Imagine a park.

Got it? Good.

Now imagine a rotisserie chicken running around in a blue overall jumpsuit that'd make the Pillsbury Doughboy quake.

That lil chicken is me.

Okay so I am was obsessed with swings. So that's were I spent most of my time. And I decided I wanted to go in the baby swings.

Like the one with the leggy holes.

Now before I go into the next part, this is when my autism was at my most intense

(it's not a bad thing tho remember that)

((Also sorry for the awkward word useage I dunno how to explain it))

So I didn't talk in coherent sentences all the time.

Remember that:

Now my mom came over and said it was time to go. Me being the 5yr I was, I started to cry because I didn't wanna go.

But those thoughts didn't exactly come out the right way.

"I can't go!"

My mom came over concerned and tried to get me out but I expanded my legs.

(Don't even ask I dunno how I did it)

So I was getting upset so I kept screaming

"Can't! Can't! Can't!"

You see where this is going?

My mother thought I was stuck.

So my brother tried to get me out, same thing. My dad, same thing.

So I'm screaming at the top of my lungs because I didn't understand that they thought I was hurt.

The cops were called.

When they came over they said they can cut the metal but not the rubber. So they decided to call the fire department and keep me in the swing so I could calm down and not panic. I used to get overwhelmed alot if that makes any sense.

So at this point I'm happy as a clam because my dad is swinging me for like an hour before the firemen show up.

(I think I actually fell asleep while waiting)

Then once they came they cut the metal, not sure why they ended up doing that at all, and then the rubber.

By that time I was sleepy, hungry, and ready to go home.

Now what I didn't know until my father recently told me the story, is the fact that I was on the news and I had a small crowd praying for my speedy recovery.

Apparently everyone thought my legs swelled up due to people rubbing cocaine, or some other drug I don't remember, to the playground pieces.

Was I the victim of cocaine? Probably not.

Did I get an additional 5ish hours of swing time? Yes.

And THAT'S the time I got the most attention.

Not now, not during one of my many shows,

When I was 5 and the spokesperson for how dangerous the playgrounds have become.

Iunno what to do with my hair aaaa (this is a day after washing with no conditioner fwiw buuut)