#invisus

            there’s a pause that follows rodimus’ uncertain words ( he has never been one for apologies ;   & rewind knows them all too well,  broken promises preached again & again ),  visor dimmed & indistinct in subdued blue.   because he knows rodimus is dancing around the subject,  the dented cheek & energon smeared  /  his love playing god,  ready to exchange his life for another.   little else could be the reason for rewind to approach him,  utter those four words from his vox.

            ❛  he was ready to die,  y’know.   that stubborn idiot. . .   ready to sacrifice himself to bring him back,  ❜   his voice feels too forced,  too heavy,  pushing determined words into the open.   digits press against his chassis,  feel the thrum of anticipation in his spark,   ❛  & i            i feel so guilty for making him think that was what i wanted.   but you knew he would die if he didn’t stop,  & you just let it happen !  ❜

it’s a fruitless, unfortunate circumstance they’re in.  rodimus’ eyes are downcast, his back hunched and doorwings tilted slightly to the floor.  his servos hold onto one another, gaze refusing to meet another’s.  chromedome sits straight, yellow eyed visor giving off no clue as to what he sees or what his attention lays on, but what’s left to infer is enough.  enough for the lost light’s grandiose captain to GUESS.   the mnemosurgeon can see the dent left in his cheek, harrowing against the usual smoothness of rodimus’ face.  there is more than that, of course, but it’s new mark that COUNTS, the only one that has any real meaning behind it.  this issue is forbidden.  yet he’s picking the lock around it, regardless.  to pretend like nothing happened would be unnatural.

❛ he thought you deserved it.  ❜    he won’t DENY that he didn’t volunteer, nor would he deny that his efforts didn’t come off as nearly or half suicidal.  an enabler is not the entertainer.  rodimus was right in regards to the importance of the surgery, he wouldn’t deny that, but.    BUT.    straw heads set fire so easily  ;  so prettily, after years of use with no regard or care for what was in it.   his own agreement to it was self destructive, but in spite of that chromedome has already forgave and forgot.   the thought of what he saw, needles pressing delicate holes into a neck, still makes him shiver.  a nausea builds in the back of his throat  alongside a strawberry joy, that he was chosen, overwhelmingly, chosen   ----------  and chromedome doesn’t know if he should THANK rodimus or CONDEMN him because of it.