I just sent an ask talking about Lydia and Jackson being happy once but I'd like to add that that doesn't mean I like Jackson because he is still a jerk I just meant maybe they really DID love each other before. But Jackson is still a jerk
The short answer to this? Yes. I think Jackson and Lydia were happy once.Ā
I think the middle of Jackson and Lydiaās relationship is the happiest place for the two of them. I think Lydia started liking Jackson in a very clinical mannerā she knew what the two of them could achieve together in the high school atmosphere, he was hot, and he was giving her attention because she was giving him attention because he was giving her attention, so on and so forth.
I think it started off more as a political alliance that just grew into something steadier and with more heart in it. While we know that Lydia never felt for Jackson what Allison felt for Scott, I think her love for him was less āweāre soulmates, we belong together, you are every beat of my heartā and more of something that is actually more mature than that: āIāve been through so much with you, I love how wanted you make me feel, I love all these things about you that Iāve learned and begun to adore. You have my heart because time gave it to you.āĀ
Unfortunately, this probably happened more for Lydia than Jackson, although I do think that he loved her. He just didnāt know how to love selflessly and he didnāt love her as much as she loved him.Ā I think a part of Lydia knew Jackson so well that she thought there was even more under his mask, but if there was, he didnāt know how to access it at that time, so it was really of no use to her in their relationship. She just assumed that underneath what she saw (that was already deeper than what everybody else saw), there was something deeper. And she felt that she had to coax it out. She thought she had time. She thought she was doing it, little by little, every day.Ā
Basically, Lydia and Jackson started spending all this time together and at first she didnāt have her heart in it. It was security, it was fun, it was definitely lust because heās hot. And then she started to learn the little things about him and she just fell in love with him. She fell in love with this handsome, charming, rich boy who was athletically gifted and could wrap anybody in the school around his finger. It made sense, after all. They were perfect together. (Tangent: I head canon that Jackson was bad at math, and it endeared him to Lydia so strongly because he got all red faced and frustrated and couldnāt communicate when he was doing it and it made her heart ache. She used to fix the answers on his math homework so he wouldnāt say the wrong ones out loud in class if the teacher called on him.)Ā
When times were good with Jackson, it was really good. When he had good days, she had good days. It was making out under the bleachers on sunlit Wednesdays; it was driving down the street in his expensive car and letting the wind blow their hair back; it was taking him shopping and forcing him to carry her bags; it was dropping to her knees and offering him that power because she knew it was what he cravedā he wanted to be in charge, be in control, and she could give him that as long as she knew that she was really the one pulling the strings.Ā ButĀ when he had bad days, so did she, and pretty soon there started to be more bad than good and he was taking it all out on her. And she loved him too much, at that point, to want to undo that in any capacity. She just took the blame and accepted it and felt useless.Ā
Lydia stopped being able to truly pull the strings the moment she actually fell in love with him.Ā
The truth is, Lydia wanted what was best for Jackson. But she also wanted what was best for herself. And I think a part of that was the reason why she couldnāt see that he wasnāt treating her wellā Jackson was the only person who really choseĀ her. She had her fighting parents at home, we know that her dad forced her to pick between him and her mom instead of sharing custody. She was a pawn to him to hurt his wife. And then, to top it all off,Ā Lydia had put herself up on a pedestal, and she was all alone. With Jackson. He was the only one up there with her. She had gotten greedy on power and had made it so that Jackson was the only one good enough.
So when times were bad and Jackson was angry and stressed, to Lydia it just meant that she had to ride it out and keep on choosing him, because he was the only person who ever really chose her (even though usually when Jackson was choosing Lydia, he was choosing himself as well. We see him loving her in a very mean, destructive manner that, in the end, I think used her as a pawn just as much as her father did. But Lydia didnāt know that) and she wanted things to be good for him.Ā
Maybe, in a way, Lydia wanted to fix Jackson. She wanted him to be the perfect boyfriend, the perfect lacrosse player, the perfect love story. But in the end, the choices that Jackson made were for him, not for them. He didnāt feel as selflessly about their relationship. He didnāt want to be fixed because it would mean admitting that being adopted had damaged him more than he could comprehend. Jackson was good enough for Lydia, but he wasnāt good enough for himself. He wasnāt good enough to not be given up by his birth parents, in his head. And no matter how much she loved him, no matter how much she gave up for him (most of which he didnāt even know about or consider) Lydia would never be good enough for him. There wasnāt a way to fix him because he didnāt want to listen to her love.Ā
So I guess the short answer to what youāre looking for is that Jackson and Lydia made each other happy at one point. There were good times that were laced with bad times until suddenly the bad times became more common.Ā
But hereās the problem: he realized how happy she had made him when it was too late; when he had already thrown it away. And Lydia realized that he hadnāt made her happy enough too late to save her heart from being even more damaged by yet another person using it.Ā
