#itbethatwaysometimes

*disappointment*

“This isn’t the one I wanted” “it doesn’t have a head”

“I’m not asleep, my mind is alive!”

But what I need most of all is to reevaluate myself. Reevaluate my character. My secret sadness and minor self destructive tendencies when I'm alone are better, but they still linger very close to me.

I realize I lose myself to people. Whether it's a partner or a friend I find their presence, their life, their problems the perfect distraction from my own. But I can only go so long until I'm so backlogged on fixing my own shit or working out my own feelings that I seem to lose the ability to keep connected. I drift into myself and then get angry that they cant feel my vibe or understand why I'm being a certain way.