Santa Delivers Coal To Rust Belt, Stimulating Economy
By Jack Lyons
Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Johnstown, PA -Ā In the early hours of Christmas morning, Santa Claus helped president-elect Donald J. Trump deliver on his campaign promise to reinvigorate the rust beltās coal industry by filling his votersā stockings with coal. āSanta is a good friend of mine. Terrific man, Iāve known him for many years,ā said Trump in a Christmas address posted to his personal Twitter account, surrounded by Rockettes scantily-clad in Santa costumes. āI know coal better than anyone, and believe me, Santa has the best coal. Thatās why my supporters and I have spent a year and a half saying and doing all of these naughty things. The Democrats are sad because they donāt know how to get coal for Christmas. Pathetic!ā At press time, news and media outlets were attempting to explain to Trumpās voters that, like many of his campaign promises, Santa Claus was a mere fantasy.











