#itsadreamersworld

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with

Oh my GOD Kat I’ll never get finish if I list ALL of them. So have some of the most basic chars I identify with:

Aziraphale from Good Omens

Castiel from Supernatural

Angel from Buffy / Angel

Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin

Varric Tethras from Dragon Age

Bruce Banner from the MCU

4. do you like your name?  is there another name you think would fit you better?

Ok this is the best time for this question, because I recently found my actual chosen name. So yeah, I’m fine with being Steve, but my ID is gonna say Leonidas when it’s finally good and proper. For various reasons, each more specific and personal than the other. Don’t even think of making fun of me for my choice, it was tough to come up with something that sounds okay and I don’t hate.

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

I definitely do. I constantly judge myself based on what I achieve or not, which might be unhealthy, but I rarely allow myself to just be. A day on which I do nothing is a day closer to death, and I hate that. So yeah, human doing, I guess.

6. are you religious/spiritual?

Not exactly? As in I believe there are forces greater than us that we can’t understand, but I would only call them a god in lack of a more scientific name; lightning used to be a god’s wrath, now it’s just a natural phenomenon. Do I believe in magic? I kind of do. I believe in collective energy and silly superstitions that make no sense and I believe in something bringing me luck and I believe if I pray when I feel like it somehting good will happen, if nothing else because I’ll be comforted by it and I’ll relax enough to let things happen. 

In general, I’m extremely agnostic, even though I find the spirit of religion beautiful; telling stories to explain a shitty world and make sense out of it is wonderful to me, and we’ll never know if one of them or all of them or neither of them is right. It fucks me up to think about it but it’s sort of cool.

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

I do, in fact. Not more than I would if I’d been born anywhere else, and I don’t feel luckier or more unfortunate than others, but I’ve grown to love my people and my homeland. I like speaking this weird ancient language and walking among the stones that shaped a world, and I love the sea and the sun and the olive trees and the weird customs and the vaguely morbid traditions. We are not perfect as people, we’re too rude and ridiculous and ethnocentric and backwards and proud, but we’re also cheerful and kind and hospitable and loud and proud and caring, and we might have had our prime three thousand years ago, but hey, we’re still here and we’re kicking and it’ll take a lot of effort to get rid of us.

So yeah, I love being born here.

9. are you an artist?

I consider myself one, yes.

12. dog person or cat person?

Def dog person.

13. inside or outdoors?

Depends on the mood. I stay in a lot because it’s easier for me to draw on my desk. But I love being on trains and sitting close to the sea or in benches or somewhere sunny or walking in the cold or listening to badass music while walking quickly. Maybe outdoors, then, when I get the hang of drawing more while out.

14. are you a musician?

I tried it and kinda failed. I want to try learning how to play the guitar again, though, and I’m working on my singing voice now that it’s done dropping. It’s not terrible.

16. if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same?

Can anyone say that? No, I can’t imagine being the same if I’d grown up anywhere or with anyone else.

21. do you love easily?

No. I like people easily, and I talk to people easily. It takes tons of time and trust and certain gut feelings for me to love someone. This will sound cliché as fuck but I’ve been hurt by the people I valued the most in an age crucial to the development of my way of approaching feelings in general, so I don’t trust easily, and I don’t love without trust. The past few years I’m better at opening up and letting people in so I can give them a chance to trust them, but it takes a while.

22. list the top five things you spend the most time doing, in order.

These days the list is sad:

Working

Sleeping

Playing DA

Listening to the Deadpool soundtrack

Scribbling things

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

I still live with part of my family, so I don’t know how things would be if we weren’t this physically close. I’d like to see my father more often, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t. I’d like him to be the kind of person I’d like to meet more often, but that’s on me.

25. could you live as a hermit?

Dear god, no. I love people.

26. how would you describe your gender/sexuality?

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

Okay both are a clusterfuck so let me explain. 

I’m technically genderfluid. I switch between male (most of the time), agender (a significant amount of the time), and female (extremely rarely and surprisingly). However, I generally present as a not at all macho guy. I wish I could experiment a little sometimes without it being used as proof that I’m confused or as a call for attention or as an invitation for unwanted comments. 

My sexuality is... also a mess. I like people. I don’t often get crushes on people and when I do, they’re the kind of crushes that disappear in a day or two after the person tells me they’re not interested in my loser ass, because I’m incapable of seeing a person romantically if I haven’t known them as a friend first. I literally couldn’t care less if they’re male or female; I’m more sexually attracted to masculinity and more romantically attracted to people who tend to identify as at least partially female. There are certain people with whom I could be in a polyamorous relationship with and other people I’d only want for myself like a jealous and greedy fucker. Sex is an activity I don’t particularly miss, but I would take part in if it pleased my partner.

I generally identify as a panromantic asexual guy in companies that know their labels, and bisexual in companies that don’t, but honestly, how can you fit so many details into one or two words? So fuck it, I’m just queer.

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

No.