#iwtty

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Over the few months that Rose had been going to Trinity Catholic Girls’ School, she had only made two friends. Eloise and Marina were all that got her through school. Being that she had started in the middle of the year, it was hard for her to fit in. Not to mention, Rose nor her family were actually Catholic. Since Rose started at Trinity, Nancy Canes was the worst thing to happen to her. 

Nancy started a rumor that Rose was an orphan. Since Rose and her parents weren’t technically members of the church and because Rose always had George and Paul pick her up after school, Nancy made up some elaborate rumor that they were her adopted brothers and the church was doing charity by allowing Rose to attend the school. 

In reality, Rose’s father took up a second job so that her family could afford to send her to private school. Trinity just happened to be the school within walking distance and her parents were married in a Catholic Church. Really, they had all the proof they needed. 

After about two weeks of Rose attending Trinity is when it started. One day George and Paul’s bus was late. 

“Waiting for your brothers, Marie?” Nancy spat. 

“My name is Rosemarie. You may call me Rose.” Rose deadpanned, hoping Nancy would become bored with this cheap entertainment. 

“If they’re not your brothers then they must be your boyfriends. How scandalous you are little RoseMARY.” Nancy sneered.

“They are just my friends, Nancy.” Rose huffed, resting her chin in her hand and leaning forward on her knees. 

Nancy pressed on with her rumors. Telling the school that Rose was poor, couldn’t afford a new uniform and needed hand me down donations from the church. 

It was only a matter of days before Nancy had told virtually the entire school. 

Rose met Marina shortly after the rumor began. 

“Psst.” 

Rose was focused on writing her Language Arts essay quickly so she could get home and see George. 

“PSST!”

The sound was coming from behind her. She couldn’t hear exactly where it was coming from, but figured it was Nancy, attempting to torment her. 

“Hey!” A harsh whisper-yell came from directly behind her. 

“What?!” She whisper-yelled back through her teeth, turning around. 

“You’re Rose, right?” The girl behind her asked. 

Rose sighed, she already knew what question was coming. 

“Yes, I’m Rose. No, I’m not an orphan.” She deadpanned. 

“What? Oh, no. I know.” The girl responded quickly. “I’m Marina. Sorry about Nancy.” 

“Oh, it’s alright.” Rose brushed Marina off, not knowing what she wanted. 

“Anyway, just wanted you to know there’s good people at this school too,” she motioned to herself and the girl sitting next to her. 

The girl beside her waved and smiled. Rose waved and smiled back. 

Since that day, the three girls have been inseparable. At least at school anyway. 

-

Rose was terrified to let any of her girl friends meet George or Paul. She wanted to avoid the drama on both sides. As selfish as it was, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she didn’t want anyone taking George from her. 

The two had avoided any talk of feelings or any talk of the kiss since it happened. They basically went on as normal as if it never happened. But that didn’t take the feelings away. They still wanted to be around one another all the time and they were still each other’s favorite person. 

Being that it was finally the last day of school, Rose figured it was time that she introduced the boys and girls after all. 

She wanted to be able to spend time with everyone over the summer and this seemed to be the only right way to do it. 

“Alright, Rose, so I know George is your boyfriend, but what about Paul? You said he’s tall right?” Eloise went on and on about how excited she was and how dreamy she thought Paul would be. 

“El, George is not my boyfriend! Don’t say that in front of him. You’ll freak him out.” Rose groaned. 

“Well, are you kissing anyone else?” Marina laughed. 

“Stop!” Rose shushed Marina, tugging on her shirt sleeve. 

As if on cue, Paul and George approached. 

Rose hopped up from the curb swiftly, embracing George first. She soon realized that her hug may have lingered for too long. To recover, she grabbed Paul in a half hug. 

“Alright, let’s get it over with.” She said, rolling her eyes. 

“Marina and Eloise, George and Paul. George and Paul, Marina and Eloise.” She motioned back and forth to them. 

“Very lovely to meet you, ladies.” Paul immediately switched over to his cheeky self and shook their hands, giving them both a small peck. 

Marina and Eloise blushed and shared glances of excitement with one another and with Rose. Rose returned the look with a scoff and a smile. 

