#iwritemusings

Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Universal Studios Japan, Osaka, Japan

where i've been turned 8 today!

shameless promoting ;AA;

9-Dec-2013

I don’t really know what to say right now. There are just times when I want to shut down from everything and get away for a while. It’s not easy being the youngest in the family and having insecurities about never being good enough no matter what I do. Older siblings probably thinks I’ve had it easy and never had to work my ass off for things I wanted. Wrong. I have been constantly trying to gain my family’s approval and that meant agreeing to whatever they need me to be and denying myself the pleasure of doing things i really wanted to do just to please them. 

I’m hurt, i’m heartbroken about things i know would sound ridiculous to most people. A comment made by my sister which cut real deep and i kept replaying it in my head its driving me crazy. She doesn’t mean it? Well fuck it, I am hurt and I just want to go far far away from all of them. I am never good enough and will never be in their eyes. I will always be the youngest sister who made all the wrong decisions in life and have to constantly rely on them especially when it comes to finances. Just because they help me out they think they have the right to insult me. Fuck this shit I just want to escape and hide from everything. I’m embarrassed and hurt and I don’t know if I’ll ever forget she ever made that comment. I don’t even know how to ease the pain right now other than blogging my heart out. Lol this blog has definitely been my way of relieving some pent up frustrations and I hope nobody gets to ever read this shit cuz I just sound pathetic.