It was the biggest moment of your academic career. It was the moment that would determine whether or not you graduated and whether or not the last few years of your life was worth it.

Your thesis defense wasn’t until two in the afternoon, but you were wired and awake and already on your first cup of coffee by six. The morning hours were spent pacing around your apartment rehearsing your presentation, even calling your parents and friends on zoom to listen and ask you random defense questions you’d given them. You wanted to be prepared for all scenarios. 

When eleven rolled around, you felt thoroughly confident in your material and presentation, but it didn’t stop the nerves from wreaking havoc on your body. Just one more hour until you’d have to head to campus and stand in front of a committee panel as they tore apart all one hundred and fifty pages of meticulous research and writing and figures. Your advisor said the committee members weren’t intentionally trying to trip you up or fail you, but it wasn’t going to be a walk in the park.

In the middle of dressing for your impending haranguing, the upbeat motivational Lizzo lyrics you blasted through your apartment were cut off by a phone call.

“Hey, superstar,” your boyfriend’s cheery voice greeted you. “You ready for today?”

In the last two weeks, you promptly ignored all messages that came through your phone and inbox that weren’t from your advisor, though you didn’t feel too bad about ignoring Mat since he was on a three week west coast roadie.

“You remembered?” You asked.

“Of course I remembered,” Mat chuckled. “You’ve only been talking about it for months now, and I’m pretty sure you stress-ate all the hidden candy at my apartment.”

“I wish you were here,” you replied with a sigh. “Maybe you could get me to calm down and take some deep breaths because I’m afraid I’m on the verge of going into cardiac arrest. I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday. Unless you count a tub of chocolate frosting.”

“Yeah, I figured,” Mat said. “Which is why there’s lunch waiting for you outside your door right now.”

You brought your phone to the door with you, and sure enough, a bag of takeout from your favorite restaurant sat on the welcome mat with an attached note from your boyfriend.

You’re gonna crush it! You’ve worked so hard, and I believe in you. My baby’s the smartest person in the world. I love you.

“You’re the best boyfriend ever, you know that?” You gushed over the phone.

“I know,” Mat answered cockily, causing you to laugh. Tension released from your shoulders and you forced yourself to take a deep breath while you unloaded the contents of the takeout bag. “I don’t want to keep you too long since I know you’re going to want to run through your presentation one more time, but I love you. You’re gonna knock them all off their feet and then we’re going to celebrate when I get back, okay?”

“Okay.” And when Mat said everything would be okay, you believed him. “I love you too.”

.

“You went shopping?” Mat’s head perked up from the back of the couch when he turned around to see you carrying a few bags.

He knew you almost always brought something back for him, whether it was a shirt that you figured would suit him well or a few of his favorite chocolates. It was only his second day back in New York after visiting his family for two weeks while you were stuck working and couldn’t travel, so he knew he could have expectations.

He looked a little different than the last time he was home, having taken some time to let his beard grow. You had seen the beginning of it before he left, but it was grown enough to look good now.

“Mmh,” You barely answered, walking away into your shared bedroom without another word.

At that, Mat frowned.

You normally always told him what you bought, you showed off new outfits or excitedly rambled about why you absolutely had to get this new book. He pushed himself up from the couch and trailed behind you, knocking on the open door quietly before looking down at the bags.

“Got anything nice?” He forgot about your silence the second he spotted the lingerie brand logo he knew all too well. “Can I look?” Mat reached for it, not waiting for your answer because he was used to you letting him.

“No,” You snatched the bag away from him. “Be patient,”

“But-”

“No buts. You came back late last night when I was tired after work and you were tired from travelling,” You had gone straight to sleep, both of you wanting to cuddle and do more but far too exhausted for it. “So I’m going to cook us something nice for lunch, and then maybe I’ll let you see what’s in that bag,”

“What’s the plan after lunch?” Mat had a feeling he was about to like your answer.

“You can pick whatever you want, as long as it involves no other people and absolutely no clothes,”

Mat ate so fast you almost scolded him for not trying to enjoy what you had spent time preparing a little more. You made something light, knowing you wouldn’t want a stomach full of food when you were about to have sex. You knew he appreciated the efforts, and he definitely loved the food, but he was more excited about what was to come after that. You had changed after cooking, and he was sure you were wearing some new set under the silky blue robe you had loosely tied around your waist before you sat with him.

“I’ll tidy,” Mat took both of your plates to the dishwasher and hurried to put everything away. He gave the counters a quick wipe, knowing you’d tell him off if he didn’t clean properly, and a minute later he was standing in front of you still sitting at the table. “So?” He bit his lip, bouncing on the ball of his feet.

“Someone’s eager,” You pushed your chair back and got up slowly, letting the anticipation build for a little longer.

“Someone’s had to go without touching you for way too long,”

“I know, me too,” You soothed him as you took a few steps closer, setting your hands on his chest and angling your head up for a kiss.

Despite the urgency in Mat’s words, his touches were soft. He liked building things up slowly, teasing until you pleaded and begged for what you needed most.

“Can I take that off now?” He murmured into your mouth, hands at the knot on your waist. You wore this often enough at home that he knew he’d get it undone with one pull, but he still awaited your words.

“Yes, anything you want,” You looked up at him, pupils dilated with lust while Mat took in your words. You did say earlier that he could pick the plans, but this was just the confirmation he had been waiting for to take control.

“Anything I want, eh?” He pulled to undo the knot and took two step backs to admire you. “I don’t know if I want to spend the next hour leaving kisses on every inch of your skin or if I just want to bend you over the kitchen counter and keep you there until your legs can’t hold you up anymore,”

“I can’t handle a lot of teasing,” You let the material fall off your shoulders, watching Mat’s eyes trail over your whole body as you slowly exposed more skin.

“Me neither baby,” He nearly groaned when the material fell to your feet. “Fuck this is pretty, it’s such a shame that I’m about to rip it off you,”

“Don’t rip it,” You protested softly, coming close to him again to feel his warmth. There was a time when you would have been self conscious wearing so little with him fully dressed, but you had grown comfortable around him over the years. “I wanna wear it again,”

“Oh yeah?” His hands found your hips, running over your skin in a way that made you shiver. Mat smiled, he loved watching you react to his touches.

“Mmh, under a pretty dress next time there’s some charity dinner. It’ll be a nice surprise for you at the end of a boring evening,” You could already picture it, you had been in that situation many times before. Mat was sweet, he had patience, but those events weren’t worth the effort, and you had to lift his mood at the end of several nights.

