#isyt

Teaser

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You didn’t know how you were going to fix this mess. You knew that your husband would one day sacrifice his life for the greater good of Soul Society, but it never struck you that it would be so soon. You thought you would come together after having a family and spending your remaining days happily. But life can never be that easy, & you’re well aware of that. 

As you embrace your dying husband in your arms, tears roll down your cheeks as the happiness that the two of you experienced together comes rushing back. How the two of you met in the human world before tragedy struck, how you met him after attending the Shino’o Academy; & how your fates intertwined after he approached you willingly.

The two of you pushed through sickness and hardships well. Although most of your life had him in it, you know that most of his life did not have you in it. But you were happy that most of your life surrounds him. 

As you chose to sacrifice his sacrifice for the Soul King, your Zanpakutos bid you farewell; although that wasn’t the idea you three agreed on, they seemed to agree without your knowledge. Maybe at the expense of the happy memories they chose to take with them, but they left you in Soul Society, just as another Shinigami who could only rely on their Kidou. But, their decision stripped you of your identity, which was your memories and your Zanpakuto abilities, which had stayed with you for as long as you appeared in Soul Society. They were your everything, and now they took themselves & your memory away. 

As you awoke in your husband’s arms, all you could muster was “my head hurts” & a painful sentence for your husband to bear: " Who are you?” You didn’t recall who he was, but saying that sentence made your heart sink when you saw the happiness stripped from his gentle features. 

He tried very hard to remind you, but he never gave up despite your cold approach to him, often shrugging him off. Despite not knowing who he was, you could tell that he cared about you very much. 

With him trying, you also tried. You were grateful that the old you kept a diary of your two’s past interactions. You could tell how much the old you loved him & how much he loved you as well. As years passed & the Konso Reisai was performed on the former Head Captain and Fourth Division captain, so did your memories slowly return. 

It was like a miracle that one day, you just happened to wake up, & your memories came flooding back to you. You were crying in the garden of your humble abode when your husband approached you. You cried into his arms, a mixture of happiness & sadness, apologizing for being so cold yet jubilantly telling him that your memories had returned. 

Your husband wanted to throw a party just for that, but you had to stop him. After all, 

. . .

Life is not a box of chocolate. 

Your fate was predetermined when you met Jushiro, who decided to tell you about Mimihagi & what his job was bearing such an entity in his body.

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The ending was long pre-determined. I considered your idea, Anon. I wrote it & decided that what I wrote prior should still stand. Thank you, though. It was fun to write this bit to ease my heart. Now, the following days would be the true ending. If you want a happy ending, go check out the sequel.

Or like a side hustle - here

A weird switch between Jushiro & Reader's POV

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After the fight ended, everyone made peace with those who had passed except for Jushiro; he was a shell of his former self, unable to move on from losing his wife. He attended the Konso Reisai of his former comrades but didn’t have the heart to participate in much else. As he had stated prior, he recommended Rukia as the captain and locked himself in his Ugendo, rejecting anyone who wanted to visit him. 

While cleaning out the Ugendo as a way to cope with the loss of his partner, he comes across a neatly kept journal that he recognizes to be his wife’s handwriting. Opening it, the first page said, “If you’re reading this, ‘Shiro, I’ve probably passed. This journal was kept in case you couldn’t find closure before you’re eager to follow me. I’d like you to do everything in this journal before you consider following me. I don’t suppose dying is your wish, anyways.” As he flipped to the next page, it was outlined repeatedly, a title that was made sure that he couldn’t miss: Before I die, I will…

Jushiro left a note on the table where he sat with his wife to dine with every night for Shunsui to find. The note said, “Don’t look for me; I’m okay.” 

-`♡´-

Jushiro had requested a Gigai from Kisuke to stay off the radar. Getting money was the hard part of his whole idea. But he managed. The Ukitake clan isn’t just a noble for no reason. He had to find a way to get what he wanted as the eldest son without anyone knowing. And that he did. He spent his days sightseeing with a Polaroid and a journal. 

“‘Before I die, I will…’” Jushiro read aloud, taking a beautiful sunset of a tulip field in Amsterdam; the flowery fragrant washed over him as the soft spring breeze blew past his white locks. He combed through his hair with his hand as he smiled at the small windmill spinning slowly from the breeze. He took the Polaroid picture & pinned it to the first page of the journal. “Lush greenery with spotted pinks, yellows, and reds decorates the fields of Amsterdam, and I can see why you wanted to visit my love; the sunset paired with the spring breeze; I can see you in a white dress and hat, twirling in the fields. You would have loved this place,” Jushiro wrote in the journal. Every night, he had hoped he saw his wife in his dreams, but he didn’t. When he visits the locations in her journal, he can almost hear her laughter as he arrives. 

