hm. well, i finally did what the astologer said i'd do in dec, 2020 - get mar- no! start writing. i feel like i'd jinx things so i'd rather keep my lips sealed, but come to think of it some of those doomsday predictions could afford to get jinxed, nay, hexed!

today during mediation i dont remember seeing/being shown anything. in the beginning i used to be shown colours, then images of the god archetypes - ganesha, krishna, shiva, devi (my favorite, kali). kali doesnt visit me anymore, i havent had a conversation with her in ages. hm. but maybe its cos a choice i made, rather than a choice on her part - they're always accessible should we choose ennalle kaaryangal? hm. can't say with kali, she's pretty...whacky. had that psychic friend of mine tell me the same, excpet the kali she described sounded delirious and slightly crazed - oh yeah she described it as an old hag sitting by the road laughing at the shit the girl does, always watching, always crazy.

these days i do what swami vivekananda advised: forget the visuals. the exercise is to cultivate awareness into awareness, turn one into itself. is what ive understood. to recognise thoughts as thoughts, feelings as feelings and then through recognition go beyond their holds altogether - become aware of the rocket, shoot past escape velocity.

maybe i should've picked a more anonymous name - nah, helps SERPs im sure. or maybe not. hm.

today during mediation, i got the marching order to start blogging - write. i was given this many months back, and had started a google blog but it died out. as i quit tarot and tried figure out ghosts and dead people, the blog suffered. this feels better. tbh i dont think anyone could ever shut me up, i feel like this proverbial tap, open always, in pours words, out pours verses. but today's instruction fell a little different in my ear. i got excited. i had to write. so i did. who knows what i wrote before this. channelling doesnt leave room for memory. good. what'd that handsome chap say? "flow state."