“I like that,” He nodded, leaning down and capturing your lips with his once more.

Warmth flooded through you instantly, getting you to squeeze your legs together as you pressed yourself against Mat’s body. He tightened his grip on you, keeping you there as he deepened the kiss and snuck his knee between your thighs. You whimpered into his mouth quietly at the gesture, it was one of your favourite things.

Mat knew you liked to rub against his thigh whenever you made out, it had always been a thing between you, but it still made you swoon every time he remembered to do that for you.

“Please,” You gasped when his lips travelled to your neck. You needed to catch your breath from the kiss, but Mat didn’t seem to care. He hadn’t gotten to touch you in too long, and he was about to make up for it. It was still relatively early in the afternoon but you both knew this would last until night fell. “Please,” You whimpered again, running your fingers through his hair and tugging lightly as he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot.

“Baby,” He chuckled breathlessly. “What are you begging for? I haven’t even done anything yet,”

“I’ve been thinking of this since you got back, I just really need to come, please,”

“Oh love,” He gently backed you up against the kitchen counter. “By the time I’m done with you, you’ll have ruined that pretty makeup crying because of how sensitive you are,”

“I don’t care, I want it,” You sounded a little whiny, but Mat did always like it when you were desperate for him.

“Mmh, promise you’ll take it all like a good girl? Even when it gets too much?” He traced his thumb over your lips, pulling your bottom lip down and letting it pop back in place.

“I promise Mat,” You gasped a little when his hand made you part your legs.

“Good,” He cupped your pussy and felt you rock against his hand.

You were already overheating, but Mat didn’t hesitate to push your panties to the side and slide two of his fingers inside of you. The moan that left your mouth made his breath hitch in his throat.

“Fuck I missed those moans,” His blood rushed straight south, and he pulled his fingers away with a groan. “Look at you already dripping down my fingers,”

“You feel so good,” You had no idea how he did it, but it never took more than a few touches for you to become a mess.

“C’mere,” Mat cupped the side of your neck to hold your head still as he brought his glistening fingers up to your mouth. You didn’t hesitate to suck them in, cleaning them with your tongue with your eyes still trained on Mat’s. “Gonna make you come,” He slid the hand that was on your neck down your body to your ass. “And then I’m gonna watch you suck on my cock just like that,” His fingers went deeper into your mouth, making you gag.

You didn’t get to say anything back when he removed them, satisfied with how well you were behaving, because he immediately used them to rub over your clit through the fabric of your panties. You caught onto his shoulders to stay up on your feet, biting back another embarrassing moan until two of his fingers found their way into you again.

“You’re so fucking pretty,” Mat mumbled against your skin, his face hidden in your neck as he bit and sucked to leave marks on you. His fingers were doing more than enough for you, curling into your sweet spot and rubbing it over and over again, but you couldn’t help and think of how amazing his lips would feel sucking on your clit rather than your neck.

Just the thought made you clench, and you felt Mat grin against your neck.

He knew exactly what he was doing to you, you had spent countless nights exploring each other until you both learned the best ways to tease and make the other come undone. His fingers curled rhythmically as he moved them in and out of you, the heel of his hand grinding onto your clit.

It was all you’d need and he knew it, his lips on yours muffling your whimpers as he kissed you. There was a type of need in that kiss that came from the distance. Mat never liked spending time away from you, because as much as he could catch up on sex by spending the whole day making you come, he couldn’t catch up on the moments he had missed. He couldn’t catch up on hugging you tight and congratulating you when you got a promotion, he couldn’t catch up on sitting in a bath with you after a stressful day, he couldn’t catch up on making you laugh while acting like a dork in the kitchen and distracting you from cooking.

“Mat,” You whispered against his lips, nails digging into his shoulders.

“I know,” He breathed out against your mouth, giving you one more kiss before he pulled away enough to look at you. “Come on baby,” He sped his fingers up, watching you fall apart and spill all over his fingers.

It was the strongest orgasm you had since he was gone. Nothing you did to yourself could feel as good as Mat’s touch.

He worked you through it despite the way your hips moved and how hard your pussy clenched. If you hadn’t been pressed between him and the counter you would have never been able to stand, and Mat knew that. He pulled his fingers out slowly while you calmed down, falling into his arms while he gently held you to his chest.

“Better?” He asked, watching you nod eagerly. Your mind was still fuzzy from your high and you were blissfully relaxed. “Come over here,” He guided you towards the couch, letting himself fall into it with his thighs spread wide open.

You didn’t need to ask to know he wanted you on your knees.

He pulled his shirt over his head without a word, messing up his hair and somehow making him look even hotter while he let it fall next to him on the couch. You were patiently waiting, looking up at him with your hands in your lap while he shimmied out of his jeans to make it easier for you.

Your lips found his inner thighs first. You started low, close to his knee before you worked your way up the strong muscles and left some purple ovals there to remind him of this for the next few days. Mat leaned back into the couch with a satisfied hum, his head hanging low to watch you.

His cock was very obviously straining against the fabric of his boxers, and you didn’t make him wait much longer before cupping him with your hand, using the other one to caress over his thigh. Mat grunted quietly, licking his lips when you looked up at him and giving you an encouraging little nod.

You obeyed wordlessly, bringing your lips to kiss him over his boxers, working your way up to his waistband. There, you hooked your fingers into it and moved back to pull the material down his legs. His cock stood proudly, waiting for your attention, and Mat slid a cushion to the floor before you could kneel back in between his legs.

“Thanks,” You whispered, lips attached to his inner thigh on a spot you knew was sensitive while your hand gently began to stroke his cock.

A loud exhale fell from his lips, and you followed up with a lick of the underside of his cock from his base to his tip. Mat’s thighs clenched at that, filling you with pride. He affected you easily, but so did you.

Your tongue swirled around his tip, tasting the precum that was leaking from him before you sucked with a hum. Your saliva was slowly making him wetter, allowing you to take more and more of him into your mouth to hear the beautiful moans he could never contain when you went down on him.

You felt a little bold, so you tried to go further to feel him hit the back of your throat, but it only made you gag. You had to pull off for a second, coughing a little before you went right back to his cock.

“Take it easy,” Mat pulled your hair back so that it wouldn’t fall in your face, and he used his gentle grip to guide you. “Just like that baby,” He moaned when you focused on sucking on the head of his cock, moving your tongue around him before bobbing your head and slowly sinking down further.