As he turned away, he could feel a warm breeze embrace him, asking him not to go, but he always shook his head, “I’ve got places to go for my wife.” 

It used to be that whenever he did anything physical, his body would always bail out on him & cause a coughing fit. His wife popped her bankai, gave him her life & took away his illness, too. The only thing that changed was his eye colors. Everyone commented that he had pretty green eyes. But he could never bring himself to look at himself in the mirror. As he hiked the mountains of Colorado, he thought about how his wife always had so much energy. She was always running around for him, running errands, collecting medicine for him; she was never tired afterward. Even after a long day at work, she would be home cooking and cleaning for him to give him the best he deserves. Thinking back, he regretted not telling her that she was doing great. As he reached the summit, he couldn’t be more grateful for his lungs working well. He took a picture from the summit of the mountains, “Before I die, I will hike Colorado. I see why you thought this place was beautiful. The air is fresh, and I feel free & on top of the world. It would have been perfect if I could take a picture of you in your hiking gear, reaching the summit with me.” He wrote down with the polaroid before pinning it to the journal again. 

The cool mountain breeze wiped the sweat off his forehead this time, asking him to stay. But, he shook his head again, “I’ve got places to go for my wife.” 

His wife always told him about the books she had read while she was in the human world, and there was a series she had come across that had been turned into a set of movies. Although she never brought the books back, now that he’s visiting the set of castles in Romania, he couldn’t help but wonder what the books described. He put those books on his reading list as he snapped a picture of the foggy scenery; the heavy fog placed a heavy feeling of mystery in the air. “Before I die, I will see Dracula’s castle in Romania; the condensed water vapor in the humid air gave a sense of mystery as the skies clouded with worry above the pointed roof decorations. The many windows faced towards me, & I can’t help but wonder, ‘did I see someone walking in the hallways of the ancient castle?’” Jushiro wrote down in the journal with the picture pinned in it. 

Forest-green eyes squinted at a window from afar, and a shadowy figure waved in his wife's figure. He rubbed his eyes to refocus, but it was his grief playing tricks on him. A coat hanger around her height stood in one of the rooms. A saddened smile on his face as he whispered, “She would have loved this place, too. But I’ve got places to see for my wife.” 

The smell of a summer breeze tickled his senses as he arrived in Washington state, up a hiking trail to reach the beautiful scenery before him. The reflection of the blue skies on the water with the reflection of sunlight illuminating the crest of the water. The fishes swim around, yet he fails to see a pair of carp. It left him with a smile. As he took a picture, a pair of ducks were swimming side by side. He pinned the image on the journal & wrote, “As I closed my eyes, I can feel my nerves calm by the splashing of the water; with my eyes opened, I can see a pair of ducks swimming side by side. Oh, how I wish that were us, side-by-side, holding hands, as we reach each destination.” 

As he turned away, songbirds flew above him, singing a melody oh so beautiful, but, in his grieving heart, it sounded like a melody of yearning. He shook his head as his mind wondered if he should stay longer, “no, I’ve got places to go for my wife.” 

A massive jump in scenery, from the clear skies of Washington state to the gloomy ones in Edinburgh, Scotland, reflects his crying heart. The urge to step out from underneath his umbrella & to be pelted by the skies. The smell of rain that his wife always said gave her mixed feelings. Sometimes, it reflected the sadness in her heart; other times, it reflected the coming of a new season. “Before I die, I will visit Edinburgh; I heard from the locals that they call it the ‘Athens of the North,’ though I can’t say I’ve been in the human world during that period. But, seeing this scenery, I’m sure it was a place of wonder. The rain makes the roads sparkle with street lights illuminating, kids smiling & laughing, running around joyously without care. Would our family have liked this place if you were by my side?” Jushiro hummed a little, pinning the picture to the journal. 

A few raindrops fell onto his shoulders as he headed to his hotel. It reminded him of the days you were playful, tapping him on the shoulder but acting like it wasn’t you. He laughed a little at the memory, “I can’t stay for long; I’ve got places to go for you, my love.” 

The warmth of the Blue Lagoon shocked Jushiro. The writing in the journal from his wife couldn’t explain what he was saying; it was fogging from the steam of the lagoon. A view that should have been freezing thawed the ice surrounding his heart after his wife had passed away. He snapped a video and a picture on the Polaroid before writing down, “The ice that surrounds my fragile heart thawed at the sight of the lagoon, the warmth charging at me with a warm embrace. I wish I could have visited this place with you when you were still alive.” 

