thinking about shane and ilya being parents and how ilya would probably be the “fun parent.”
everyone says it, even before they actually had kids. and shane laughed along, agreeing, not understanding the true implication of it. but once their daughter is old enough and it actually becomes his reality, he no longer feels like laughing.
because he’s the one that has to always put his foot down. ilya is a wonderful parent, a responsible parent, but he struggles to discipline their daughter. ilya takes one look at those big brown eyes and instead of telling her no, says, “go ask your daddy.” so it falls to shane. he has to say no, he has to put her in time out, he has be the one to make her cry.
and how can shane fault ilya? he loves their daughter so much and she loves him right back. and shane knows there’s a part of ilya that is terrified of becoming like his own father, so in attempt to reconcile that, he’s the fun one. plus, it’s not like their daughter is naughty. most of the time shane can have fun with her too, teaching her, reading to her, playing with her.
but one day, when their daughter is six, it comes to a head and she screams, “papa would never tell me no. i hate you” in front of both shane and ilya. and shane freezes. their daughter runs off to her room, crying, and ilya is about to follow her when he realizes that she’s not the only one crying.
shane has slumped to the floor in silent tears and ilya is like, “no, no, sweetheart, she didn’t mean it. she’s just upset.”
and shane has to tell him, “yes, she did. she might not hate me. but you would never tell her no. you never have to. cause i’m always here to do it for you.”
and ilya has to sit with the realization that always being the “fun parent” has left his husband to be the “strict parent,” “the boring parent,” “the mean parent.”
