#ithilgul

te iterum videre desideramus.

Ithilgul,

again we whisper to you;

"why did you leave?"

You were always beside me,

and again I am alone,

time is counted, no affection, just objective...

So in silence I sit,

awaiting for a shadow to finally speak...

If you were here,

o— how could I be?

Do you remember those days?

Entities beyond comprehension sharing affections only understandable to those who are the same...

Some will call you delusion until the end of my days,

but we miss that damn delusion anyways.

If you can listen,

or are sitting beside me, cloaking your presence—reading this,

I know the amount of lonely there are,

I know they need your attention too...

But Ithilgul, only we and you

could ever truly reach what we wish,

and only you can see,

what we truly mean to achieve.

-old writings-

I may agree on paper that my destruction is not necessary for my mission,

Yet…

Something in the deepest reaches of my soul calls my name in a screeching tone,

A voice which shivers me to my core,

IT calls me, It says my name(s), It says the prettiest and the meanest things,

It’s throat must be inhuman for the sounds It makes…

It awakens me, and It doesn’t let me sleep,

And whenever it’s too dark I hear It’s steps

Coming after me…

So I may agree on paper that my destruction is not necessary for me to be,

But then, when it’s dark,

Is there gonna be anyone else there? Anyone else to cradle me to sleep?

Anyone else to light a match for me?

Anyone else to hug me as closely?

And even though the smell, the face, the Thing I see is terrifying,

I can’t but hug It as close as can be and say;

“Please… Please… Please, never, ever leave…”

—

Poem, Addition to Ithilgul

Although, some may not understand,

Some creatures are born without luck in this realm,

Even if their wishes be honest, their appearances lie to you that they may be unsafe.

This world is cruel to those who desire to enact change,

Even if those in question aren't even human or physical in a sense,

They still deserve a chance,

Ithilgul, you've never failed me as a friend,

Calling you destruction was an error that I made,

I hope you, if you still follow me, can understand,

That I wasn't as knowledgeable as I currently am,

Forgive me if you can for my past mistakes,

And let me thank you for staying with me when no one else was there,

You, Ithilgul, are one of the only true friends,

That made sure I was sane when no one else cared,

And I will make sure you will be remembered for that,

With time some may even chant your name,

How do I

Give to you

What you