As he turned away, the ripples of the lagoon beckoned him to stay. As much as he wanted to, all he could do was shake his head and respond quietly, “My wife is waiting for me.” 

There were a few more places to go, but he had to rearrange the order of some of the ones on the list, as seasons don’t pass in the order of how it was organized. Jushiro went to a desert in Morocco, traveling with a group of travelers who were there to check off a list as well. But he kept to himself as he rode on the camel’s back. The sand, once smooth, was now thoroughly plowed through by the camel. He took a few pictures of the sand and the line before him. He writes down awkwardly in his journal, “The sand plowed through by the journey ahead of us. I’m grateful that my journey was filled with you. I wish for more, but you must take a step first.” He smiled, realizing that most of the writing before was just him describing the scenery he saw before him. But he wasn’t sure who would read it if he were to follow after his wife. It’s not like they had kids together, and he wasn’t sure anyone else in Gotei 13 would be comfortable reading through these. At one point, the writing turned into desperate pleas for his wife to return to his side. Just because the ice had thawed, it didn’t change how much he still wanted to be by her side. 

As he boarded a flight out of Morocco, the golden sand beckoned where he stayed. But he shook his head once more, “I might be back, I might not. Let’s see where my wife awaits me.” 

When he arrived back in Japan to pick up a few items from Urahara’s store, he was greeted by the shopkeeper, who asked where he was going. It was rare for Kisuke to attempt to converse with him; he’s kept to himself ever since his wife’s passing. Surprised, Jushiro smiled a little, pointing at your handwriting in the journal. “Go to Paris in the Fall. My wife thinks the theme there is romantic, so that’ll be where I’m headed.” 

“What are your plans after you’ve visited everywhere your wife wanted to go?” 

Jushiro blinked a few times, humming thoughtfully, “I haven’t decided. She says, "If at the end of the trip, I still wanted to be with her, then she couldn’t stop me from following her.” He intended to die as well, something that was out of everyone’s control. Jushiro offered a sad smile, “don’t tell anyone, please don’t try to stop me either.” 

Kisuke huffed, nodding at his request. As he turned away to leave, he had to squeeze out one more sentence, “Be careful, and there have been sightings of the Gate to Hell repeatedly opening in Karakura town and the town over; it’s been frequent. But the spiritual pressure near it has been too strong, and it’s nearly impossible to tell what’s happening. The Gotei 13 is worried for you.” 

Jushiro understood the implications; it was because he had died only to be pulled back. Perhaps they were trying to take him back, “Thank you for your warning. I’ll be careful,” with that, he left the shopkeeper. Although what he said did bother him, he didn’t think much about it as he was ready to book a flight and head to the airport, a sudden spike of spiritual pressure-charged at him. 

When Kisuke said it was strong, he didn’t think it would suffocate; it was far more substantial than a captain’s spiritual pressure. He took a few steps before collapsing at the intersection. From the corner of his eye, he recognized a familiar figure with a taller figure, speaking as if the pressure was not affecting them. As he crawled a little closer to confirm his suspicion, he was right. 

The familiar spiritual pressure, although suffocating, was that of his wife. You were standing there, leaning against the wall, dressed in black, talking to the taller man before you. The two of you had a solemn look. As much as he wanted to run up to you and hug you, his body defied his orders. All he could do was watch from afar. He was doing his best to hear what you two were talking about. For all he knew, he was sure you had died in his arms. Why you were in Karakura town with a suffocating amount of spiritual pressure is beyond him. 

“We have to wipe your memory,” the taller man spoke, crossing his arms, “just because you’re a gatekeeper doesn’t mean you can jump in and out of Hell to seek out your husband. He could have moved on for all we know, and you wouldn’t know.” Jushiro wanted to object, and he would never move on from you. He gritted his teeth but could do nothing about it. 

“I think you forgot,” just hearing your voice calmed Jushiro down. It made his feelings of following after your death and waiting for so long all the worth. “This body,” he watched you point to yourself near accusingly, “was forcibly given to me. I cannot permanently stay in Hell; it rots away. It ages far too fast.” As you explained the facts, the man nodded, “Yes, I miss my husband. But, I cannot go against the wishes of the previous owner, who requested that I live for her and find her biological parents. Just because she was young back then doesn’t make it any less of a sin if I went against her wishes now.” Jushiro heard of possession, but he thought that was a thing of the myths. Soul reapers cannot possess a body, yet he didn’t know members of Hell could. 

“We’re still wiping your memory; that way, it would keep your powers in check,” the man said, placing his hand on your forehead. " Do you have any last words?” 