Praises fell from his lips continuously, accompanied by little moans that increased when you brought your hand to tease his balls and followed by sucking on them too. You could tell he was getting close, you were always good at getting him to the edge fast when you sucked him.

His eyes never left you, they were on your every time you looked up at him, darkened by desire. You were so beautiful like that, always so eager to please, and the enthusiasm you put into you made things ten times better for Mat. He loved hearing how much you liked it, hearing you beg for it, feeling how wet you could get just from sucking him.

“Fuck baby, stop,” He forced himself to groan. He was dangerously close, and he could have finished right there in your mouth, but he wanted your pussy more than that.

The way his hand pulled on your hair turned you on, he was never harsh with it but he always used it to guide you. It reminded you of the night you spent together before he left, your ass up in the air with your chest pressed into the mattress while Mat held your hair to make you arch your back.

You went back to kissing his inner thighs after one last suck, obeying him and waiting to see what he wanted you to do next. Mat spaced out for a second, trying to regain control of himself but getting distracted by how good your mouth felt on him.

“Maty?” You asked quietly, looking up at him and awaiting his instructions. You would gladly take him back into your mouth if that was what he wanted, you just needed his permission to do so.

“C’mere,” He patted his lap and motioned you up, his back resting against the couch while you settled yourself over his thighs. “That’s a very pretty set you got baby, but it’s kind of getting in the way now,” Mat’s hands travelled up your ribs until his thumbs could brush over your nipples through the lace. “I think it’s about time it comes off,” He watched your nod and shook his head lightly. “I want words,”

“Yes,” You replied, reaching behind your back to unhook your bra and let it fall somewhere by the couch.

“God you’re beautiful,” Mat sighed as he took in the sight of your chest, lightly pinching your nipples and rolling them to hear you gasp. You often felt self conscious around him, you never got to work out as much as he did, but his almost constant compliments boosted your confidence.

He was never short of kind words and praises for you, and you returned them as often as you could, whether it was through touches, looks or words. His lips soon followed his fingers, attaching themselves to your chest and littering it with pretty red marks he was sure to spend time admiring for the next few days.

His teeth bit and tugged gently, never stopping until a little whimper had fallen from your lips because of the bit of pain that came with the pinching. You weren’t always in the mood for it, but if the way you rolled your hips against him was any indication, Mat would say today was one of the days he could bite a little harder.

Your panties were completely ruined from the way you were dripping, still wearing them even though they were in the way of everything you wanted to do with Mat.

“These need to fucking go,” He practically growled when he felt the material against his cock. He was done playing, he needed to get rid of anything that was between your bodies.

“Mathew don’t-” You barely had a chance to say anything before his hands were at your sides, grabbing onto the delicate lace and ripping it apart.

You pouted as it fell to the floor, but the hunger in Mat’s eyes was too strong for him to care. He could buy you a new set later to make up for it.

“Come on baby,” He cupped your ass and pulled you onto him, getting your pussy to rub hard against his cock. Your eyes rolled back at the perfect friction you felt on your clit, but you didn’t get a chance to feel it again before Mat lifted you and placed the head of his cock as your entrance.

You sat down on him slightly, feeling him stretch your walls a little while his hands caressed the sides of your thighs and waist.

“You’re so big,” You winced as you moved down, holding him tighter and turning your head to hide it into his neck. No matter how many times you were with him, it always took you a minute to adjust to his size. Mat wasn’t small by any means.

“Come on baby,” He gave your ass a gentle squeeze in response. “You’re almost there,”

“Mmh,” You hummed your assent, slowly sinking down on him further until you were so full of him tears brimmed in your eyes.

“Fuck yes,” He moaned, feeling your ass meet his thighs. “You’re doing so good baby,”

His hands guided you to move slowly, making you roll your hips rather than lift yourself so that he could stay all the way inside of you for a little bit longer. The clenches of your pussy around him made his moans mix with yours, deep sounds that went straight to your core and made you drip over him.

Your bodies were closer than ever, Mat’s chest pressed against yours and your head in his neck while you clutched his back and lifted yourself to give him what you knew he was patiently waiting for. Your nails digged into his back, dragging over his skin and leaving scratches he’d tease you for but secretly loved. He liked leaving hickeys to mark you as his, and he enjoyed being marked as yours just as much.

The whole team knew how well he could fuck you just from the marks they saw on his body when they showered after practice, which earned you a few misplaced winks from Tito whenever he said “easy tiger” as a joke.

“I don’t know how long I can hold on,” You whimpered, lifting your head as well as you could to look into his eyes. Your hips followed a steady rhythm, lifting yourself off his cock and sinking back down fully every time to feel all of him.

It felt so overwhelmingly good that tears began to slowly roll down your cheeks, small whines escaping you every time he pressed against your sweet spot.

“Look at you,” Mat cupped your face, leaning forward to kiss the tears off your cheeks. “Such a good girl fucking yourself on my cock like that,”

“It’s so good Mat, I missed it so much,” You got wordier than usual. He was always the one with the dirty mouth, whispering sinful things to you as a joke at first until he realised how much it turned you on. He had kept on doing it ever since, using it to make you react or to hear you give him the go ahead with anything he might want to try.

“Yeah? Tell me exactly what you missed.” He mouthed at your jaw for a second, giving it a little nip that made your whole body tighten in surprise.

“I missed your cock,” You gasped while he nodded, encouraging you to keep on talking. “Missed you filling me with your cum,” You fell forward against him, nuzzling your face into his neck and pressing your chest to his to feel closer again. Mat’s reaction to your words was loud, and he followed his moan with a newfound grip on your hips to guide you to keep bouncing your ass. You knew you’d have bruises in the shape of his fingers in a few hours.

“Faster,” He ordered you, panting and pulling your hips down hard to accompany his statement.

“I’m so close,” You choked out, barely holding on. The slow start had already gotten you close to the edge, and speeding up had your body trembling with anticipation of a release.

“Don’t stop,” His moan almost made you come right there and his abs clenched while his thighs trembled as he approached his high too. He didn’t want you to come first, he needed a release he could ride out without worrying about making you overly sensitive. He had long plans for the night, but there was only so much your body could handle.

You struggled to keep up with the rhythm he set, whimpering your way through every thrust while Mat grunted into your ear and began lifting his hips to meet your movements. You fell apart right there, unable to stop it any longer, and he followed right after you. He whimpered quietly as he filled you, feeling you squeeze around his throbbing cock rhythmically.

