#iron-immolate

honestly vwhat do i say at this point. mindfang another case of someone vwho pokes the bear, vwith a knife, and then shoots it dowvn vwith angry frustration as to vwhy it lashed out to begin vwith. she got angry that i finally decided to stop taking shit and i responded back to her instead of taking her beef; vwith honestly far more passivwe responses vwersus the shit she givwes. 

most of it isnt evwen to hurt? if any at all; vwhen ivwe approached i havwent made fun of her past, her quad relationships, none. just joshing around or asking questions. or responding bitterly if she happens to say something first in the slurry of insults.

look through my tag for her. her tag for me; her mentions of my name. my mentions of her. im not a fucking bluff. 

im called the bother and yet shes came onto my posts randomly making fun of me. if i come to her for a small chat, she laughs. shes the one vwho commented on her blog about my decisions that dont relate to her. or continues to comment on my vweight or my concept of livwing or about my fake quads vwhen i smile tight and attempt to respond in a vway that keeps the peace.

someone once said i havwe good self esteem.

i really dont and im fucking dying from all the shit thats happened recently, evwen outside of her. but shes recently been a thorny factor.

yet people decided to only chip in vwhen it finally goes too far; chip in and act like i cant say anything or be upset at things people havwe harassed me for in the past to the point of hurting hard.

as if other people are also aloud to havwe emotional disrupts?

i havwe a fucking support dog nowv to help vwith that shit, for petes sake. get the hint.

nevwermind the most recent block; prior to that she unfollowved me for doing fuck all; i remember doing nothing but chipping in a casual joke due to some stuff on her other blog and then she started asking vwhy im the vway i am.

ivwe been called fat for posting selfies. ivwe been called a vwhore for sleeping vwith others. ivwe been told that i shouldnt exist and that i should go die for catching up on dash.

same old vwerse, different bloody singer.

if she vwants to change, for other people, then thats fine. i NEVWER said that vwas an issue, nor that people should stop being proud, as much as her pitch vwants to put vwords into my mouth. i get shes a bad schmuck too; that shit nevwer truly dies out as much as anyone tries to admit it. ill take full on fault and say that sometimes i still do dumb shit despite calming dowvn ovwer the svweeps.

i get it.

but people dont havwe the right to tell me howv to feel as much as they givwe her the ability to continue to talk aloud about evwery thing she hates on blog. people dont havwe the right to tell me howv to feel in privwate. they dont havwe the right to call me a bad person for getting angry ovwer harassment that i only havwe myself to defend against.

this is literally a recap of last year, but serket addition. 

maybe if i did do something id apologize, if it vwas something i actually did. but the ovwerwhelming bullshit that is nowv, especially vwith dash dragging and lack of trying to fix shit, doesnt help, so im done. if she doesnt vwanna help herself vwith this, and no one else vwants to help, then ill help myself; maybe in turn her, for her sake i guess. she doesnt vwanna vwait up on people after all.

im at a point nowv vwhere my energys shot through and then depleted, and i cant care to push out so much anger, evwen if its fucking natural. i dont vwant to.

i knowv she has me blocked, and evwen if she didnt or doesnt she vwont read the lot of this, but you nevwer knowv vwhats to change. also i just answvered this for because i vwas asked to, and this is stuff clogging my chest.

so, to make evweryone happy, im just going to pet my dog and smile so things go back to feeling peachy keen and there are absolutely no issues present.