#irynith

When all you love is dying When all you do is trying When all you that ruins is vying When all your thoughts are flying When all you want is ending Without any transcending When rot turns you to nothing When death gives you the escape hatch When love gives you the hate Then what shall we all be doing? When the world passes you by And all you can think is How can I die? The endings with no beginnings The darkness feels more forgiving Letting all that you love go away Because you just can't feel that way When your heart is broken Your limbs and lungs are choking Nothing to becomes your chest Like a loneliness in your internal self The world seems like it's gone And you aren't even the one Just a wind, a void, a gap. Wanting something But you forget Your name your hope and all Til you become a blank host thrall But please I don't want to give up Something come Make me stand up If not then I will gnaw and will tear Until my nails bleed Til I despair Please something give me a lighter Please make the world brighter I can't take it anymore But I want to love Just a little more I want to love Please just for a moment No one wanted my love quite before But I shall love Even if I can't feel My bones and my head Even if I don't know How much I bled Even if I am numb I will try to love And never shall I be forgiven For my Dread delusional giving I'm sorry for all that I had done Yet still I'll try to be someone Forevermore

Perhaps there will be a good day Where all the things feel okay And all the pain goes away Just a tranquil moment in decay Unmourned and forgotten Healing what has rotten Feeding things at the bottom Hopefully not a wasteful trotting I know It will always wither Like the leaves in the winter And my soul will grow cold again But it doesn't have to be the end And in time maybe more days will be warmer Coloured, maybe even bolder Perhaps then I will forget bad ones Yet for now I'm done of all this just wish I could get a silent rest A sleep for a couple hours to scare the eternity this day.

Everything seems to breathe but you All the morning flowers and the dew wish I could have powered through The pain and the grief The dying underneath In my brain, despair I once dreamt, I was on the chair. Jumping to oblivion Jumping to nothingness But it was you Oh what did I do? Oh why must it be so. I thought we were friends But nothing really breathes though And the ocean breeze is rotting And my thoughts are all forgotten All the time we spent, just rotting I miss you my friend Til the bitter, the end Oh my what have I done? To make you run away from the sun. And I saw you once still breathing In the city of the night But only I was the ghost And I gave you a fright And you ran and cursed my name I'm sorry, I'll carry the shame. I just wanted a friend who was there But my mind degrades and despairs And spreads the illness through The atmosphere and you. I wish I was like you. I wish I was just true. And now we'll never see And it's all because of me I hope you're happy out there though I hope you forgot me so I hope on bad days you remember How kind and nice we were As friends of December As doommates of the world. I hope one day a memory Of us makes you smile I know it won't happen. But please, anything but dying. Everything is too trying.