“That’s my good girl,” He breathed out the words he knew you always craved to hear. You’d do just about anything for him to tell you that.

Mat smoothed your hair back, the tenderness coating his movements contrasting with the way he was treating you a second ago. You’d both need time to come down, and he never wanted you to get away from him.

You remained close for several minutes, neither of you wanting to accept you’d have to get up at some point. This was the closest you had been able to get in weeks, you weren’t ready for it to be over yet. You had missed everything about him, but a lot of it was simply his presence.

You had missed getting to hug him every day, his smell on the bed sheets, the lingering scent of his body wash in the bathroom after he showered, the sound of his humming when he made you coffee in the morning, the warmth of his skin when he was cuddled up against you. You could still talk when he was away, but nothing could make up for that.

“Can you move baby?” Mat eventually whispered, hands trailing up and down your spine. He wasn’t too comfortable, and if he was only going to hold you he’d rather just do that in bed.

“Mmh,” You got up on wobbly legs, feeling your wetness and Mat’s cum drip down your thighs.

He noticed too and reached forward to catch it with his fingers before bringing it straight back to your pussy. He cupped you with his whole palm, a strangled noise coming from you while he rubbed against your slick folds gently, mixing your fluids and watching you struggle to keep standing.

“I can’t stand,” You leaned to rest your hands on his shoulders, your chest so close to his face that he couldn’t resist. He sucked one of your hard nipples into his mouth and grazed it with his teeth, chuckling when your knees buckled and you almost fell over him.

“Bedroom, now,” He decided as he pulled away, dropping his hand and carelessly wiping it on his thigh as he got up. You were about to make a mess on the bed anyway, he’d worry about it later.

You fell back on the bed and adjusted a pillow behind your head, smiling without bothering to hide yourself. Mat fell in love all over again at the sight, he didn’t get to admire you much at the start of your relationship, you were too self conscious, but after all the time you had spent together you were now comfortable around him. You still had your insecurities but you never felt the need to hide.

He crawled on top of you slowly, resting enough of his weight on top of you to pin you down while making sure he wouldn’t crush you. Your legs were parted to accommodate him so that you were both settled comfortably with smiles on your faces.

“I love you,” You rubbed your thumb over the back of his neck, craving more affection.

“I love you too,” Mat kissed the tip of your nose. “So much,” He knew you liked him handling you roughly from time to time, but you needed love and reassurance.

You had talked and set limits about what was safe to try a long time ago when you started getting a little kinky together, but it hadn’t been enough. You spent too much time thinking of the physical aspect of things and forgot about the emotional side. Everything Mat did had been discussed, it was all supposed to be okay, but you quickly found out you weren’t into it by how fast you blurted out your safeword one night. You liked him being dominant, yes, but you didn’t like feeling used.

Mat was too freaked out to try again for a while, he had done no harm but he was scared he would, so he put a stop to it for some months.

It took more talks and fine tuning to get back into playing like that. All you needed was his reassurance, so you both switched things up to a dynamic that had to do with praise and made sure to take time in between rough moments for softer ones.

Mat was always careful, he knew he’d be pushing your limits tonight and he needed to make sure he could do that safely. Giving you kisses and repeating how much he loved you was his way of making sure you’d feel safe and relaxed.

You knew he’d never hurt you, and that he’d never let you feel self conscious about a single thing.

Your hand moved from the back of his neck to his face while you observed him, committing this image to your memory. He looked different than when he left. He was just as pretty, but the beard changed his face and you had been waiting so see what it’d be like in person.

“You like the beard baby?” He smiled softly, watching the way your eyes took him in.

“It feels different,” You let your knuckles run over his cheek, feeling how rough it was from the usual soft shaven skin or light stubble.

“Good or bad different?”

“Good, but I don’t know if it’s better than usual. You look beautiful either way,” You were getting lost in his eyes, your body blissfully relaxed against the mattress now that he had helped you calm down.

“How about,” Mat paused for a second to place a kiss on your palm. “You let me know how it feels against your thighs and pussy, mmh?” Your eyes widened at his words, and he watched the way your lips parted slightly. “You want that baby?”

His eyes looked so innocent, so soft and gentle, and it only made his words more powerful. You were already about to explode just from the way he talked, you’d last absolutely no time with his mouth on you.

“Yes,” You managed to whisper loud enough that it reached his ears, and Mat wasted no time.

His lips fell to your neck to add marks to the collection that was already blooming on your skin. He was all too aware of the kind of moans he was sometimes about to pull out of you just from that, and he wanted to hear them. Your fingers found purchase in his hair, threading through the strands and gently guiding his head down to your collarbone to get him towards the place you actually needed him.

Mat caught on easily, smiling against your skin and spending a little less time on your chest than he normally would to focus on trailing down to your inner thighs instead. He could spend hours kissing, licking and nipping at your sides until you writhed underneath him, but it would only make you too impatient.

The sight of his head between your legs was enough teasing for you already. No matter how much you enjoyed the shivers that ran down your spine when Mat kissed the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, nothing beat the actual waves of pleasure that crashed over your body when he sucked on your clit, and you were desperate for him to do just that.

His mouth hovered over your pussy for a second, letting you feel the warmth of his breath while he looked up at you. You were staring at the ceiling, chest rising and falling fast in anticipation. Mat almost moaned knowing he was the one who put you in that state. Instead, he pressed a kiss to your folds and let his tongue come out to lap at your wetness.

He hummed against you and made you shiver before moving your legs to let you rest your heels against his back. Your knees remained spread wide open, letting him access any part of you he wanted. Mat was a little busy to actually see you, but all he could think as he smothered his face in you was that you were the most beautiful woman in the world.

“Let me hear you baby,” He lifted his head and rested his palm flat on your stomach in anticipation of having to keep you down. “Don’t hold back, I wanna know how good it feels,”

You looked down to meet his eyes when you saw he wasn’t doing anything, and he gave you a soft smile that had nothing to do on his face in a position like this one. His lips parted around your clit, his tongue gently teasing it while he kept the eye contact going. He gave you a tentative suck, earning a quiet moan from you that filled him with satisfaction.

“Good girl,” He mumbled into your pussy before his eyes fell shut and he truly dove in.

Your head fell back and you were thrashing in his arms a second later, unable to keep your hips still and fisting the bed sheets tightly in your hands in hope of anchoring yourself. He was alternating broad licks and sucks with tiny kitten licks that made you squirm, but you only really lost it when he pushed two fingers inside of you.

