherwise when he planted that first kiss exactly where I wanted it. His tongue made an obscene sound, and I was unable to hold anything back.
He slowly licked my clit. Then he picked up the pace, only to slow down again. It was driving me out of my mind. And it got even more intense when he added a finger, arching it to perfection.
I’d touched myself before, but I’d never felt anything like this—and certainly not this quickly.
I was already on the edge, even though he’d barely started.
I couldn't say if it was just because it was Jake, or because he was genuinely skilled.
Probably both.
He made a sudden movement that made me incredibly sensitive, and my fingers tangled in his hair. Hearing him groan in response, I realized it was the most melodious sound I’d ever heard in my life.
The heat building in my lower belly intensified, and within seconds, my back arched as I moaned something that must have sounded like his name.
He slowly moved back up, retracing his path, kissing every inch of my skin as if he were worshipping me.
It was addictive.
My vision was a little blurred, my mind hazy.
"You taste like heaven, baby."
I’d barely finished coming when that same sensation stirred in my belly again.
He had that effect on me.
My fingers found his belt buckle again. "Can I now?"
It made him smile.
"Please, go ahead."
I didn't need to be asked twice.
In a flash, his jeans joined the pile of clothes accumulating beside the bed.
He paused, looking at me with a more serious expression. He was trying to detect the slightest trace of hesitation on my face, and I knew he wouldn’t find anything. I didn’t have an ounce of hesitation.
He reached for his nightstand, and I watched him pull out a condom, anticipating what was about to happen.
He tore the wrapper open with his teeth, and my heart began to race.
I studied his every move.
But when my eyes landed on his cock, I wasn't so sure anymore—not because I didn't want it, but because it was so long and thick.
"If you don't want to, I'll stop."
I looked up at him.
"I do want to. It’s just... I’m not sure it’ll fit."
He chuckled at my remark, and I tried to suppress the smile he’d drawn out of me because I wanted him to take me seriously.
His expression shifted, becoming more reassuring.
"Trust me, it’ll fit."
He positioned himself right at the entrance, and despite my apprehension, I felt a desperate, vital need to have him inside me.
"If it hurts, tell me. I’ll stop."
I nodded.
He paused for a moment, and we locked eyes. I think we were finally realizing that this was really happening.
Then he slowly slid inside me, drawing a moan from my lips. He wasn’t too fast; he was gentle and tender. I felt a bit tense, but the pleasure washed away the slight discomfort I’d felt at the start. I could feel him, and it wasn’t just physical.
It was him.
It was Jake.
It was real.
He studied me closely, and seeing no wince of pain, he gently picked up the pace. His thrusts were irregular yet precise—a deliciously exquisite torture. He repeatedly hit a spot that made my eyes roll back in my head. I couldn't feel my legs anymore; I couldn't feel anything but Jake.
His hand found my clitoris, and the overstimulation was my undoing. Every thrust was accompanied by a moan I couldn't suppress.
He started moaning too. He was more restrained, but that simple sound made me climax.
A violent wave of pleasure swept over me.
He followed close behind.
He kept going until we were both completely spent and gasping for breath.
I couldn't think straight.
He gently withdrew and lay on his side, catching his breath.
I stared at the ceiling for a moment, trying to gather my wits and fully take in everything that had just happened.
"I'm in love with you."
My heart skipped a beat. I turned my head to look at him. He was staring at the ceiling too, as if he hadn't just said the most significant thing imaginable.
"I'm in love with you, too."
I moved closer to rest my head on his chest. He welcomed me into his arms, and it felt so natural that I could have forgotten things hadn’t always been this way. He was still Jake—still my best friend—but he was also the guy I was in love with, and it felt like the most normal thing in the world.
After a moment of silence, Jake spoke.
"You know, it’s true—I did sleep with her. But making love to you confirmed what I already knew. It didn’t mean anything."
My fingers lingered on his chest as I etched every word he’d spoken into my memory. I didn’t even really feel that jealousy that had been eating away at me just hours before. It didn’t matter anymore.
"Why did you sleep with her?"
It wasn’t a vicious question. It was just a genuine question, asked simply to understand.
"Because I was a bit drunk and thought you didn’t care."
He paused.
"And maybe I was hoping for a reaction from you."
That remark made me smile, and I looked up at him.
"Well, it worked."
He smiled back.
"I’m glad."
I rolled my eyes, but the smile never left my lips.
I felt nothing but a sense of complete fullness.
It was soothing.
It was Jake.
