i want to feel loved so i imagine blooms of colour over my skin, bruises melting into each other; so i imagine the faces of those around me as they ask, horrified, are you okay? and i tell them it’s nothing, i’m fine, but they reassure me it’s not okay i must be so hurt and scared and brave, but also the colours are so beautiful you look so beautiful. i want to feel loved so i imagine hidden tears that those around me somehow stumble into - i didn’t ask for them but they still found me somehow and they hold me and i’m too weak to push away so they keep holding me but i’m also weak so they take care of me and i want to feel loved so i imagine.