The wet noises that were coming from his mouth and your pussy were sinful, as were your moans that spurred him on to devour you until you couldn’t think anymore. Mat was eating you out like it was the last time and his fingers curling against your sweet spot had your muscles quivering with pleasure.

“You like that baby?” He barely came up for air, face glistening with your wetness, but you couldn’t even think of letting him have a break.

“Don’t stop,” You whined, a hand flying to his hair and pushing him back down. He made a startled noise but didn’t object, diving right back in with his tongue out to lick over the most sensitive parts of you. “I’m so close, you’re doing so good just please, please don’t stop,”

Your back arched off the bed as he picked up the speed with his fingers, eagerly sucking and flattening his tongue over your clit the way he knew drove you absolutely mad. Mat loved pleasing you, and if you weren’t currently pushing his face down he’d lift it to tell you how much he wanted you to come on his fingers and tongue. You were seconds away from it either way, he could tell from how hard he had to hold you to force you to keep your legs open.

His one arm could only do so much when his other fingers were buried deep inside of your pussy, and you tried your best not to tighten your legs around his head too much when your orgasm hit you. It made your whole body go tight, your walls squeezing so hard around his fingers that he struggled to keep moving them to ride you through it. He moaned in unison with you, proud of himself when he felt the way your body reacted to him.

His tongue moved on you slowly when you began to whimper, breathing slower and letting your legs fall down on the mattress. He tried to avoid your clit, only lapping up your wetness to clean you up although he couldn’t resist teasing it a little just to hear the cute overstimulated noises you were making.

You came down with a blissed out smile on your face, threading your fingers through Mat’s hair and massaging his scalp with the little strength you had left.

“Satisfied?” He rested his head on your thigh, looking up at you with a smirk.

“Mmh,” Your mind was too foggy for you to form many words. “Almost,”

“Almost?” He couldn’t believe it, thinking you would have at least needed a break before you asked for another round.

“Can’t be satisfied until you are,” You nodded, referring to the way he had subconsciously been rutting his hips against the mattress while eating you out to get something out of it.

Mat bit hip lip, wondering how much more you’d be able to handle. You would have said it if you needed some time, but you sounded like you were already waiting for him to fuck you again. He had plans for it, positions he wanted you into because he knew it made him hit you at the perfect angle, but he needed you to be able to hold yourself up.

So, instead of giving in to what you both craved, he got up from the bed and went to retrieve two water bottles from the fridge. It would give you just enough of a break to get ready for what he had left in store.

You both knew the day was still far from over.

.

And as much as you hated to admit it, Mat only made it worse. Being with Mat only made it worse. It was bad enough before you were his girlfriend, but now that you were officially public, it was exponentially worse.

The doom scrolling was the worst part of it all. You were so wrapped up in the toxicity of it all and couldn’t let it go. For hours you’d sit on Instagram, scrolling through the comments on his posts of you. Even if the positive comments outweighed the negative ones, you could only focus on every criticism of you. How you weren’t the typical WAG standard, how Mat must be cheating on you, how much better he could do.

Then came his tag posts, which were sometimes filled with vapid remarks about his alleged hookups or hateful judgements of your profile. Not to mention all the women he still followed that were stick thin and blonde and clearly got paid just to post bikini photos. You weren’t one to be bitter and misogynistic, but it was hard when everywhere you looked there were reminders of every beautiful ex Mat had or how ugly you were next to him.

It was all consuming and to the point where you just couldn’t handle it anymore. Like physically, you feared this comparison and criticism of yourself would be the death of you.

Realistically, you knew there was only one solution to this problem.

“We need to break up.”

Mat could not have been more blindsided by your words, his whole body coming to a dramatic halt at your blunt words. He was in the middle of making a sandwich for god’s sake. “Is this a joke?” Never in a million years would Mat have expected you to spring this on him.

“No,” you stated. “I think we should break up.”

The silence felt like it lasted hours while Mat’s brain tried to catch up with what you were saying. It was out of the blue and made no sense, and Mat still half believed you were just fucking with him.

“Why would we break up? Is there something wrong with us?” If he weren’t so genuinely confused by your outburst, he might be mad, but he was just lost. As far as he was concerned, you two were solid. Nothing big had happened to warrant a fight, let alone a breakup. “What’s going on, babe?”

“I just can’t do this anymore. I hate what I’ve become, and I can’t stand being like this, Mat,” you explained, which only confused him even more.

“What the hell are you even talking about? What can’t you do anymore? What’s wrong?” He walked to you in two long strides, enveloping your face in his hands while he scanned it for something. Anything.

“I can’t do being your girlfriend anymore,” you said. “All the comments and trolls and you being the literal hottest man to ever grace hockey while I’m just some girl.”

“Woah, where is this coming from? Who said this? Where are you getting this?” His questions came out at double speed, real fear setting in now that you might actually leave him.

“Instagram, twitter, those stupid blogs, I’m tired of it all, Mat.” Your voice broke on his name.

“When did all of this start?” He asked.

Mat never spent much time on social media anymore except to post something then log off, and you were sure he somehow had notifications set so only his friends showed up in his mentions. Of course he wouldn’t be focusing on all the bullshit they were saying about you.

“The day we met,” you snorted humorlessly. “We’ve been dating publicly for months now, and they’ve never slowed down. They’re never going to stop. As long as I’m with you, I’m always going to be hearing this shit and comparing myself to other girls.”

“As long as you’re with me?” The anger was starting to hit now. “I’m sorry, but am I missing the part where this is my fault? Have I ever made you feel like this? It shouldn’t matter what other people think. They’re all spineless assholes who have nothing better to do with their time but tweet insulting shit. I think you’re amazing and wonderful and hot and sexy and incredible. Doesn’t me loving you count for something?”

“Of course it does, Mat. And I love you, but this shit never stops. You don’t get it. You don’t get what it’s like to look at every single woman and wonder if you’d be more attracted to them than you are to me. To wonder if you’re just waiting until you find something better.” And he didn’t get it. Not when he looked like that and had all that money and fame and success. He would always be too good for you.

“Jesus Christ.” Mat’s heart broke at your confession. “How long have you been feeling like this?”

It was painful to hear about your insecurities, and that was the reason you never brought it up. It wasn’t Mat’s job to reassure you every time you were feeling down, especially when your bad days greatly outnumbered your good days. You felt like a burden when you told Mat about your problems.