As you were about to talk, Jushiro managed to call your name, enough to catch both your and the man’s attention. "Shiro? Why are you? Your spiritual pressure is too strong, King of Hell,” you responded annoyingly.

The man shook his head lightly. " No, that’s you. I suppressed it before coming here to meet you. That’s why I said we need to wipe your memory. It’s also suffocating to those around you, not that you know it.” 

“Would I–” 

“Yes, you can get your memory back,” the man glanced at Jushiro, who stood back up after a bit. If he can trigger them correctly, you can remember. You’re mighty strong. I was looking forward to you joining the ranks in Hell; I didn’t know she would join in your place instead.” As you were ready to object, and Jushiro was prepared to respond, the King of Hell ended up wiping your memory, leaving the memory of when you came into possession of the body. “Oops, it’s not like you weren’t strong; you just ended up in Soul Society instead of Hell during your first death; that was my bad. The least I can do now is give you a life back in the world of living as you deserve.” 

As your body collapsed from the memory wipe, Jushiro rushed to your side; his embrace around your body was to check if you were alive. Which you were, just passed out from the sudden surge. 

“I’ll be taking her back to her home. Give her a few years. In the meantime, she’s still trying to get her degree. I do recommend you go back to Gotei 13. It would be nice not to be investigated since we have rules. " That gave Jushiro something to do while he waited for you. He nodded, reluctant to let you go, but at the end of the day, his heart calmed down, and he did. 

Watching the man leave with your limp body, he memorized your spiritual pressure and the way you were dressed, all just to find you in the future—his plans of following you after your death were erased. 

“I guess Halloween truly is the day of the dead,” Jushiro spoke quietly, recalling what he had picked up from travelers as he visited places you requested.

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Happy Halloween! I originally wrote something else as a show of power, but this would be better for the spooky season. The sequel will be posted tomorrow, but do know that the story is based on a reader who doesn’t remember Jushiro. Or any knowledge of Soul Society or Hell. It’ll be explained slowly as the story progresses. Think of it as a slow burn.

The epilogue is tomorrow!

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You couldn't look away despite not wanting to witness Jushiro sacrifice himself. You wanted to see him, no matter how he presented himself one last time. As he passed, sadness punched you in the gut, making you more nauseous. You didn’t want to take Jushiro from his two third seats, but they would have plenty of time later. 

They allowed you through because you were his wife. You told them to back away because you wanted some alone time. That was a lie. As they got back to safety, & all of Soul Society was enveloped in darkness, you found the time to pull out your Zanpakutou & place it across Jushiro’s chest as you did your best to hold him up from behind. Resting your head on his head quietly. You watched your Zanpakutou spirits confirm your decision. Without saying anything, they agreed to it. They only said they were sorry they couldn’t do more for you. 

As the darkness enveloped Seireitei, it became more prominent; whatever Mimihagi was, it was harder to defend against anything. That was until the arrival of the man bound to a chair & imprisoned in Muken, Aizen. As he conversed with everyone, you could see that he was watching you; even Shunsui felt terrible when he saw you tightly holding onto Jushiro. 

Shunsui tried to retrieve you before Aizen used Hadou 99 without an incantation, but you smiled at that. As the spell came into effect, before it had affected you or Jushiro’s body, you whispered in your husband’s ear, “Please forgive me.” Your eyes closed before reopening them with determination, “Bankai…” 

When the Kidou spell broke, the captains & lieutenants were struck with surprise as a creamy yellow light enveloped you & Jushiro; the light sprouted in the form of wings from your back, protecting against the Kidou spell; usually, that wasn’t possible, but with how much you’ve trained, the impossible became possible. 

“You achieved Bankai? When!?” You could hear Shunsui question you, but all you could do was smile as color flooded into your line of sight. You felt a burning sensation in your abdomen as it took the two souls growing in your abdomen first.

“I don’t have to bother with an incantation like all you strong people do,” you began to monologue. My Bankai is a one-time use,” you explained as blood began to trickle from your mouth. I call it a resurrection-type Bankai, a life transfer.” Your embrace around your husband’s body tightened more, your hand on his chest checking his vitals. 

“‘Life transfer?’ Does Jushiro know about this?” You saw anger in a colored world for once, anger directed at you; his reiatsu spiked, which earned an airy chuckle from you, “what’s so funny? Do you think exchanging your life is enough to bring him back? For God’s sake, he’s a captain, there’s no way just your–” 

“It’s the transfer of three lives, me & the twins in my stomach,” horror struck the Soul Reapers who watched the scene unfold, “selfish, aren’t I? But I truly cannot live without him. I don’t want the kids to wonder where their father is. Call it pro-choice, if you will.” You laughed a little, but no one seemed to find that funny. Blood began to trickle down your eyes as you rebuilt organs back into Jushiro by using your own. You transferred not only your organs but also your reiatsu & blood, but they were slow, painful transfers. 