George put out his hand to shake and quickly introduced himself to the girls. 

-

The five of them walked together through the sunny town. 

“I am so glad school is over!” Paul exclaimed. 

“What’re your plans for the summer?” Marina asked him. 

“George and I are gunna start a band.” He grinned widely and wiggled his eyebrows at George. 

“Really?” Rose piped up. 

“Mhm,” George started, he had a mouth full of a candy bar and couldn’t speak, “gunna be the best skiffle band in Liverpool!” 

“Best in the country!” Paul replied excitedly. 

“In the world!!” George giggled.

Rose watched Marina and Eloise practically swoon over George and Paul and she laughed. 

Being a musician was something George always wanted. He grew up with music and it’s been his life from day one. The moment he first picked up a guitar, it just felt right. 

Rose knew this. She knew that music was his entire heart and soul. George wouldn’t be George without a guitar in his hands and a grin on his face. 

Although it was a joke to George, the idea of him actually becoming a famous musician was not a distant thought in Rose’s mind. She thought about it often. She feared George would leave and forget about her. That he’d be too famous for little Liverpool. Too famous for her. 

Rose didn’t spend much time thinking about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She knew for sure that she definitely didn’t want to be a nurse like her mother. Her mother was a strong woman for what she did- especially during the war, but Rose saw how exhausted, how hurt her mother was. She knew that her mother carried the weight of a thousand burdens and still stayed strong enough. 

Rose didn’t see herself as strong. She was afraid of everything. She made up ridiculous scenarios in her head that could never come true, yet she was still afraid of them. She feared that something would happen to her parents, or that George would leave, or die, or that the world would end, or she would come down with an illness, or her father would get laid off, or—

“Rose!” George nearly shouted at her. 

“Huh?” Rose was quickly snapped back to reality, “oh sorry, I was just- uh-… thinking.” 

Marina and Eloise laughed at her. 

“Thinking about George in a skiffle band?” Eloise quietly singsong teased at Rose. 

Rose elbowed Eloise, “what did I tell you?! Cut it out!” She playfully hissed. 

The group had finally arrived at Rose and George’s favorite record store. The one they’d been kicked out of on multiple occasions for either knocking things over or playing music too loud. The shopkeep, Simon, knew the two well by now so when they caused a ruckus they had to pay up by working for a few hours. They never minded because that meant they could go through all of the brand new records and before anyone else. They’d save up whatever allowance and lunch money they could to save up for sparkly new albums. 

“What ruffians have you two brought into my shop this time?” Simon jokingly greeted. 

“Only the WORST of little Catholic schoolgirls!” Rose said dramatically. 

The five of them spent the first day of summer walking around town, listening for any sign of good music or fun. Rose took every moment in as if it was the last time she would ever experience this. She wanted to remember things this way forever. 

-

October 23, 1955

The summer came and went and Rose wished so terribly that it never ended. Another year older means more time at school and less time for fun. She hadn’t seen George since the last day of summer. Every day he was either staying late at school or going to Paul’s to practice. Rose was busy herself, she started a Journalism Club at Trinity and she, Marina, and Eloise were rather consumed with reporting all of the news in Trinity Catholic School for Girls- and there was a lot. 

As much as Rose loved her time with George, she’d grown rather close to her two best gals. 

She hadn’t had any more romantic encounters with George since the kiss 8 months ago. They may have exchanged a long glance every so often, but nothing more. After all, they hadn’t spent time alone together in a while. 

For what seemed like the first time in weeks, Rose went straight home after school with no companionship. Normally she’d linger at the school, do journalism club, or have the girls over. Today was different. She needed space. 

Rose entered an empty home. Both of her parents were away at work. The house seemed eerily quiet. She rarely came home before them. 

She took off her shoes and sat on the sofa but something just didn’t feel right. 

“I can’t be here like this.” She mumbled to herself, slipping her shoes back on. 

She decided to go for a walk. As she stepped onto the pavement, she looked left and right. Right was the way to George’s house. She decided to go left. 

As she walked, she stared at her feet, counting her steps as she went, thinking about nothing… and everything. 