You shrugged. “A long time.”

“And you really think breaking up will solve this?”

“It can’t make it any worse.”

Mat rethought his strategy. He clearly wasn’t letting you call off nearly a year-long relationship over something you hadn’t discussed more than just this one time, but it was also clear your mind was made up.

“Okay, well, I’ll just delete my Instagram then,” Mat said casually. So casually your eyes snapped up to his.

“What? No. You can’t do that,” you said defensively.

“If it’s the only way I can keep you then yes, I can,” he shrugged.

“Mat, don’t be stupid,” you scoffed, pushing him away with a hand though he wouldn’t budge.

“If anyone’s being stupid here it’s you,” he said without hesitation. “If you think I’m letting you breakup with me having not even discussed this with me, you’re insane. Clearly, this has all been taking a toll on you, and you won’t even tell me about it so we can handle it as a team.”

“There’s nothing to handle. I’ve already figured it out.”

“Totally.” Mat nodded. “You know that in a relationship we handle things together, right?”

And maybe he had a point, but this wasn’t his battle to fight. It’s not like he was the one whose self esteem had taken drastic hits.

“I just don’t see how this can work out when I’m constantly thinking about how awful I feel or look,” you said.

“Well, I can tell you how we can work this out,” Mat replied confidently. “First, you tell me when things get bad like this so you don’t have to be alone. Second, I will tell every single bastard online to fuck off if you want. Third, we both take a step back from social media. No name searching or doom scrolling or even posting, if that’s what you want.”

“It won’t work, Mat.” You tried the whole ‘taking a step back’ and ignoring shit. It doesn’t work.

“Have you tried it with me?” You shook your head. “We’ll spend our evenings learning new hobbies like it’s the 1800s or something. You can teach me how to crochet or bake bread. We’ll start new shows and explore the city doing stuff we never thought we’d do. We can go to every single bagel place in New York and rank them.”

“That’ll take years.” You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out.

Mat continued on, a smile tugging at his own lips. “We’ll go on vacations to the most remote places in the world with no cell reception. We’ll take pictures on polaroids and disposables like old people so that the only pictures we have are just for us. We’ll buy a house in the woods where we can go to escape whenever we think it’s all too much. When I retire we’ll move to the most secluded small town in Canada and put all of our efforts into starting a small business. There are so many things we haven’t tried yet.”

It all sounded so beautiful coming from Mat, and you couldn’t fight the smile that crept across your face as he listed off a million things for you to do. “You’re planning quite a far way into the future.”

“That’s because you are my future. I love you, and I want this to work. Your bad days are my bad days, and we should be handling this together. Like a team,” Mat said.

“We’re not qualified to start a small business,” you remarked, and he scoffed.

“Then we’ll both go to business school,” he teased. “We have years to plan that out.”

You knew he was joking about half the things he listed, but the fact that they were mostly all plausible options had you pausing to consider.

“Just give it a chance for us to work this out,” Mat pleaded.

And maybe it was the thought of hiking through South American mountains miles away from civilization or the thought of settling down with Mat in a home with your possible future children or the fact that you just loved Mat with all your heart, plain and simple, but you nodded in agreement.

You’re the beauty, she’s the brains, your kids will be all set in the future.

You could have any guy you want, Y/N. Why’d you settle for a little playboy like him?

Must be nice to always be the smartest person in the room, huh, Y/N?

I don’t know how you put up with him all the time, Y/N.

How’d you get Mat to give up his playboy life?

Those were the comments Mat heard all the time. From your family, your friends, his teammates, he’d heard them all. Mat never claimed to be a saint, but the remarks always rubbed him the wrong way. There wasn’t one moment in your relationship where he’d been unfaithful to you or even thought about straying, and everyone always made it seem like it was the biggest sacrifice for him. Like you weren’t completely worth giving up casual hookups for.

It annoyed Mat how they’d so easily disregard your relationship and, in turn, disrespect you. Still, those comments didn’t annoy him as much as the ones that claimed you were too good for him. Which Mat knew, but he hated the feeling of doubting you. He knew you’d never leave him for something as superficial as a steady job that didn’t include traveling for half the year, but the thoughts consumed him.

“What are you thinking about over there, pretty boy?”

Mat’s train of thought was cut off by your voice, and your hand stilled in his hair. You were currently in the middle of watching a movie and laying down on the couch, but Mat had checked out a while ago. Normally, the nickname ‘pretty boy’ irritated him, mainly because others used it to poke fun at him, but he knew you never meant it with malicious intent.

“Nothing,” he mumbles against your chest.

“Come on, you know I know you better than that,” you pushed. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I just—” he starts. “Does it bother you how everyone calls me a playboy?”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “No,” you state without hesitation. “What are you trying to say, Mat?”

“Everyone always says how you’re too good for me, and it bothers me,” Mat admitted. “But I can’t help but think they’re right. You are too good for me. You’re smart and educated and have hobbies and interests and have a whole career ahead of you… What happens when my career is over in ten years? Fifteen years? And I have nothing to fall back on, and you’re stuck with me?”

“Mat,” you say with a frown, tilting his head back so he’s forced to look at you. He tries to avoid your gaze. “Hey, look at me.” You cup his face in one hand.

“It doesn’t bother me that you have a past, Mat. With the way you look, it’s impossible to not have a past, and I don’t care. What other people say doesn’t get to me because I trust you wholeheartedly, and I know you’d never do something to intentionally hurt me,” you replied. “As for the second part of that, whether your career lasts one more year or five or fifteen, I’m still going to be here. You’re so much more than just hockey even if you don’t think so, and you’re so much more to me. I love you, Mat. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You’re sure it doesn’t bother you?” You nodded your affirmation.

“I didn’t think it bothered you, but I wish you would’ve told me,” you said. “I would’ve yelled at all of them to go fuck off.”

Mat fell silent, letting his head drop back down to rest on you.

“Just so you know, you’re not the only one with doubts either,” you continued. “I think the same thing sometimes too.”

That caught his attention. “What do you mean?”

“I know your past, Mat, and while it doesn’t bother me, it’s still there,” you explained. “I know I’m not your type. I know every girl you’ve been with before me looks nothing like me. Your exes were all gorgeous. Hell, your whole roster’s gorgeous, and I know I can’t compete in that department. We both know you could have any instagram model you want, so trust me when I say I think about it too.”

“I don’t want anyone else. I only want you,” he said. “I don’t care about any other woman remotely interested in me. Past, present, or future.”

