#issuesverse

Leonard was asleep when she got back, but he opened his eyes when she came into the house. “Didn’t know we needed to go to the store,” he said, watching her carry the groceries into the kitchen. “I’d’ve gone, you know.”

“Well, we didn’t need to,” she corrected him. “But wouldn’t it be a good day to make lemonade?”

“If you say so,” he said, shrugging. “Bet Joanna would like to, at least.”

“Mm-hmm,” Jocelyn agreed, and poked her head into the living room. “Where is she? Out in back?”

“’Less she came inside and I missed it,” he said.

“I’ll go get her,” she said, and crossed the kitchen to go out through the back door.

Joanna was lying in the hammock, fast asleep, and when Jocelyn shook her she rolled over without waking up. The second time, she stirred and stretched and nearly fell out of the hammock, which finally jolted her awake.

“Hi, Mama,” she said, rubbing her eyes.

“Hi, Jo,” Jocelyn replied, and kissed the top of her head. “Guess what I brought home?”

“Candy?” Joanna suggested, grabbing Jocelyn’s hand as she followed her mother back to the house.

Jocelyn smiled and shook her head. “Not quite,” she said. “You like lemonade, don’t you, sweetpea?”

“You brung lemonade?” Joanna demanded, beaming.

“Closer,” Jocelyn told her, and laughed. “I brought what we need to make it for ourselves.”

Joanna shrieked. “Make it?” she echoed. Even in the hot weather, she had plenty of energy to jump up and down at that idea. “I wanna make it!”

“Good, you can help me,” Jocelyn said, stepping into the kitchen. “Here, why don’t you carry the lemons and the sugar out onto the porch?”

“’Kay!” she agreed, beaming, and held out her arms to take the ingredients.

They sat on the porch with the big glass pitcher between them, half-full of water, and Jocelyn carefully cut each lemon in two so Joanna could squeeze the juice into the pitcher. She got just as much on her feet and dress and arms, but there were plenty of lemons, and she didn’t mind having sticky fingers.

“Daddy, you wanna help?” she asked when she looked up to see Leonard watching from the doorway. “You can ‘queeze lemons with me!”

He laughed and shook his head at her. “I’m alright, darlin’, I’ll just watch,” he said, and sat down on the doorstep, grinning at the big smile on her face and her giggle when juice ran down her arms to her elbows.

“You wanna mix it while I put the sugar in?” Jocelyn offered, holding up the wooden spoon.

“Yeah!” Joanna agreed, reaching out for the spoon with lemon juice still dripping from her hands. She held it in both fists and stirred the lemonade hard enough that it splashed onto the porch. Jocelyn laughed and shook her head as she measured out sugar and added it to the pitcher, where it dissolved in the whirlpool Joanna was making.

“Now, you keep stirring that while I go get glasses, alright?” Jocelyn asked after she’d added the last tablespoon of sugar. She got to her feet and smoothed out her skirt and waited by the door while Leonard moved aside to let her in.

“You want some lemonade, Daddy?” Joanna asked, putting the spoon down beside her when her arms got tired.

He stood and stretched and found a new seat on the creaky porch swing. “Sure, I’ll have some,” he agreed.

Jocelyn returned with glasses full of ice and lined them all up to pour the lemonade. “No, sweetheart, not yet,” she told Joanna when Jo tried to grab one. Joanna pouted, but Jocelyn didn’t give in until she’d cut up another lemon and added a slice to the edge of each glass. She dipped one finger in the lemonade so she could sprinkle sugar on the rims as well, and then finally handed two glasses to Joanna. “Go give one of those to your dad, alright?”

“Okay!” Joanna said, and for once she was careful not to spill any as she crossed the porch to sit beside Leonard on the swing. He took his glass of lemonade and clinked it against hers before they took their first sweet-sour sips, and Joanna laughed.

there's probably better meta on it than i can write, discussing what about him reads that way (as well as i'm sure the mildly gross implications of a coded-disabled character being written as an alien, etc). so since i won't write it as well as i'm sure it's already been written, i won't go into that. but the fact is -

there are definitely ways in which i identify very strongly with the way he thinks. with his logical mind; with his limited ability to understand how (neurotypical) humans think, despite his incredible intelligence. the galileo seven is the best TOS episode for this i think and it's the first place where i really recognized myself in him, and where i came up with the tag they don't think like you do to describe that.

and i think it could be really interesting in issuesverse, where chekov is autistic - to have a character who is actually disabled and one who shares clear characteristics but is not.

there are a couple of times in TOS when kirk says something to spock that boils down to 'you're becoming more human all the time' and at least once spock responds with 'i see no reason to stand here and be insulted'

and i think in the text that's meant as spock being disparaging towards humans, which he is pretty regularly

but it could also, certainly, be interpreted as: i am still exactly as human as i was when this mission started, and at the academy, and as a child, and the day i was born. i am still half human and i cannot be more or less human and ascribing certain traits, actions, or emotions to "humanity" is inherently insulting. i can have those traits without being human --

and by extension, a human being could lack them without being less human for it. and furthermore having those traits is no more a prerequisite for personhood than it is for humanity, and being human is no more a prerequisite for personhood than it is for having those traits.

but there are plenty of times when something happens during his shift, something that requires a lot more of him than a normal shift. times when he has to respond to a lot of orders in quick succession, when he has to think very quickly and get accurate results from his thought process. times when he has to change what he's doing rapidly and react instantly to sudden stimuli.

and he can do it!! he's okay at it. maybe not great, okay, maybe not perfect. sometimes even if he knows what he has to do he's not able to actually do it without orders. sometimes he makes mistakes, sometimes he gets panicked and freezes up and needs help. but he can do it.

the problem is those situations eat up a lot of energy very quickly, and he's not really used to that. before being on the enterprise, he generally rationed his energy pretty carefully. he would spend it more or less evenly throughout the day, maybe have to forgo doing something fun if his day was stressful, but mostly he made it to the end of the day before running out of fuel.

it's different on the enterprise, when emergencies happen. when they don't it's fine, but when they do he uses up all his energy on that and crashes hard afterwards. if it's bad enough or goes on for a long time, he starts drawing on resources he doesn't really have, and it can really throw him off the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that if it's serious enough. he can do it, but it comes at a pretty high cost sometimes.

he adapts, though. and so does everyone else. he's the only bridge crew member who won't be pulled onto an emergency shift when he isn't scheduled, and kirk schedules him mostly on alpha shift. when things do happen on his shift, he usually gets his next one off; usually if an emergency lasts longer than his scheduled shift he chooses to stay with the rest of the crew until it's over, but kirk or spock make sure to have another navigator on standby in case he needs to go, and to check in with him to make sure he's holding up okay. 

after emergencies mostly he goes back to his room and lies on his bed staring at the ceiling. he tries to eat something if he can - a lot of times when he can't manage going to the mess sulu will bring him something. 

chekov/everyone caring about him and helping him when he needs it