#it's...complicated

"Maybe this world was created for us to meet."

Levi could have so much more to offer to the story, he has connections with a lot of characters, one way or another, and it would be pretty disappointing to see his life end here. But I thought the same about Annie and Ymir and look how it all went, lol.

As for the grudge, I don't think it's unreasonable for him to be deeply angry with Zeke, just like Connie has every reason to, it's just that...it is irrational to think the problem merely lies in Zeke, that revenge will actually mean anything all things considered. I think he realized this as well, because he was indeed willing to cooperate with Zeke, if he was given a good enough reason, so I'll give him that. Just as everyone has realized with dread that the enemy wasn't the titans or a single individual (for example, the shifters), but the whole world, he probably has realized the same... 

So, my opinion is that that promise, that he elaborated all by himself, is "outdated", as defeating Zeke was initially meaningful in RtS arc because they thought he was their main and last enemy and after killing him, they would gain the truth and so their freedom back, making the deaths of everyone worth something. But that's not the case anymore. It has just been weighing him down towards a negative path ー that of senseless brutality and death. It could lead him towards a positive goal if he wanted to: saving lives, obtaining freedom (that's what I thought he was fighting for, at the very least?). He decided to follow Erwin because he thought Erwin was facing towards the future, a better one, that Levi couldn't see. Maybe learning of Erwin's truth (that he was fuelled by and stuck in the past, not really facing towards the future) impacted Levi's vision as well. What has he fought and killed for, all this time? Hence why the lack of direction Isayama mentioned. 

If "killing Zeke > learning the truth > being free > the sacrifices have been worth it" was a line of reasoning that made sense and was positive, now it just doesn't. Becoming free is what makes the suffering worth going through, imo.

Basically, him getting stuck on killing Zeke won't make the deaths of his fallen comrades worth it, because Paradis will still be chained, at the mercy of a world that wants them gone, whether Zeke is alive or not (and assuming Eren's plan needs Zeke alive in order for freedom to be obtained, if Zeke is dead, it's just gonna be worse for Paradis). But lots of interactions Levi had with or in correlation to Erwin led him to act violent or towards despairing situations (Levi's squad's death, serumbowl, rage towards Zeke, his outburst at Historia, anger at Erwin pre-RtS, to name a few), so I'm not that surprised, while mentoring the 104th has been a positive experience for him, I think. That's why I think he should actually take this promise and forget about it, reformulate it, or redirect it towards something more useful for the people who are still alive, himself included.

you’d think so, wouldn’t you? but alas, that just makes things more confusing. because it’s a little bit of everything. if i really had to explain it, i’d say it’s a type of perennialism. but not quite perennialism. it’s like a perspectivist take on perennialism. and like i said, there are layers to it. i sometimes joke that i’m a “pagan monotheist” but even that doesn’t really get the point across. 

i believe in an ultimate, impersonal “god.” a god which is simultaneously transcendent and immanent. this god being The Source of everything. it is the Form of the Good. it is the Prime Mover. the All. Brahman. whatever you wanna call it. its name isn’t very important. it is what it is. the source from which existence itself emerges. but i also believe in many “gods” and spirits and angels and demons and all that. as constituent aspects of this one ultimate god. and the universe is a stage for all these forces to play.

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