“How are you so sure this is going to work?” You understand that Shunsui was upset in place of his best friend, but you felt the energy leave your body, feeling Jushiro’s vitals strengthen. 

“Listen closely,” you whispered, “I only have a bit of energy left to explain,” perhaps you weren’t going to be able to explain it entirely, but you were going to try your best. “Let me tell you the incantation in place of this Bankai if I didn’t have enough reiatsu to replace his,” you smiled. Eyesight was failing you, but you could have sworn that you saw Jushiro’s finger twitch. Your eyes closed as you spoke breathlessly, “‘I command you, in exchange for his life, use mine. I accept my fate; I accept my destiny. I accept the fact that I would be sent to Hell for my family’s sins, for the sins I am going to commit by using this Bankai. Because…’” Your eyes opened, color fading from your sight as white light began flooding into your vision. You felt your husband move to embrace you. It seemed that your bankai did its job, but the fact that you could still talk means that it wasn’t done. “‘...b-because I am going to break Natural Law one last time.’” 

You felt tears drip onto your face. You’ve long lost the feeling in your legs or any directional feelings. All you could feel was that warmth was escaping you, but you felt your husband’s tight embrace around you. His tears flood over your lifeless body. 

Unsure of where anything was, your hearing was gone, & you felt your body devoid of blood, but with what little energy you had left, you raised your hand in the direction of your happiness, to be met by Jushiro pressing your hand against his cheek. You smiled, & with one last breath, you breathed, “I love you & I’m sorry. I-I guess I won’t be seeing you tomorrow…” You trailed off, a last gasp of air before saying, “‘Shiro…” Your energy left your body; perhaps it was because you transferred every last bit of your energy to Jushiro, or your research was wrong. You were not conscious after you took your last breath.

All you recall was the inability to breathe, only to be awoken in a dreamscape. Your two Zanpakutou spirits grinned sheepishly at you in a green meadow field, “do you regret it?” 

That wasn’t their voice. But you smiled, & answered them, “no.” You watched behind you as darkness crept faster toward where you stood. You once ran away from that darkness; this time, you turned & opened your arms to it to embrace it. “Forgive me, but I do not feel like I’ve sinned for breaking Natural Law,” you smiled as the darkness hit you like a truck, “send me to Hell, for I am the sinner that broke the Law; send me to Hell in place of my husband. If you were to ask me if I would do it again knowing I alone would suffer in eternal darkness,” your eyes opened with determination, flickering into a blood red hue, “I would be happy to do it again.”

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Second Battle, return of the Bankais.

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The second battle wasn’t a surprise but caught both of you. As Jushiro was in Mimihagi’s shrine praying, you sat within the shrine to negate sound & set up a barrier so no one would disturb him. It was already lovely enough that Jushiro allowed you to sit in with him because you supposed a shrine is quite a sacred place. 

As the battle took place, the captain's spiritual pressure dropped suddenly. It pained you to know you couldn’t help. You could, but you were about to break a law more significant than the one that bound Soul Society. You’d need all the energy you could save up. 

As Jushiro’s two third seats wanted to notify him of the significant changes in Soul Society, he cleared his throat at you & gave you a sad, pleading smile: " Can you?” 

It was rare for Jushiro to ask you favors; usually, you did them before he had the chance to ask. But not this time; this time, you were too late. Nodding gently, you placed a hand on the hilt of your Zanpakutou, & the other hand pointed at the doorway, “barrier.” 

Jushiro watched quietly when the Zanpakutou emitted a soft, ice-blue glow, & a barrier formed around the shrine, negating any noise & entry from others, “your Zanpakutou abilities are so pretty to look at, y/n.” 

You chuckled at his comment; it wasn’t a lie, but you didn’t precisely expose what your Zanpakutou could do. You kept most of the information to yourself, only exposing it as a supportive type of Zanpakutou; & a need to be offensive if the situation was dire. You didn’t exactly tell anyone that you’ve already achieved Bankai a while back in case of dire situations. 

You watched the landscape of Soul Society, a once beautiful place now painted in pure white. It reminded you of a once joyous place stripped bare of its flesh, leaving a white skeleton behind, almost like arrancars. 

Perhaps you weren’t aware of the time that passed, but Jushiro cleared his throat again to catch your attention, “can you dress me?” He smiled, but you anticipated him to say: <i>one last time</i>? 

