#it'll pass

I might be stupid...

It is incredibly heartbreaking. But we all knew it was coming. And so did Fleabag. Which is why, even with the massive heartbreak, she accepts his decision. She knew he loved God, and no one will come in between that. She knew they could never be together. She had known that from the start. She neither expected nor hoped to be in a relationship. She just wanted to let him know, that she loved him. She wanted to let him know that he was loved. By her. No conditions. No matter what. Which is what makes this scene so heartbreaking.

But I think the most heartbreaking part comes right after:

These four words are enough to break her apart. Fleabag had spent most of her adult life thinking that she was unlovable. And then there comes this man, whom she loved, despite her heartbreak, telling her that he loves her back. Something she almost never hears. And this too is coming from a man, for whom admitting that he loved someone, like romantically loved someone, was a big deal.

And at this point, everything that they have been through, just becomes infinitely more profound. This is the moment, we, the audience and Fleabag, realize, that she was loved. By the man who finds her in moments where she loses herself. By someone who made her feel infinitely better about herself. By the man who made her see life in a brand-new way, who made her see herself with more love. The full realization hits, and that is what makes her (and me) breakdown. She isn't sad because it didn't happen. She mourns, because it did happen. She was loved.

(I don't know if any of this even makes sense)

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