#iquitteaching

Dear parents of my students,

1. Try to show up to SOME events. I have athletes that have NEVER had a parent, family member, or friend attend. The lack of support is disheartening. I know some of you might be struggling to get by and work multiple jobs, but I would bet my life that you could MAKE the time for at least ONE event during the year. Make your children a priority, because when you leave this world, you will leave them behind...they would rather have your love and support instead of your paycheck any day!

2. When attending said event, be a role model. The metaphor of "mama bear" just signals to everyone that you are immature and tacky. Control yourselves, because your children will follow your example. Make it a good one!

3. Introduce yourself to the teacher or coach. I have coached athletes all year without EVER meeting their family. I know you sign their school documents, so you do exist, but I don't have a face to that name. Don't you want to know who you leave your children with for hours at end? Who is taking your children on a bus trip an hour away? Who is responsible for taking care of them in accidents when you're not around? Who is teaching your child and influencing their development? Who would be the person locking the doors and keeping them safe if real trouble occurred? I am completely flabbergasted that you haven't checked that I am a real person and at least appear to be sane and well-adjusted. Aren't you concerned even a little bit? You should be. Lucky you that I am not a bad person and care about your child enough for you and me both.

4. In reference to sports: Do not complain to me that your child isn't playing/performing enough during events when you are the reason why they can't attend practice half the time. You seem to schedule EVERYTHING during our practice time. I'm sorry, but I reward those athletes that DO attend practice with playing time. The fact that you don't see the reasoning in the that is astounding. Are you dumb?

5. Finally, MOTHER OF GOD, stop overworking these children and stop allowing them to overwork themselves. Some of my athletes are so high-strung, stressed, tired, etc. Why? Because they are involved in about 5 or more activities outside of school on a weekly basis (piano, karate, musicals, club volleyball, part time jobs, etc). If you haven't noticed, and you should have because I have and I see and know them less than you, THEY ARE TIRED. Please help them unload their plates so they can enjoy their youth more. Teach them that they can't do everything, and more important, THAT IT IS OKAY and IMPORTANT to take time for yourself just to RELAX. No wonder the majority of them are on medication or come to me crying more times than I can count. 

6. TALK to your child. ASK them questions. How was your day? What are you learning in school? How can I help you? How are your friends? Anything fun coming up at school? What's your favorite thing at school right now? Are you stressed out? I ask my athletes and students if you ever talk to them or ask them these things...the shocking answer....the majority of them say you don't. I ask them every Monday how their weekend was. I tell them good morning and good afternoon the first time I see them that day. I tell them to have a good day and to be safe. 

7. SPEND time with them. I can't even count how many times I have heard or read how you leave them alone all the time and they have no idea where you are. How you never spend time with them and you spend more time with your friends. How you don't sit down and have dinner with them. How you don't bother to  say good night to them (FYI, my mother gave me a hug and a kiss every night until I left for college. When I visit her, she still does it. This small thing is just one of the ways I know my mother loves me. The small things DO add up to MUCH MUCH more than you could ever know.)

8. Don't ask me how much I make...that's just rude and insulting. Don't tell me that I'm too young to be a teacher/coach...I'm 28 years old for crying out loud, I'm old enough to be your child's parent (scarily enough). Don't ask me if I have kids so that you can throw that in my face as some illogical and baseless reasoning as to why I can't give you parenting tips. It takes the village to raise your child, stop fighting it and accept the help graciously. Even if you didn't ask for it, maybe you NEEDED it. Debatable yes, but at THINK about it.

9. Don't tell me you can't buy them a $10 book when you paid for a $300 smart phone and probably pay well over a $100 month on your child's data plan. Don't insist you can't when your child is walking around wearing Beats headphones and rocking brand name clothes with sparkling shoes. By the way, SURE, I will keep providing them with school supplies that are paid with my own personal money. But when you sit down at our conference, and your smart phone won't stop ringing, I notice your pretty manicure and dyed hair, and listen to you attempt to sound like you know something about the field of education....I barely can contain myself from leaning over the table and smacking you. I have been to countries where education isn't free and children don't have ANY opportunities in life but to simply survive. 

10. I am quitting teaching. I give up, you win. You fight teachers to lower the standards so that your child will pass, but I try to educate your child so that they CAN pass...but they need to work for it. I don't enable children that want everything for nothing, but I'm tired of fighting you. I simply have been drained. I was attempting to shape your child into a responsible and well-functioning citizen, but you wanted to protect them from learning self-discipline and self-respect...instead you taught them to whine and bargain until they get their way. I am tired. I tried to inspire a love of reading, a love of the game, a love of education, and you didn't support me in that journey. You questioned everything that I did, everything that I learned to do from experts in the field and from techniques from the best researched methods. You knew better, simply because...simply because...simply because? I am overwhelmed. I can't keep being a teacher to 150+ students, parent to 20 of those, counselor to 50 of those, coach to 40 of those, big sister to 10 of those, etc etc etc. You can't manage your child, but I am supposed to have perfected how to manage a couple of hundred at once? I am not perfect, but I am good at what I do. Thank you for never noticing that, not that I needed you to, but I needed you to at least be kind...I am, after all, just like another adult like you. I am a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a granddaughter...my life does not revolve around your child, because it shouldn't. But damn, you make it seem like it should. I am BURNT OUT....for two reasons: 1) Politicians are messing with education when the have no business to do so. Why are they doing so? BIG BUSINESS and their grip on politics. STOP listening to the politicians and START listening to the educators on the ground, in the field, day in  and day out. These new policies are NOT helping. Schools are not businesses, we are better than that. Schools are institutions of growth, places for freedom of thought, inspiration stations, places for personal exploration, chances for cooperative learning, and safe houses for those who do not have safe homes. Politics have made schools into testing centers, one size fits all models, results and data driven lessons that restrict imagination and innovation. I am disgusted. 2) Parents, not all, have stopped "raising" their children. They simply have added new friends to their household. They don't teach discipline, yet expect me to discipline them without home support. They don't demonstrate positive attitudes towards education or bring learning into their homes. Some CAN'T afford to be better parents, but could if they weren't experiencing hardships. Some are abusing their children, and it breaks my heart every single time I am a part of a CPS report. Some have given up on their children, and I can't make those children feel that they are worthy and loved because they are damaged beyond my professional reach...and it breaks my heart. I can't take the heart break anymore. I can't take the disrespect. I can't take the enabling.  can't take the lack of support. I can't take the demands to do more with less resources and less time. No...I choose not to. 

Dear children,

Take care of yourselves. If you ever find yourself unhappy in life, do something about it. 

With all the love I have left,