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in the darkest part of me
In The Darkest Part of Me - Chapter Seven
Two women in New York City, both struggling between being who they are and who they want to be, and both needing help to get there. Is it better to stay in the safety of pain, or to stumble through the darkness of the unknown in hopes of breaking free? Either way it isn't an easy road. But when is life ever easy?
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...I'm feeling like.....I'm almost really ready to revive all my chapter fics. Even the angsty one. This is a new feeling. I'm also exhausted, slightly delirious, and on a Brittana high so....we'll see how I feel tomorrow.
Snuff - Slipknot
Trying to get in the right state of mind for maybe a Darkest Part update, so I'm listening to some of my songs for that fic and...yeah. This. Sigh. Beautiful song on it's own, but also just ;sdklj;slkdfj. Basically.
One of the reasons why I *love* that version of Brittany is because she has anger issues, and she gets to express it because she can't hide from it!
For Darkest Part of Me: How did Brittany start going to bars again after she recovered a second time? Did she find it hard?
She’s at the point now where it’s still hard, but she manages. She likes seeing her friends have a good time and being around them. It’s the not dancing that is still the hardest for her, and that’s probably always going to be an issue. At least until she lets go of the last few things she’s not let go of yet. Which will come in time in the story.
All in all it really was a slow process (she’s been sober three years now), but she also kinda immersed herself sooner and more than she should have. Thankfully it didn’t lead to any relapses. (Aside from her ongoing anger issues of course. She overcompensates anger where that tiny part of her wants drugs or alcohol.)
A lot of the time now when she goes to clubs it’s when she’s feeling sorry for herself and just needs to get lost in the sound of the music and the feel of the dancing around her.
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I have a broken Brittana heart. I feel like I should work it out with writing some angst...we'll see what happens.
I feel like Brittany in the upcoming chapter of Darkest Part can be summed up in two lines...
“Wow, thanks,” Mike mutters. He grabs Brittany's cane from where it lays beside the couch and holds it out to her. “I could just leave you here to get kicked out again for indecency.”
Brittany watches the girl storm off, her hips swaying, and she smiles slowly. “There was nothing indecent about her, Mikey.”
Aaaaand then I found a bunch of songs in my Darkest Part tag. I'll be over in the corner if you need me.