You nodded, hurrying to his side to dress him. He usually doesn’t ask you to do things like this; it’s usually done when he yearns for your attention. As you were dressing him, & the battles raged loudly outside, you glanced at him only to see that he was watching you intently. "Shiro...” 

He gently touched your cheeks, pulling you into a loving kiss. Since the battle had begun, the two of you hadn’t kissed since you were so busy trying to figure out a solution for everyone. You leaned into the kiss, gripping his attire; it felt like a goodbye kiss, but it was a goodbye kiss in your eyes. “I love you, & depending on how the battle goes, it seems like I may have to sacrifice myself.” 

You knew well that he was going to say something like that. You even anticipated that. But hearing it still made you nauseous, & Jushiro did feel a sudden drop in your reiatsu from that. Quickly, he moved to hug you, almost as if desperately trying to hold you together, “I– I expected that; I just didn’t expect it to be this soon,” tears welled up in your eyes, burying against his neck. He tensed up when he noticed you were crying, “I thought we could pass together, not amid war.” 

You weren’t crying because he was going to sacrifice himself. You were crying, knowing that he was going to blame himself for what you did. No one but you & your Zanpakutou spirits knew what you planned to do in dire situations, “y/n, I love you, I never want to leave you, but if Soul Society is no more, then our family would be no more, this is something I have to do. I don’t wish it to happen, but, worst case scenario, I want you to be happy, & don’t blame yourself.” 

You nodded a little; it felt like the air from your lungs was sucked out by an unknown force; you choked a little as tears streamed down your face, “I love you too, so don’t blame yourself either, okay?” 

Although Jushiro does not understand what you meant by that, he will soon understand, & he will not be able to keep that promise.

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I ain't even gonna lie, writing these last few chapters stressed me out so much I've been having nightmares & sleepless nights. Only writing that sequel did it ease my stress a little bit. Sorry if you guys have stress & anxiety from reading it too. Not that I feel bad or anything, lol.

In Jushiro's POV, he sacrifices himself. Writing this was traumatic for me. Since this is his POV, what happens next is unknown to him. It will be covered in the next chapter chapter after the next.

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Jushiro felt guilty despite knowing that a day like this was to happen one day; he felt guilty for falling in love. Now, he was going to wound the one person who loved him no matter how sick he was. He kept his wife close by as he greeted those remaining in battle with a smile. Hopefully, nothing was to happen to the Soul King. That way, when the war ended, he could still spend his days happily with his wife & his future kids. 

Perhaps he jinxed himself; the ground, the sky, & the atmosphere around them shook violently after the Vizards appeared to help. As Kisuke announced that the Soul King had died, dread flooded him. Glancing at his wife, who already understood what that look on his face was telling, he watched her tear up once more, & that pierced another thorn into his heart. 

Jushiro placed one last kiss on his beloved wife’s lips before whispering sorry to her; leaving her side was one of the hardest things he had to do all his life while married. This was the time that solidified his sadness as he announced he would take the Soul King’s position, activating the incantation for Mimihagi. 

His eyes were trained on his saddened wife’s stature; seeing her so sad made his resolve waver. But he had already begun the incantation; he couldn’t back out once the ritual had begun. He took the time to explain how Mimihagi came to be, which he had already explained to his wife before this day. 

A splurge of blood pushed out his mouth, but he told everyone to remain calm, as it was just Mimihagi taking his lungs & slowly consuming his organs to do its duty. As he felt his organs being consumed, it was harder & harder to focus; he made sure to announce that Rukia would be named the next captain of the 13th Division after his passing. After that, he could only say, “please, I beg of you, don’t blame yourself, y/n. May you find happiness after my passing; I love you.” 

He didn’t get to see her reaction, but he could probably guess it; it was perhaps pure sadness as black goop pushed out of his eyes, nose, & ears. 

Quite some time passed when everything was pulled out; he recalled his wife telling him once that when someone passes away, their consciousness remains for at least 30 minutes where they can hear everything. He didn’t know what to believe then, but he believes her now. Not that he could tell her that. All he heard were desperate pleas from his 3rd seat. Despite them knowing he was going to pass, it was still traumatic to them.

What he didn’t expect to hear was his wife’s voice. He couldn’t respond to her, but all he could hear from her was, “Please forgive me.”

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Short chapter! I know, I might upload something more light hearted in the next few days.

Renji & Rukia’s arrival to help Ichigo get Orihime back, Jushiro prepping to fight Aizen in Fake Karakura Town.

