#jacksepticplier

I know, I know. The video is over a year old, but I finally broke down and watched it, lol. If anyone who finds this is struggling with finding their creative spark, or has a constant need for validation through the work of others, you should watch a playthrough of this game, or play it for yourself. Then, think on it and write, draw, just create anything.

Jacks playthrough - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPP9pdApRQE

My Response to The Beginners Guide

8:43 pm. Friday January 20, 2017 – 5 minutes after watching – My head is spinning with thoughts.

                I watched a Let’s Play, by JackSepticEye, on The Beginners Guide. I just finished it. I’m currently in a state of tears and shock because of how much sense it all made to me personally. My personal interpretation of the game was simple, yet extremely powerful, because it was me. I am both Coda and Davey. I am. Right now.

              Let me start of by saying that I am a musician, first and foremost. I am self-taught on the guitar and piano, as well as classically trained in orchestral percussion. I also do a little bit of singing. My reasoning for connecting Coda and Davey as one person is simple; I’m at both points right now. As Davey, I don’t believe in myself. I see myself as worth nothing when it comes to the artistic world. I look for showing off things I know and have discovered about other musicians to bring me some sort of validation. I know a lot about the technical workings behind sound engineering and instrumental workings, as well as the nuances of vocals regarding specific artists. I show off this knowledge as often as I can to prove that I can contribute in some way, shape, or form. I show bands that aren’t very well known to my peers to in a way prove that I can give them something new. As with Coda, I’m the artist. I’m the artist who works on new material, only to have it be shut away some place and kept in the darkness, away from human eyes and ears, similarly to the way I have shut myself off from most of the people I interact with. I don’t allow myself to feel, which inhibits my ability to create. I’ve been stuck in an artistic block for going on 4-5 years now. Occasionally, I write something, or create a melody, only to back away from it and forget it all together. And I get angry at myself for sharing my talents, because I don’t believe they’re perfect. I’m also afraid to show myself to people.

                So, with both, for lack of a better term, characters in this “game,” I was able to relate heavily with both while understanding them as one. It’s an extremely difficult situation to be in, because the Davey part of me is so frustrated with my Coda side, because I know that I can do so much more, but I’m stuck. And like Sean said at the end of his play through, I’m constantly looking for my spark, my next flood of great ideas and inspiration. I’m not allowing myself to create that spark. I’m not allowing my emotions to come out and fuel my artistic talents. Instead, I’m holding everything in and only writing and creating when I feel that five-minute burst of creativity that’s caused by holding everything in.

                This game had me in tears multiple times as I was watching it, because I saw myself and what I was doing to myself in such an extraordinarily abrupt and in-your-face way, that I couldn’t hide from it. I was so invested in this play through that there was no other option but to face it and let it affect me completely, and I’m thankful for that. So thank you to the developers, and everyone involved for bringing The Beginners Guide to the world, thank you to Sean for bringing it to my world, and lastly, thank you to my mom, sister, fiancé, and everyone else who has been pushing me to do what I’ve needed to all along. Let’s make some music :)