“I know, which is why I’m able to brush it off,” you smile. “Because I love you and trust you and know you love me.”

“Good, because I do love you. A lot. Like, so much it makes my head spin sometimes,” he said, returning your smile.

“And I love you so much it makes my stomach do flips,” you add. “Have I put all your doubts to rest yet?”

“I don’t know, I think I might need a kiss or two to really seal it,” Mat teases, causing you to tug lightly on his hair in retaliation and roll your eyes.

“You’re insufferable.”

“I know.”

You’re both grinning like idiots when you lean down to kiss him, and he even playfully bites your lip to pull a gasp from you. Mat doesn’t miss a beat, parting your lips with his tongue, sweetly deepening the kiss.

“I love you.” It comes out muffled against your mouth.

The feeling nagged at the back of Mat’s mind, subtle and quiet, a distant voice telling him he was in love with you even if his brain hadn’t completely registered it yet. Your relationship was comfortable. You moved around each other with an ease Mat had never known, as if you’d spent years together and now lived in routines that revolved around the other. He hadn’t even processed how used to being around you he’d gotten until your first summer apart had hit.

He thought about you all the time, wondering whether or not you’d like the outfit he chose when he went out with friends, whether you’d enjoy his mom’s cooking, whether you were thinking about him all the way back in New York when he was in Coquitlam.

By the time fall came back around, he was ready to ask you to move in even if neither of you had said those words yet. Mat just missed you all the time. It didn’t matter how much time you spent apart, he was counting the hours until he saw you again.

It was only when the two of you packed your bags and climbed into his car, ready for a weekend road trip upstate that the overwhelming feeling of how much he loved you hit him. You chose to drive, knowing Mat’s proclivities for driving a little too fast would’ve made you insane during the four hour ride to the secluded cabin he rented. In turn, he got to choose the music, though you made him compromise that he’d split the time between both of your spotifys.

Yours and Mat’s music taste didn’t always mesh well, and while he knew your account and followed it, he never delved into the playlists you curated. At the two hour mark, he unlocked your phone and scrolled through your account, clicking through a few playlists as he tried to find one that he wouldn’t completely hate.

He came across one titled happiness, the playlist photo piquing his curiosity. It was a little further down the list, about halfway through your nearly twenty playlists, and he recognized the picture as his own head. There were no discernible features, only his hair as his head rested on your chest and your fingers curled in the strands, but Mat knew it was him.

One by one, he read over each song in the playlist. The theme seemed all over the place, ranging from slow songs to upbeat pop to hip-hop, and his curiosity got the best of him.

“Babe, what’s this playlist?” He asked, stretching your phone so you could check the screen. You only took a brief glance, noticing the title immediately and shifting your focus back to the road.

“Oh, it’s just a bunch of songs that remind me of you,” you answered with an apathetic shrug. You added the first song a week after you met Mat after your first date when you knew that you wouldn’t be letting him go any time soon.

Mat furrowed his brows, not quite sure what Christmas Eve by Kelly Clarkson or Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye had to do with him, but he pressed shuffle anyways.

The first song that came on was Flightless Bird, American Mouth, and Mat vaguely remembered hearing this before.

“Why’s this one on it?” He asked.

“Remember when I made you watch Twilight even though you complained the entire time? You said you thought this song sounded nice, so I added it,” you explained.

“And Bloom?” Mat questioned, finding another song title he didn’t know.

“It was a song that played in the cafe during our first date.”

“Shoop?”

“That one night we stayed up until three baking brownies because we were drunk and hungry, we sang it, like, four times dancing in the kitchen,” you said.

It turned out every song on the playlist had some underlying meaning as to why you added it. There was the song you first slow danced to at a teammate’s wedding, the song you chose to karaoke to once at a bar, the song Mat always played first thing upon turning on his car for a couple weeks whenever he drove anywhere, songs he found himself singing under his breath while not realizing you were listening, his favorite Taylor Swift songs even though he would publicly claim he didn’t listen to her, songs he went crazy for every time they played in clubs. Every song had a story.

Mat didn’t ask you for the explanation for each one, not wanting to annoy you with his many questions, but he connected the dots soon enough after you told him Green Light by Lorde was on there because of how many times you and Mat had watched through New Girl, but more specifically, the scene where Nick and Jess finally get together.

A few sparked memories in his own head, the Khalid songs you made him listen to the one time you convinced him to get high with you, the Kendrick songs he swore were the best rap songs ever made, even a few Bieber songs you found more tolerable than others since you weren’t a fan of him but Mat was.

The playlist was nearing fifty songs, all recounting moments in your relationship over the past year, and Mat’s chest tightened in a way he’d never felt before.

He was in love with you.

You didn’t even bat an eye explaining the meaning of each song, every story fresh in your mind and you told him each one without hesitation. Had it not been for your eyes on the road, you probably would’ve noticed the tears welling in his eyes, though he quickly brushed them away.

His heart was so full of love for you, how you paid attention to every detail, and there was no doubt in his mind he was in love.

“You good?” You glanced over quickly, curious as to why he was quiet all of a sudden.

“Yeah, I’m good.” He cleared his throat.

“I love you.”

That caught your attention immediately, and you looked back at him, your own eyebrows slightly drawn together in confusion as the outburst.

“Yeah?” You asked. The words had been on the tip of your tongue for so long you could probably trace it back to the first time you met him, but you kept it to yourself. Mat was always cautious with his words, never wanting to say anything he didn’t fully believe, and you didn’t want to scare him off saying it too early.

“Yeah,” he replied confidently. Grabbing the hand resting on the gearshift, he intertwined your fingers and brought it to his lips. “I love you." Gently, Mat kissed your knuckles.

Your own heart felt like bursting at the soft look on his face. “I love you too.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured that,” he chuckled, wide grins spreading across both of your faces.

For instance, when you brought him along with you and sent him on a mission to get Anthony’s gift (a new set of kitchen knives and pans for his new apartment), he ended up in the home decor section rifling through hideous wall art.

“Mat, our apartment is already decorated,” you reprimanded him after you scoured the entire kitchen section to no avail. He hadn’t even made it to the kitchen part of the store.

“But these look so cool!” He said defensively.

“No they don’t. Now let’s keep moving.”

Then he wandered off in the jewelry store as you searched for a gift for your mother, and you found him two stores over in the candy shop filling a plastic bag of loose gummy sharks. After that, you had to hold his hand as you dragged him through the Apple store to buy his father a new iPad, but he managed to disappear again after you left to try on some on sale jeans.

