#irvingtask003

CHOICE 01 —— WRITING

if you’d rather explore your muses secret through writing, you can do anything from a self-para, to a page on their blog detailing the entirety of their secret, a closed thread with another muse, or anything you can think of in-between! it can be them mulling over what they’re hiding, the lengths they’ve taken to keep it hidden, the toll it’s taken on them to hide it, them revealing part or all of their secret to another person, or someone accidentally finding out –- possibly even exposing them. these are all just ideas, of course -- whatever you choose to do, if you’re in the mood to write, this is the choice for you!

CHOICE 02 —— NON-WRITING

the non-writing task is pretty self-explanatory -- you can create something for your muse revolving around their secret, except with little to no writing involved. this could be a playlist, a moodboard, or if you’re photoshop-savvy, a character graphic representing the secret. the only parameter for this one is that you write as little as possible and explore aspects of your muse’s secret that you can’t describe in words.

there’s never been a time that minkyu wished he engaged in his brother’s penchant for teenage drinking so much as now. head throbbing for reasons that have nothing to do with a hangover, he huffs out a breath and buries his face back into his pillow. on the other side of the queen bed, he can hear minjae snoring peacefully. good. after spending most of the early morning hours crouched near where his twin was bent over the toilet, cold compress held to his neck, it was good to see him sleeping soundly. 

prickles of guilt slide up kyu’s spine, keeping him from closing his eyes and settling back in for a few more hours of gilded sleep. he stirs restlessly, tousling dark locks as he seeks solace further in the pillow’s softness. although he’d always take care of his twin without hesitation, last night had felt more urgent. he needed to atone. 

secrets between brothers were wrong, but secrets between twins was betrayal. 

the night had begun like any other ‘halloween party’ might’ve. oh-too-trusting parents had agreed to let their sons host the bash of the century (or at least of the autumnal season) and made themselves scarce by visiting a family friend. the day had been spent adding to the already impressive fake cobwebs and witches cauldrons strewn around the home in decoration. minkyu, of course, found himself doing more of the work while jae spent most of it texting his girlfriend but, still. by the time costumes were on, the song residence was ready for debauchery

minjae was in charge of that much. he knew how to score them a plethora of cheap beers and various mixable liquors which combined questionably with gummy eyeballs and green powerade to keep with the holiday’s vibe. kyu was convinced his brother had more tricks up his sleeve, harder drinks and other intoxicants, but he wasn’t going to ask. it was better not to know. 

once it got late enough, the house filled quickly. minkyu didn’t even know if he could name all the people coming and going, drawn to the thrum of the bass and the promise of free alcohol. he held his place at the outskirts of the crowds. a wallflower and perfectly lovely host, he’d refill glasses, politely answer questions about his costume (the peter pan to his twin’s captain hook; jae’s idea plus it repurposed some of his old ballet tights), and fuss about trying to make sure no family personal effects were damaged in the revelry. 

some instinctive part of him wanted to dance, body desperate to get on the same frequency as the music making their whole home rattle. however, he wasn’t quite brave enough to get in the middle of the grinding and jumping teens called ‘dancing’ and he certainly wasn’t about to embarrass himself on the edges by dancing on his own. it was still fun, in its own way. he got to watch minjae in his element, laughing, drinking surrounded by friends, girlfriend on his arm (dressed as wendy, of course). the more raucous the party got, the more jae’s painstakingly kyu-applied makeup smudged and his pirate hat was discarded at some point, but all were signs that he was having a good time.

minkyu, for his part, made menial small talk with passing school friends, proudly accepted compliments on the ‘sick party’ and ‘cool decorations, man,’ picked up after minjae, and would’ve been content to leave it at that. some of his dance crew even made it out which  brightened his night considerably though he’s not sure any of them stayed (about their scene as much as it was his). halloween was a success and as it creeped past one, kyu’s social battery was running on low. physical exhaust weighed on his slim tunic clad shoulders as well -- he’d been up since 5am for dance practice, after all. a few more smiles and waves and he was ready to turn in. 

first, he’d check on minjae one last time. a gauge of his state would tell kyu whether or not he’d be napping, prepared to take care of his drunk brother later on in the evening or fully sleeping, confident he could leave his twin to his own devices. instead of finding jae, though, it was his brother’s girlfriend who found him. if her breath was anything by which to judge, kyu would most definitely be up with jae if he’d had even a fraction of the cocktails she’s consumed. 

despite their height difference, she has an arm looped comfortably around minkyu’s neck before he can even process quite what he’s stumbled upon. “jae baby!” she delights, drawing in close to minkyu’s side. 