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After Jushiro confronted Ichigo’s group and told them that Orihime had been taken, you noticed some suspicious movements from Rukia and the Sixth Division Barracks. Still, Jushiro smiled and told you to keep quiet about it. But when the news of Renji and Rukia leaving for Hueco Mundo arrived for your husband, he acted surprised despite knowing what was happening. As the two of you headed home from a long day at work, a Hell Butterfly came in to inform you there would be a meeting in the morning regarding the “Fake Karakura Town” that the Twelfth Division had been working on.

You glanced at your husband, who seemed to know everything was happening. But he smiled, “don’t worry, I’ll tell you what the meeting is about once it’s over, okay, love?” You nodded, fingers entwined together as you two strolled back to the Ugendo.

“Speaking of which, ‘Shiro, why did you act surprised when the Messenger came to deliver news of Rukia-chan and Renji-kun’s departure to join Ichigo-kun’s rescue attempt in Hueco Mundo, even though you knew that they were planning so?” You glanced up at him as the night came around, and it was just the two of you along the path to the Ugendo. 

Jushiro hummed a little, thinking about it as he took his haori off to place around you instead of as the breeze blew by. “That way, there would be less suspicion. The messengers are under the command of the new Central 46, First Division, and Second Division since they also train them for a short period. If I did not act surprised, it would be reported to them, and they would do a tedious investigation. I'd rather not go through disputing that ordeal since I’ve gone through it twice already.” 

“Twice? When was the first and second time?” 

“Your memory fails you, love. The first time was when we first met. I wanted to give up my captain role to be with you, no matter how little you had left, but situational scenarios beat me to give up the role. They did a whole investigation but found nothing because the town and evidence were no more,” you nodded a little as you spotted sadness in your husband’s eyes. You offered his hand a little squeeze, and he squeezed your hand back gently to thank you. “The second time was when I went to offer my help to stop Rukia-chan’s execution,” he paused to see if you recall.

“Oh, was that why you were called into Central 46 the following day?” 

Jushiro nodded.

“It was tedious, but by the time I had been called into Central 46, they were in a huge mess because Aizen slaughtered the previous group. So I decided to help them sort the mess out, and they picked a whole new group that just dismissed my ‘wrongdoings–”

“I don’t think it’s wrong for you to stop the execution of Rukia-chan. She did nothing wrong, and it was a plot by Aizen,” Jushiro sighed as he led you into the Ugendo. You two worked pretty late, catching up on paperwork for the weekend to follow since Jushiro wanted to spend some quality time together with no hindrance of work in hindsight. 

“I agree with that, but destroying the Sokyoku is still an offense; sure, it didn’t take long for them to rebuild it, but it was still a lot of money,” Jushiro laughed; his clan was taxed heavily. You recall looking at its records as you helped them sort it out. 

“Hopefully, something like that doesn’t happen again.”

Jushiro nodded in response. You two spent the evening cooking together before eating and going to bed since he had a morning meeting to attend. Morning came around in the blink of an eye. As you were helping your husband dress, he proposed an idea.

“Why not, instead of my two third-seat officers accompanying me, you come with me and wait until the meeting ends. How does that sound?”

You hummed and nodded but decided to tease him, “You forgot to tell them last night, didn’t you?”

“M-maybe,” you laughed a bit; he followed along as you took an early leisure stroll towards the first division meeting room. You waited with the other lieutenants and stand-in lieutenants. There wasn’t much talk, but you didn’t jump in, even if there was. 

Maybe it was about an hour to two before Jushiro and the rest of the captains left the meeting room; you supported yourself, pushing yourself up from your former meditating position, “training with your Zanpakutou?” You glanced at your husband, smiled, and nodded, “Was it fruitful?” You nodded once more, “Achieved Bankai in that process?” He joked, holding his hand out to you; you took it happily. You grinned at your husband in response, “Oh, you did?” 

“Half of it, at least” was hard to explain; it was simply because your ability was divided into two halves, and doing half was good enough. 

“Want to show me?” He hummed, leading you to the training grounds behind the division barracks. You didn’t let go of his hand, almost as if you were shy. 

“Not particularly; I can’t control the power burst it carries. I don’t want to wound you somehow, ‘Shiro.”

“I can help you; I didn’t become a captain from pity points,” Jushiro teased. You know he’s strong, but you couldn’t shake off the thought when your Zanpakutou spirit repeatedly reiterated that you should only use it when you’re in danger. 

“I–” 

“I know, I won’t force you. There must be a reason why you’re reluctant to show me, and I’ll let you and your Zanpakutou deal with it; I believe in you, love,” Jushiro smiled, lightly kissing your forehead.