At that point you decided to let him wander wherever he wanted while you continued crossing items off your to-buy list. You figured he’d end up in the food court with some cinnamon pretzels after buying another pair of ugly shoes that cost way too much money, but hey, it was his paycheck.

The last place you did expect to find him was in Bath and Body Works in deep conversation with a worker with two candles in his hands.

“So if I buy three of these, I get three for free?” Mat asked in wonder, and the bored retail associate nodded her head. She’d probably answered that question more than ten times today.

“Sorry about him, he’s never been in public before,” you interrupted kindly, placing a hand on Mat’s arm. “I’ll take him off your hands.” She nodded and turned away, eager to help someone else.

“Babe, oh my god, I love this place,” Mat exclaimed. “Smell this candle, it’s amazing.”

“I know, Mat, I have three at home,” you sighed, sniffing the winter-themed candle he held in front of your nose. “Why do you think our place always smells good and not like your dirty socks?”

“That’s what that is? Oh.” A look of genuine surprise crossed his face. “Do you think Liana would like some? If we buy three, we get another three for free.”

“Sure, but that means we’re going to have to find six different candle scents.” And now Mat was caught in another internal dilemma.

“Well how the hell are we supposed to choose only six? They’re all so good,” he said, glancing around the store with displays stacked high with various candles.

“Aw, babe,” you cooed, patting his cheek softly. “Life is so hard, huh?”

“Don’t make fun of me, this is cool!” He pouted, real offense laced in his tone.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized, a small smirk tugging at your lips. “We’ll have to put this one back because I already own it.” You took one candle from his hands and set it back down.

Mat’s ears perked up like a happy puppy that had just been given a treat at your acquiescence, and he pulled you to the tree display full of Christmas scented candles. He grabbed a basket to carry the candles you collected during the next fifteen minutes, scrunching his nose in disgust at ones that smelled too sweet and asking for a second opinion from you when he was unsure. You’d never seen someone so happy to be in a candle shop, bouncing from candle to candle and treating candle picking like it was a lost art and the most important decision he would make for the entire holiday season when he’d put zero thought into the gift he got for his best friend. Honestly, you were the one who compiled the entire gift list. Still, it was amusing to watch him choose his favorite scents, a light in his eyes after he made his final selection.

physical touch

this one is more of what he does to show you he cares about you

but mat is very comfortable and confident with himself, he does not care who is looking at him at any given moment

and the same goes for pda in general, mat doesn’t care who sees

in public or in private, he’s always gravitating towards you

he loves touching you, it’s comforting for him to have you near

so he’s always got an arm around your shoulders or holding your hand or keeping his hands on your waist

BIG hands on your waist guy

like standing behind you in public in lines or in crowded bars or even just shopping together, he loves standing a little bit behind you and just rests his hands on your hips and cradles your ass back into his body slightly

sometimes you have to slap his hands away if he tries moving them a little lower

is not shy with kisses or hugs

definitely will pout and bother you if you’re busy and he wants attention

not above moving your body into uncomfortable positions so he can get close to you and you have to inevitably give him attention

like if you’re on the couch reading a book he will absolutely crawl on top of you and sneak his head underneath your arms until his hair is in your face and he’s blocking your view

needy and whiny if he doesn’t get enough attention

definitely gets upset on long roadies bc he’s away from you 

literally like five minutes of cuddling with you improves his mood

also just in general, if he’s sad or upset or whatever negative emotions he’s carrying just dissipates when you stroke his hair or give him kisses

he’s an absolute sucker for back scratches and head massages too

but back to barzy in public

everyone gets sick of how touchy y’all are

mat always has to be near you and he’s kissing you sporadically throughout the night

mat doesn’t think anything of it or if he’s making anyone uncomfortable (they’re all used to it by now though) he just cares about you

he honestly doesn’t know or care if anyone’s ever watching y’all he kinda just exists in his own little world when you’re together

but everyone also thinks it’s adorable bc it’s like the honeymoon phase that never ends bc mat is so touchy always

words of affirmation

now this one is more of what he likes to receive

like it’s a solid 50/50 split between physical touch and words of affirmation I think for barz

we all know the boy has a big ego

like biiiigggg ego

like massive ego

he’s hot and he knows it and he’s great at hockey and he knows it

but that doesn’t mean he ever tires of it

especially when it comes from you

mat is used to the guys hyping him up after good games and also chirping him to keep him in check but it means so much more when it comes from you

like after good games mat gets so fucking giddy bc 1) he just did amazing and 2) he knows you’re at home to congratulate him after

whether it’s with sex or just like bouncing off the walls excited and treating yourself to a night in with some fancy wine, mat is always excited to see you after

bc he lives for the praise you give him

he’s not really sure why it sticks with him so much bc he brushes off the guys’ praise easily, but knowing you’re proud of him fills him with so much joy

he just loves making you proud of him in general

similar to a puppy golden retriever when you’re training it and you reward it with treats and they’re so happy

that’s mat always

he lives for your texts when he’s on roadies and the little notes you sometimes leave him in his bag it’s like a fun little gift he knows he gets to open which makes roadies less hard on him

he loves making you happy, so every time he does something special for you like taking you out to nice dinners and you thank him, it makes him feel really good

loves when you compliment his suits but loves when you compliment him when he’s lounging around in boring gray sweats and an old t-shirt

like yeah mat knows he looks good when his hair is slicked back and he’s got a thousand dollar suit on, but it makes him feel great when you think he’s hot when he’s not trying

but when you say you love him at random times? he’s done for

mat doesn’t get shy a lot, but when you shower him with loving words and phrases, he gets all warm inside and can’t meet your eye

like imagine you’re just laying in bed before going to sleep and you’re just catching up on each other’s days after being apart for a little bit sharing a few kisses and cuddles

and then you say something like “you make me so happy” or “you’re my dream guy, you know that?”

mat’s cheeks heat instantly and he gets really shy and soft (and a little teary-eyed tbh)

he’d just nuzzle his face into your neck so you can’t see his expression and press kisses to your collarbone or something and tell you he loves you too

bc something about receiving praise about his skill is fine and he can take it all day and loves it, but receiving praise about how good of a boyfriend you think he is or how grateful you are to have him makes him quiet

it just means so much more to him knowing you love him for all his little things rather than just all the hockey stuff he hears constantly