We talked, constantly. Telling each other about the stories we never get to tell other people. Realizing within ourselves that thing we never get to admit on our own and out loud. Like how I like being alone not because I’m lonely. But because my soul craves to find the peace within me despite the busy outside. 

How you told me you had plans to shift careers and how scary that must be to drastically change what you have been so accustomed to. For that brief moment, I thought you exposed yourself to me, with no hesitations. I thought that for once after a really long time, I saw through you. I saw the man you have become after the time we were apart. 

I guess I have always seen the good in people and refused to see the red flag indicators that say I will get hurt after all this. I guess I never have thought of you as the one lacking, I have always thought it was me. Had I not aged and learned anything, I would have allowed that idea eat me from the inside out. But I am no longer that girl who fell for your swooning words and your promises. I have become better, wiser. 

See, I have noticed that anything done and said in happiness and ecstasy has a tendency has a tendency to wane in frequency. The hype just dies down after a while. I have seems this plenty of times and it seems that I haven’t learned. I have given out second chances to people who end up wasting it and never really appreciate it. I thought they did. I was quite sure within those few months, weeks, days that they did. There were some signs sure, I ignored them since they were probably nothing. I didn’t want to read into those things that much. 

Turns out my gut was telling me all the right things. Handing out second chances, for me, has always felt so liberating. Not because I want to be liked, or have plenty of connections. But because I want that person to be in my life, still. But just like everything else that is inevitable, I have run out of second chances No more fucks to give because honestly, I am done with being fucked over and over again. It’s exhausting.