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This is so long overdue, so I did write this earlier this year, it's just that school has been tough. Did I pass all three of my classes? No, I failed 1 by 1 point, I'm upset, so I channeled that into writing fanfics. So, expect updates this month.

Heart-to-heart conversation with reader's Zanpakutou during the initial attack from the Wandenreich.

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You were with Jushiro when the first initial attack began. Pillars of light arose from the ground up, & that was what ticked off Jushiro that the battle had begun. The first thing he did was to put you in the safe house within the Ugendo. His priority was to keep you safe, & you understood that. But you also prayed for his safe return, as he said he’d return in one piece. 

You used what you learned to track his reiatsu, finding out that they absorbed the captain’s bankais—four bankais were taken. After that, it was prominent that the captains started to struggle. The most notable one you noticed initially was Rukia’s adopted brother. His reiatsu dwindled & danced on the tightrope. It was hardly noticeable, but he was still alive, just barely.

When Ichigo was announced to be coming to save Soul Society, there was doubt in your heart. Ichigo initially did beat Kuchiki-taichou, but he’s improved over the years; for someone to push the captain to the brink of death isn’t someone that Ichigo can easily win. Not to mention that it’s not just one enemy but a whole hoard of them. 

Worst-case scenarios began popping up in your mind; those you prayed weren’t real. All you could do was anchor down the fact that you could feel Jushiro’s reiatsu. Although he felt stressed, he wasn’t in any danger. 

“Stress is bad for the baby,” you glanced up from your praying position. It was your Zanpakutou spirit that happened to solidify beside you to keep you calm, “he’s not going to be in danger in this battle. But…” he glanced over at you, “you already knew that, isn’t that right? After all, you rushed to achieve bankai without anyone knowing, spiked up your reiatsu, yet hid yourself as one of the weakest soul reapers in Soul Society so no one would be suspicious if something bad happened.” 

You relaxed when your Zanpakutou stated that it wasn’t this battle that caused you this haunting feeling. If not this, then eventually. Perhaps you did prepare correctly, then, "Maybe. Maybe I truly am the manipulator, hm?” 

Your spirit laughed, lying on the ground at that comment: " Are you still planning to go against the Natural Law for your husband if something were to happen?” 

You gave him a sad smile, “yes.” 

“Those who go against the Natural Law get sent to Hell. You won’t be able to escape your fate anymore. You won’t get to stay with him. Are you sure that’s wise?” It sounded like he was trying to convince you not to do it. But you were as stubborn as an ox. 

“Yes, I can’t live without him. I would give him my life because he gave me his & gave me a happy family that I never thought I would be able to achieve,” you continued tracking the reiatsu. Before you could continue talking, you felt the air dry up. This must be the head captain’s bankai. It’s a dangerous bankai, but you could also feel that Jushiro was not in harm’s way, which was good enough for you. 

“You know, if you wanted, you could command me to kill the Quincies. That would also be going against the Natural Law, but you might be able to stay with your husband that way,” your spirit teased, using its reiatsu to block out the suffocating one. 

“But that would make the Ukitake clan come out as a villain; housing such power without telling Central 46 is a crime. He has already stood trial so many times. I don’t wish that on him. Sacrificing myself would be a safer option if anything were to go awry,” you whispered, your hand on your abdomen, “sacrificing our child & I is a sin I’m willing to take. A title I’m willing to bear to Hell..” 

“Child killer? You’d be notorious in Hell!” he laughed, & you laughed a little with him, too. 

“That’s a terrible thing to say, I wouldn’t say ‘child killer.’ But a killer for sure,” you hugged your knees close to your chest when you felt the disappearance of the Head Captain’s reiatsu. A tear streamed down your eyes, “I guess the peacefulness that Jushiro & I prayed for just doesn’t last long enough. The rise of a new era.” 

Your spirit hummed at that comment. Tracking the reiatsu was like watching the battle through a screen. You get detached from the actions & death, but they affect you significantly because these were the people you lived & worked with. 

“It seems like the battle has ended, & your husband is safe,” your spirit hummed, closing its eyes. You’re always surprised that he can solidify in a more humanoid form whenever he pleases, though you weren’t against him doing so. But this is going to be one bloody war. I hope you’re prepared.” 

You couldn’t respond quickly enough; he left on his own free will. You sat in silence, waiting for your husband to return. & return he did, but he seemed exhausted. You saw the stress & exhaustion leave the moment you went over to embrace him, “I’m home… I–” 

“It’s okay. I know a lot has happened,” you whispered. You wanted to help him relax first. 

“I’m just glad you’re safe.”

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