She continued making left turns around the block, not looking up much. Before she knew it, she was standing in front of George’s house. 

She slowed to a stop and her eyes gently gazed up at the familiar building. She sat and stared for a moment. She considered knocking. Hell, she considered going to George’s every day. He just didn’t seem as eager anymore. Rose felt that he’d grow bored of her. That he was growing bored of her. 

The sound of a lock clicked and before she could react, the front door opened.

“Rosie?” George chimed. 

The nickname and sweet tone in his voice nearly made Rose’s heart melt. 

“Hi, George.” Rose replied, awkwardly. 

“What’re you doing here?” He laughed. 

“I was in the neighborhood.” Rose beamed, trying not to smile. 

“Good one,” George laughed, “would you like to come in?” 

“Alright,” She wanted more than nothing but to come in, but didn’t want to seem too eager. 

Rose slowly followed George inside.

“I’m not interrupting anything, right?” Rose timidly questioned. 

“No not at all, Mum’s just making supper.” He motioned to his mother in the kitchen. 

“Rosemarie!” She exclaimed happily, embracing the girl.

“Hi, Mrs. Harrison.” She greeted back. 

“Our little Rosie, it seems like we haven’t had you over in ages.” Mrs. Harrison cooed.

“Yeah, it’s been busy… y’know, school and stuff.” Rose couldn’t place it, but something felt awkward. 

“Well, if you’re not busy today, we’d love to have you for dinner. I know George surely does miss you.” 

“Mum!” George interrupted, his cheeks turning rosy. 

Mrs. Harrison smiled as the two retreated upstairs, George practically dragging Rose away before his mother could say anything more. 

-

Rosemarie laid on George’s floor, staring at his ceiling. She imagined stars and planets swirling above her. 

George sat on his bed, playing guitar and humming. They could faintly hear Mrs. Harrison’s Indian music and the subtle tapping together of pots and pans coming from downstairs. 

“So,” George started awkwardly, his words stuck in the back of his throat, “there’s going to be this Halloween party at Paul’s church.”

By now, Rose had sat up and was looking at George. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go?” He grew nervous as he gazed into Rose’s eyes, “I mean- only if you want to… And you could bring Marina and Eloise too… if you wanted.”

Rose tried to ignore the little flutter in her chest. George inviting her to the party almost felt like a date. But he invited Marina and Eloise, too. So how much of a date could it really be? 

Rose hated how many thoughts flooded her mind. Of course she wanted to see George and spend time with him, he was her best friend. But ever since they kissed she couldn’t shake her feelings. Being alone with George felt different, it was exciting. She felt like she had to repress herself around him now- like if she didn’t try her hardest she might accidentally kiss him again. 

Rose swallowed her thoughts and feelings so she could respond, “we’ll be there.” She half smiled at George. 

He could tell there was something off about Rose. He knew it was from the kiss but he wouldn’t dare bring it up. So instead he pretended he didn’t see it. He distanced himself from her and tried to act normal. 

Neither of the two knew what normal was anymore. That kiss changed them forever. 

“George please,” Rose finally blurted. She couldn’t take it anymore. 

“What?” George decided to keep up with the clueless act. 

“Why did you kiss me?” Rose didn’t mean to be so straight to the point, but she couldn’t think of any better way to put it. 

“What do you mean?” The boy was caught off guard and didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know why he kissed Rose. He just did, he just wanted to. 

Rose was obviously annoyed with his response, “You can’t just expect me to forget it happened. I want us to go back to normal but it just feels strange.” 

George finally understood the impact it had on Rose. He saw it eating at her. The more she talked about it, the more he realized it was eating at him, too. 

“I just felt like I had to.” George didn’t know what else to say, “I want to go back to normal, too. We can act like it didn’t happen. We’ll be good old G and Rosie again.” He smiled, hoping his words would make her feel better. 

“I would like that,” Rose smiled and her eyes met George’s, “fresh start,” she said, putting out her hand for him to shake. He shook and the two grinned. Things sort of felt okay again. 

-

The day of the Halloween party had arrived and Rose still hadn’t decided on a costume. 

