So, part of my pre VSG prep is to have an iferior vena cava filter placed. It’s a tiny device made by a company called Tulip. The IVC filter placement is a really quick outpatient procedure, but one that required sedation, so my wife came along with me.
I wasn’t sure what to expect. The only surgery I’ve had to this point in my life was to have my wisdom teeth taken out, which was honestly so long ago that I barely remember it. I wanted to write a little about the experience because maybe other potential VSG patients are also a bit nervous?
So, my rules were pretty simple: bring my insurance card, a list of meds, don’t eat anything after midnight, and don’t drink anything 2 hours prior.
I was pretty hangry on the way to the hospital at the ass crack of dawn, and also fairly exhausted because I was too anxious to sleep very much. Everyone was really lovely and quick getting me into a room, although they did give me a pregnancy test that I did not consent to. (Seriously unnecessary, guys, I’m super gay).
I was given a garment bag for my clothes and a gown and told that the gown was all I should be wearing. No underpants, fully porky pig. But at least they gave me a sheet and a blanket. Honestly, I was not too uncomfortable.
The nurse came in to take my vitals and ask about meds, make sure I wasn’t wearing any body jewelry or anything, and talk about what I could expect.
They had to stick me several times to get an IV line started. I’ve never had a hard time being stuck before - something that the nurses had a hard time believing. On the other hand, most of the time I’m having blood drawn, it’s from that vein in the crook of my elbow and apparently that is not ideal placement for outpatient surgery. Eventually, the anesthesiologist got a vein in my hand on his first (third total) try. What a champ.
They finally brought my wife in and we talked for a little while until the surgery room was ready for me. The dude who wheeled me to surgery must have known half of the hospital staff because every single person we passed talked to him. And because he was kind of invisible behind me (and I wasn’t wearing my glasses), I kept thinking that all these strangers were talking to me and feeling like kind of a rockstar. (Did I mention that it was an incredibly sleepless night?)
The operating room was super cold with all kind of big shapeless (no glasses, remember?) machinery. They had me get onto a different cot, put arm boards on it, and then injected me with an antibiotic, a benzo of some sort, and Fentanyl, which is a super strong painkiller, so everything after that is a little foggy.
I couldn’t really see anything that was going on. I think my top half was reclined a little. There was a nurse hanging out the whole time. I don’t remember if I talked to her, but I tried really hard to ask questions about her life, which is kind of what I do when I’m feeling socially anxious any other time. I think we talked about morning commutes, though.
The room was hella cold, which is probably because it was filled with pricy machines and hard science, but they did bring me blankets for my top half and bottom half, leaving six inches in the middle exposed so my junk was hanging out. “Oh, we are going to be good friends,” I remember saying.
The surgeon’s resident taped my belly roll out of his way, so they had access to my groin, which is where the incision for the filter was made. They gave me a local anesthetic and then disinfected the area around the incision site, which was the most uncomfortable part of the whole process. I didn’t feel the incision or any real discomfort from then until they ripped the tape holding my IV in place several hours later.
After they were done, they cleaned me up, put a dressing on my wound, and wheeled me to recovery, where I napped until someone brought my wife back. I kept nodding in and out, but apparently I said all of the stuff in the picture above, which my wife put on facebook for posterity/hilarity. She did say that there was a man behind me (she meant a man in a hospital bed, another patient), which I took to mean that there was some rando standing behind me. I get really scared and cried, and then when I realized what she meant started laugh-crying.
Eventually, they set us free and we picked up food on the way home, I ate, and fell asleep until just a few hours ago. Overall, it could have been a ton worse. I’m so ready for a shower though, which I’m not supposed to do until in the morning.
Counting down the hours until I can take off my dressing and get clean.
