When Isaka kissed Asahina and pinned him on the couch, Asahina had no idea why. The only thing he knew was that Isaka was down for some reason. That could’ve been due to a girl rejecting him or he was just bored. It was a bad, unexplained move on Isaka’s part but imo purely driven by impulsive desperation with no real expectation. But if Asahina had reciprocated at that point, their power imbalance would’ve still been intact. Maybe they could’ve moved onto a romantic relationship, but Isaka would probably constantly wonder “Did he just accept because he has to ‘please’ me as part of his duty?” And Asahina may wonder if Isaka just sees him as a plaything. Their foundation would’ve been built on sand.

That’s why I love Asahina pushing him off and immediately saying “Why do you always do things to trouble me?” Asahina thinks he’s being toyed with. I’ll come back to this, but in the true confession later, Asahina apologizes first before confessing, saying he doesn’t wish to be a burden with his feelings. That ties directly with the pushing-off quote. He thinks his feelings are a burden and have been something he’s hidden for years. His feelings are his most troubling aspect of his personality. He is torn between guiding Isaka to the right path and wanting him for himself. Isaka’s existence is a trouble to him and him thinking Isaka has found him out and making fun of his feelings is the worst possibility ever because now he actually has become a burden and is now being looked down upon. Then not only that, but after this Isaka insecurely lashes out and basically says to stop taking care of him. Asahina in this scene feels he has been completely stripped open, made fun of, then tossed aside. What use now does he have?

Then Asahina moves out, quits, and returns the flower which is so amazing. Yes, he does want to see if he makes it in his own. But he also sees himself as a burden to the Isakas as a whole, and that flower of course is him “letting go” of his feelings and also the shackles of loving him. Asahina is a perfectly capable man, he never truly “needed” the Isakas to be successful. Along the same line, the Isakas don’t need him (and he possibly thought he wasn’t wanted, as shown that once it’s all good he returns to Marukawa).

Now it’s the rainy confession scene. Isaka has realized he’s made a terrible mistake of ignoring Asahina and making him think he’s not wanted. In the apartment, Asahina hides behind the noble, unproblematic excuse (which is also true) that he wants to make it on his own. He also tells Isaka that he’s not his caretaker anymore, and therefore not tethered to him and doesn’t owe him anything. Isaka literally crumbles. He knows he now doesn’t have any authority over Asahina and has messed up. All he can do is muster a shaky “Don’t go” while grabbing onto Asahina’s wrist. This is the pivotal scene showing that the power imbalance has shifted drastically. Asahina used to be “under” Isaka as a caretaker and commanded. Here, Asahina is commanding Isaka to basically leave him alone. Isaka knows he can’t command him, so he begs him, as much as his ego can, to not go.

But, of course, Asahina loves Isaka and can’t stand seeing Isaka so disheveled. So he confesses, simultaneously apologizing for his feelings as a burden and that’s a reason why he left. After all Asahina likes him as a friend and they grew up together. Asahina was not confessing here expecting a positive reaction. They were conjoined at the hip since kids, of course Asahina and Isaka were close. But he also thought Isaka were straight and that he genuinely did like Asahina at least platonically as evidenced by him being sopping wet from the rain. This confession was pure-hearted with less to lose now.

But all this to say, for the same reason why it’s good Asahina didn’t reciprocate the kiss, Asahina had to be the one to confess first. It would’ve been the same cycle of wondering if it was duty or not. And honestly, Isaka has such low self esteem and coping (thinking he was in love with his dad BUT ALSO then wishing he was a woman so Asahina would love him) in regards to Asahina that I don’t think he ever would’ve confessed and power imbalance like I said.

I love it that Asahina was the one who flipped everything on its head as affectively emotionless as he is and was the forefront of having them become equals and setting up a good foundation.