Marina was dressed as a cute clown, she wore a pale face with rosy cheeks and a red nose and fluffy hair. 

Eloise went with a more classic look, cutting holes in her bed sheets for a ghost costume. 

Rose was dressed in a dress that her Aunt Dominique had made for her in Paris. It was black with a deep purple trim and had a matching purple ascot. As she was getting dressed, a knock came from the door. 

Rose’s mother entered with a smile. 

“Darling, I thought this might help.” She pulled a cute felt witch’s hat from behind her back. She had customized it with a ribbon the same color as Rose’s ascot. 

“Mum it’s perfect!” She exclaimed. 

The witch, the ghost, and the clown walked down the pavement to the party. 

“Do you think George will ask you to dance?” Eloise asked Rose. 

“No, El. It’s not like that. We’re just friends. We’ll always just be friends.” Rose wouldn’t admit she liked the idea of having a dance with him, but she didn’t want to indulge in her feelings. 

“Do you want to always be friends? Only friends?...Forever?” Marina asked.

Rose bit her lip and thought about it for a moment. She knew the risks of accepting feelings. She knew that even if George did feel the same way, and they someday started a relationship, it would just end up complicating things. Plus, it was too easy to get hurt, or worse- lose him. 

The trio eventually arrived at the church and it was a lively scene. They had no idea where George and Paul would be, so they enjoyed their girl time. 

The church was set up like a carnival, with games and treats. The three girls were playing a game when Rose looked up and saw them. 

Twin cowboys strutted through the church grounds, one slightly taller than the other. 

“Oh. My. God.” Rose gasped, trying not to shriek with laughter. 

Marina and Eloise quickly looked up and joined in with Rose’s laughter. 

“Howdy, little darlin’s.” Paul greeted, with a strong southern American accent, tipping his hat. 

“Ladies,” George did the same. 

“You two look amazing!” Marina laughed, touching Paul’s leather jacket. 

“Where did you get these costumes?!” Eloise gawked. 

“My mum made ‘em.” Paul beamed, proud of his mother’s work. 

“Tell her to open a shop, these are magnificent!” Rose complimented. 

The five of them had a blast at the party, Rose and George released the feelings of awkwardness and enjoyed their time together. 

While the group snacked on popcorn, a man walked up onto a stage to get everyone’s attention. 

“That’s the pastor,” Paul informed. 

“Thank you all for coming this evening. In just a moment, our church band will begin the entertainment for tonight.” The Pastor announced. He retreated from the stage and a few men took his place, preparing instruments. 

“George!” A voice shouted. 

George and all four of his friends turned to see what it was. 

“Oh, no. Not her.” Paul muttered. 

Before anyone could ask what he meant, she was in front of them. 

“Hello, Daphne.” George monotonically greeted. 

“Georgie! It’s so good to see you!” She squealed, grasping him in a tight embrace, her blonde curls bouncing and pink tutu surrounding him. 

Rose’s mouth grew sour. Who the absolute hell is this? Surely George would have mentioned Daphne before, especially with how friendly she was. 

“Paulie! Great to see you too!” She shouted, squeezing Paul as well. 

“Who are your…” she looked the girls up and down, “friends?” She flashed a fake smile. 

“This is Rose, Eloise, and Marina.” Paul said motioning at the girls, “Ladies, this is… Daphne.” He introduced her embarrassingly aniticlamatic.  

Before any of the girls could respond, Daphne started up again. 

“Anyway, boys, some of the church band is running late tonight and my father said you could fill in until they get here. We really need you.” She whined. 

George and Paul would never pass up an opportunity to play, especially for an audience. The two vibrated with excitement. George shot Rose a look, almost as if he were asking her permission. Rose swallowed any ounce of jealousy and smiled at George. As long as he’s happy, she thought.  

“Meet us behind the stage after?” Paul suggested to the group. The girls nodded back in agreement. 

Paul and George made their way to the stage, Daphne dragging them along. 

Rose, Marina, and Eloise approached the stage, front and center so they could cheer on their pals.  

The church band began to ascend onto the stage, Paul and George following timidly behind. The excitement and confidence they had mere moments ago vanished as reality set in for the two boys.  

