#iswu

Chapter 1. Intro

March 16th, 2018

The lights blind you

you are out of breath

will you be able to perform with a hole in your heart?

you had never felt a pain this hard before

the preassure on your chest keeps getting tighter,

you look down

thousands of fans are waiting for you to start your song

how are you supposed to sing

if your soul is broken?

sadness overtakes your whole body

and you begin,

with tears on your eyes

May 20, 2017. Almost one year before.

Two days until the BBMA’s. You and the rest of your group are promoting your new album, which came out a week ago. It’s the best one yet and it has succeeded a lot, getting to the top of every music chart in the US.

“So, 5 O'clock, it’s been two years since you debuted, but this last year you’ve gained a lot of recognition. Why do you think you’ve become so big in such a short amount of time? I mean, it’s incredible how fast you’ve grown.” Ellen, the host, is sitting on her usual couch sipping tea while you and the members move nervously on the sofa next to her. It’s the first time your band has gone to the Ellen Show, and you were all really looking forward to it. “Also, aren’t you all very young?”

“Well, we honestly have no idea, it just kind of happened” laughs Maria, the leader of the group. She has long straight blonde hair and green eyes, known for dressing posh, her contagious laugh, her shy personality and her optimistic attitude. “And we are not that young, we are on our early 20’s already, although we were 18 and 19 when we debuted. Right now we are just very grateful that our music is reaching so many people.”

“You bet. And believe me, you are still very young. Enjoy it while you can.” Ellen smiles and suddenly turns to you. “y/n, I’ve heard a couple of rumours here and there about you and BTS. I’ll just ask you straight. Do you have a crush on any of the members?”

The audience suddenly starts screaming really hard and you cover your face with your hands, laughing out of embarrassment. Your band posted “behind the scenes” videos once or twice a month, so the fans could get to know you and the members better. The thing is, you had been caught either fangirling about BTS or watching fanmade videos of them, and the shipping wars had began.

God, you thought, this is the worst. Because you did have a huge crush on one of the members, Taehyung.

“Ok, Ellen, I don’t.” You lied, giggling way too much at your words. Claudia was looking at the floor trying not to betray you with her amused face, Maria was staring at you with a small smile, and Claire and Sarah were directly laughing out loud.

“She’s lying Ellen, she does have a crush. More like a major crush, like a "I want to marry him kind of crush”.“ Claire was known for not being able keep her mouth shut at the worst possible situations. She was still your best friend though, the one you trusted to the most.

"Damn it Claire, shut up. There’s no way I’ll say who it is, I don’t want problems with Army.” You laughed and looked at Ellen, asking her with your eyes to drop the subject.

She did, and started talking about your new single and the rest of the album. You felt relieved since you really didn’t want to cause any problems with the fandom, you knew how possessive some of them were of their idols and you wanted to keep your band image clean.