#it's ugly

This drawing is old ,I did it in March(not much happened)

I uploaded it earlier but I deleted it And now I'm uploading it again

I already changed its design So it doesn't matter

I loved the scene of Caine "becoming human" through raw trial and error. Deep mental illness makes you feel profoundly inhuman as you look at what everyone else can accomplish and do and maintain, but you can't even have a friend.

You don't walk out of it thinking you're a good person. All those shapes that fell, imagine they are people. All the different shapes represent their specific code, their colors represent their temperament. They are all a combination of what they believe and value and what they have been through.

Understanding how those make closed loop systems, what makes a person, helps recognize how you can be a person too.

And that's what healing looks like.

It's also why I am so opposed to this legacy call-out culture online and in fandoms. If something doesn't involve you, mind your business about someone's past. You don't have to like them, or even give them a chance personally. But they DO have the right to move on and have the chance to be someone else to others. Not letting people move on isn't a sign of a good person.

It's the sign of someone who feels like they are bad, so they need to find someone they think is worse to deflect from themselves.

But the BEST part about Caine was the scene with the Moon. He says "I never programmed you to say you love me." And that's what it means when people say no one can love you until you love yourself.

What they did to my most beloved PRIDE and RAGE is still one of the worst things Veilguard subjected me to.

They were unchanged in design since DAO, because they were perfect!

Perfect!

Only the Darkspawn redesign is worse...

I feel like it's the end, were I to ever let something into my heart.

There are a lot of things that have touched my heart.

There is a distinction to be made: I am both vulnerable and guarded.

What an oxymoron I am.

Zosia's body can't consent because she can't say no. Every body used by the Hive can't consent because they simply can't *not* consent. One could even say the Hive itself can't consent, but what weirds me out the most is the thought of Zosia as a former individual, and how violated she could feel if her individuality were to come back. It's the main reason why I hate Koumba, the fact that he was willing to overlook this matter since day one 100% makes him a rapist, at least in my eyes, so I can't completely ignore that Zosia ('s body) can't actually consent to anything they've (she's ?)done with Carol.

However, I also can't entirely blame Carol for giving in and having sex/emulating a relationship with "Zosia" (because it's not actually her, per se, it's the Hive). She's at the lowest point of her life, her addiction is getting worse, the Hive is the only way she can even pretend to have a human connection at the moment, especially because her wife has just died. Not to mention, the Hive weaponizes loneliness against her and initiates the kiss in the hopes of manipulating her and getting her to accept the joining. In a way, Carol's own consent is tampered with because of all these factors. Depriving someone of human connection and dangling it in front of them is torture. Coercing, torturing or manipulating someone in order to get their consent is also rape. Her consent is being violated in multiple ways too, given the situation with the stem cells. (And wasn't she drunk when they first had sex? I can't remember)

Ninjago - Screenshot Redraw WIP

HAPPY 15TH ANNIVERSARY, NINJAGO AND FANS!!! (Zane's fading back there, don't mind him. :^)

When you've been too busy, and lacking too many ideas to work on anything for the anniversary and when you finally have an idea, you're far too sick to really get anywhere with it... Unfortunately, I didn't get to properly finish this, so all I have to show right now is a very rough WIP sketch for a screenshot redraw from the Ninjago pilots.

I'm still sick; though, it is starting to subside a bit, which hopefully means it'll be gone soon. But, due to being ill, I haven't been able to really do much of anything, and this rough sketch right here is about the most I've been able to do all week... Regardless, I still wanted to get something out for Ninjago's 15th anniversary, I'm just disappointed it couldn't be more than the beginning stages of a WIP sketch.