#itspastmybedtime

i'm definitely having a struggle with myself lately. as i grow up, i'm understanding exactly what i like, what i don't like, and what i can handle. even down to the details. but as i express these interests, i've noticed that others want to deter me away, almost as if to tie me down...make things go back to a previous time. a previous marina, who was naive and didn't have many opinions or life experiences. i don't want to lose these "others" that i'm refering to, so i keep as much as i can to myself, but i feel it build up inside me. so it keeps me up at night and i start to overthink every little thing. i want to figure out a way that i can make my interests and opinions really mine and have others accept that. but how can i do that when they are stuck in the past? and i need these people to stay in my life? how do i find that happy medium? how?

Anyone else already setting intentions for the coming year? I don’t know about you, but I think I’d like to make it BIG. A grand journey of acceptance and forgiveness and art and creativity and putting it all out there. Something’s got to give. This I know. Montana agate + recycled sterling silver ✨ #itspastmybedtime . . . . . #montanaagate #montanaagatering #jeweler #contemporaryjewelry #contemporaryjewellery #modernjewelry #contemporarystyle #minimaliststyle #minimalistfashion #studiojewelry #jewelryart #silverjewelry #sterlingsilverring #minimalistjewelry #minimalistjewellery #contemporarycraft #handmaderings https://www.instagram.com/p/CWr5yySAUq6/?utm_medium=tumblr

i've had a thought that's been with me since mother's day. i think i had a first-hand experience with the divide between men and women in my own family. as i go on with my career in the dietetic field (and am very grateful for), it seems to me that my family would rather talk about my brother's career. hayden will be graduating with a degree in political science but he still has no plan for a job or when he will start. it seems unsecure to me...he might still being working at costco and in grocery and to be honest, i don't think that's a job that people want forever. i don't want to put hayden down or anything, but it frustrates me that i have a solid plan and my family is more interested in his course. another part of me thinks that i'm too confident and i need to stop telling my parents that this diet or that diet doesn't work. they don't want to listen. so do i stay in the shadows and just let it all play out or do i keep pushing my opinions? that's another thing too, i realized that i don't have any solid opinions because they are always shut down and nothing matters when it comes to what i say. i've adapted to just listen to people and stay quiet. i tell people all the time that i'm a good listener, but my advice or ideas always are set aside. feels like a slap to my face all the time. ALL THE TIME. however, i do enjoy that i'm soaking up all these opinions of others and notice how stupid they are in the fog of their own narcissism.

Finally out with friends😂 #finallyout #itspastmybedtime #makeup #hudabeautynewnude #nudelip #sephoralipstain #snapchatfilter #browneyes #firstnation #nativewoman #selfie (at The Sticky Wicket Pub & Restaurant) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3MLDH4nGnc/?igshid=1hznanhiuu3fc

Bird no. 267. Do this more. . It may seem like a small kindness, but to the recieving end I can assure you it fills the entire room. . I love the (swing) dance classes I'm taking right now. I feel excited, I feel like I'm learning, I love the instructors, I am delighted to be able to join in. There's just one little thing... . The classes are all in French! 😂 I can understand the instructors well enough (we all hear what we want to hear anyway, right? 😉), but the real issue is integrating into a group of people who are already friends and only speak French to each other 😓 . Every time we have to partner up, my heart starts to pound and in an instant it's already over - I look around the room and suddenly I'm the only one standing alone! It's like being picked last for a team by every person in the room, over and over again 😅 . I get it, and it's not personal, but it's a HUGE exercise in sitting with discomfort. I think in a few weeks it will be a little less painful. I can feel it already, because: . Today, someone noticed me. Today, they picked me. Today, they saw me sitting alone, and invited me to come to the dance tonight. . It meant the world to me that they even spoke to me...and here I am at home 😂 I can think of a million excuses not to go, but I'd better put on my dancing shoes. Wish me luck! 😘 . #getoutthere #askanyway #getoffthecouch #shoot #itspastmybedtime (at Montreal, Quebec)

This is the yes I Know #itspastmybedtime look #whatyagonnado about it Momma look. #oscarpuppylove (at Greenport, New York)