George found his place on stage and gulped. Suddenly, he felt so silly in his cowboy costume. With all of the eyes in the room on him, he grew hot. His clothes felt too tight. Then, his eyes met Rose’s.

She was grinning widely at him, her face glowing with pride.

“You’ve got this!” She mouthed at George. 

Not long after they started playing, George loosened up. He was in the music- he was apart of it. It didn’t matter to him that they were playing gospel music, they were playing music. 

After about three songs, the pastor informed the group that the actual band members had arrived. The crowd applauded Paul and George for their talents as well and good sportsmanship. 

Paul and George retreated to the back of the stage. Rose, Marina and Eloise followed, expecting to meet them. By the time the girls had discovered where the stage entrance was, the boys were nowhere to be found. 

“I thought they were supposed to meet us here.” Marina groaned, rubbing her feet. She had borrowed her mother’s high heels for the costume, but quickly regretted it. 

“It’s alright,” Rose started, “they’re probably in the loo or something. I’ll go find them. You can rest here.” Rose had no idea where the loo even was, but she figured there were only so many places the boys could be. 

Rose wandered around the hallways of the church community center. She eyed the plaques beside the doors. Some had numbers, some had names, but most of them were locked. Finally, she approached a door that was cracked open. The plaque beside the door read “Practice Room”. 

She pulled the door open and was immediately faced with a horror. Dead in the center of the dim room were George and Daphne- lips locked. 

“Oh my God- I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what to do. She felt hot and her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. The agonizing pang in her chest was a feeling she had never experienced before. Her body moved as if in autopilot, kicking into fight or flight. She quickly turned around and retreated down the hallway, running. 

“Rose! Wait!” She could faintly hear the shout as she turned the corner, exiting the building. 

She approached Marina and Eloise, not stopping as she walked past.

“Rose? Where are you going? Where are George and Paul?” Eloise questioned as her friend ignored her existence. She shot Marina a concerned look and the girls made haste to catch up with Rose. 

Rose was angry. She was sad. She was jealous. She was mad at herself. She could feel the heat radiating from her cheeks in the chill October night.  

“Rose, what happened?!” Eloise, grabbed Rose’s arm, halting her stomping. 

She turned to face the girls, a mess of mascara and eyeliner running down her face.

“George was kissing Daphne.” She nearly sobbed. She thought she sounded so pathetic when she said it, like it was the end of the world. She didn’t even know why she was jealous. She and George were only friends and he could kiss whomever he saw fit. 

Despite how pathetic Rose thought she was being, her two best gals were always there for her.

“Aww, love, I’m so sorry.” Marina cooed, embracing Rose.

“He’ll come around, Rosie. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” Eloise reassured, joining in the embrace. 

Rose sniffled, “I shouldn’t even care. We just had a chat about how things are normal again. I don’t even know why I’m so upset.” 

Marina pat her back, “You love him. Nothing to be ashamed of.” She smiled at Rose. 

The three girls returned to Rose’s house and bundled into their pajamas. Rose’s mother made them cozy cups of tea to comfort them to bed. 

Rose felt better, surrounded by the love of her best friends and her parents. She hoped she would soon forget what she had seen. But of course things didn’t work like that. The image felt as if it had been carved into her brain- frozen in time there forever. 

She observed her friends- Eloise lying sprawled out on the floor, mouth hanging open, Marina crumpled into light blue velvet chair in the corner of the room, her head resting in her hand. They looked so peaceful. Rose decided that for now, she would sleep, too. She could deal with her feelings in the morning.

 Her breathing slowed and her shoulders sank as she finally relaxed, drifting off to sleep.

-

*TAP*

…

*TAP*

Rose’s eyes sprung open. As her vision adjusted, she focused on the room around her. She saw her two friends, Eloise now lying on her side, snoring lightly, Marina now slumped down in the chair, her head resting on the arm rest.

*TAP*

Rose soon realized the sound came from her window. She moved slowly and quietly, careful not to wake her friends. She pulled back the curtain and opened the window with a ghostly stillness, poking her head out of the open space.