#iwanttogrow

In today’s society, I would be considered damaged goods. A broken woman that relies on caffeine and snackums to get through the day. A woman that is unable to create meaningful connections with the people around her. The daughter of a beaver bumper and a raging alcoholic.

The loner girl who has suffered from acne most of her life. The loser that is always too afraid to stand up for herself. The pushover that everyone takes advantage of. The girl that’s too nice to say no.

And these are the reasons why I keep getting hurt.

Despite all of the pain that I have endured in my life, I refuse to let it harden my heart. I try my best to remain hopeful, optimistic and kind.  I give everyone a chance. I’m even willing to give them more than one chance. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But I think it’s time to start accepting  the fact that not everyone's the same as me.

Not everyone has the same heart as I do.

Some people don’t care. They have no regard for other people’s feelings.They will use and abuse and then toss them to the side. Like they don’t even matter. It’s sickening. And I for one want no part of it.

I don’t want to become one of these people. I don’t want to let pain shape me into a horrible human being. I don’t want to drag others down to make myself appear bigger.

I want to grow. I want to thrive. I want to evolve. I want to welcome change with open arms.

I want to be an amazing mother. I want to be a thoughtful daughter. I want to be a supportive sister. I want to be a fierce friend. I want to be a good person.