“oh, er, no, i’m looking for him?” applying a logic to the situation felt like the only possible out. minkyu could tell she was confused, bless her. “where’d you last see him?” he tried to pry his way out of her grip, gently but with feeling. the glassiness of her gaze as they connected eyes should have told him he wouldn’t be getting an answer and she wobbled precariously in her heels (why was wendy wearing heels, actually? didn’t suit the costume, in kyu’s opinion).

“come with me!” came her suggestion instead. if minkyu were any more versed in the art of coquetry, he may have seen her expression as a warning sign. if he had any experience from which to draw, he may have broken away from where she linked their hands, excused himself, and continued the search on his own. innocently, obliviously, he thought she’d lead him to minjae -- not to the guest bedroom. 

“jae?” kyu called into the half darkness, now his turn at bemusement. did his twin crash earlier than him? not make it up to their bedrooms on the second floor? why was his hand still being held and -- oh. 

with all his lanky height and typically pristine dancer’s balance, minkyu was knocked off center by his brother’s girlfriend crowding him up against the now-closed bedroom door. her posture had changed to loop arms back around his neck and he had just enough time to make an awkward squawk of a sound before lips found his in the darkness. his eyes remained open and his whole body rigid in painfully sober surprise. hands were dropped to his sides, palms flat against the door. 

what? she had the twins confused. it was a case of mistaken identity. sure they were in drastically different costumes but it’s very clear from how she’s kissing, liquor soaked tongue not finding entry against minkyu’s clamped shut lips, that she has no idea he’s not minjae. fingers make their way up into his hair, tug with no response. he’s processing, panicking, begging it all to end so he doesn’t have to be the one to do so. it’s his first kiss, stolen, and by the girl that his brother told him might actually be ‘the one’. no no no no. 

his usual softness be damned, he firmly grabbed her by the waist and pushed away. she stayed upright, thankfully, but her expression seemed heartbroken. no. don’t make this worse. “don’t you want me? you were saying you want me!” her voice wavered and he wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or an immediate threat of tears. kyu wasn’t about to stick around to find out. 

freedom found, he coached his paralyzed limbs into action, opening the door and darting out of the room. his heart hammered in his chest, no, and he was sure that people were staring -- no. as he sped his way past the party and sprinted up the stairs, he raised a free hand to his lips. there’s lipstick smudged there, he can feel it, sticky and incriminating. he had to tell minjae. he had to find minjae. 

but that would mean returning back to the party, risking people getting ideas seeing him in this disheveled state and, even worse, running into her and having to explain. no. he couldn’t do it. not with his heart still flying at a hummingbird’s pace and his mind replaying the horrible discomfort of it all with striking detail. why did people ever kiss? why when it was so warm and wet and strange.

he’d stay sitting on the floor of his bedroom, eyes scrunched closed and head pressed against the door, for over half an hour, ruminating until the guilt felt entirely his own burden to bear. by the end of it, he didn’t think it’d matter that she was drunk, that she thought he was minjae, that he’d broken it off as soon as he could. his first kiss was with his brother’s girlfriend and there would be no changing that. ever. all he could do was hope that she was too drunk to remember what he’s too sober to forget. 

the telltale stumbling of his twin coming up the stairs served as the end of his pity party and, with limbs heavy from disuse, he made his way towards the sound, ready to play the part of perfect brother. 

“kyu?” comes minjae’s groggy query, voice as pale as the early morning sun rays streaming in through the window. “y’there?” of course he was there. he’s always going to be there, for so long as he can help it. kyu gives a hum of response, not yet trusting himself not to just blurt out his offenses. “some party, huh?”

one could say that again. he can hear a sleepy pride in his brother’s voice. aside from the unceremonious ending -- minkyu clearing people out after it was clear both hosts would be out of commission -- it had been a good night, in jae’s eyes. kyu just wishes he could feel the same. maybe he should tell him now, get it over with, let his twin decide culpability and consequences while he’s not yet feeling the heaviness of his hangover. but -- no. 

“go back to sleep, jae,” kyu returns gently instead, turning onto his side to face away from the other. “we’ll get you back in your own bed when it’s actually legal to be awake.” it’s said with affection and apparently it’s enough for jae to drift off, breathing evening out slowly. minkyu will take it to the grave, he decides.