@iranubes -- continued from here.
“hm? oh–yes. have a seat.”
he suddenly looks rather uncomfortable with her presence, gesturing vaguely toward the chair opposite his own before fixing his gaze on a nearby wall.
“mabui, for a fair number of years now, you’ve been such a great asset to this village that i’d be a fool to try and claim anything less. you’ve always done your job.. jobs, really, very professionally. but here lately… i’ve noticed you slipping.”
“everyone makes mistakes, and i doubt anyone who didn’t work in close proximity with you would even notice. but the thing is that i only ever hear of you acting this way around me, neveranybody else.”
he pauses to clear his throat, forcing himself to fix his gaze on her.
“what i want to know is–why? is there something i’ve done without realizing to make you so nervous? or scared? or if it’s neither of those things, then explain it to me. you’re a very intelligent person–smarter than i am, i’d wager to say–so surely you understand that i cannot fix a problem or correct my behavior if i don’t know what the issue is to begin with.”
-- she appears calm, collected, and cool on the outside; quietly, she thanks him and takes a seat in the chair, the picture of a poised, competent young lady. her legs cross neatly and her attention is given to him fully as if it were no different than any other time she’d spoken to him.
inside, however, she is rigid; he’d said he’d noticed some things that needed to resolved. that they’d become ISSUES unless they were resolved. she thought she’d kept it hidden so well, thought that she’d shoved these growing feelings down into the deepest part of herself and that they wouldn’t show. but her mouth was treacherous and allowed things to slip; confessing that she was worried for him, that she wasn’t sure what she’d do if he died. these things COULD be chalked up to something completely innocent, or, if one were to look hard enough, they could see what lay beneath.
her body was even more of a traitor; she found herself stiffening, made herself more aware of the way she spoke, the way she moved, where her eyes were ... all in an effort to keeps things hidden.
he believes it is HIS FAULT that she is acting this way. the admittance causes her to still momentarily and she does not respond at first, first relief flooding through her before the guilt hits her like a tidal wave. it is not his fault that she reacts this way, and more than not wanting him to be burdened with her feelings, she does not want him to be burdened with the thought that he somehow scares her.
❝ i apologize for my behavior, but... it’s not your fault that i’ve behaved this way. ❞ how does one go about admitting to their boss that they’ve developed unprofessional, conflicted feelings for them? ❝ it’s MY fault. ❞
