#introspective bear

ughh I know ;;; ok hope you don’t mine i’m gonna use your ask to vent my thoughts lmao:

I definitely had gotten the vibes they (A3) were planning on releasing a mini album for us, and with this info now confirmed by CNU it sucks that they didn’t get to do this since his draft came so suddenly and unexpectedly (+ they wanted to do a concert for fans too?! ugh that would have been so sweet and amazing…;;;)

I think it was very mature of him to talk about the B1A4 split as ‘everyone sharing responsibility’ for the outcome. It’s a mature outlook, and probably true, although I think the amount responsibility that everyone shares certainly differs from member to member (I’m sure you all can guess where I’m going with that though lmao)

In that same answer, he also goes on to say how some fans view B1A4 as such an important part of their lives, a source of their happiness and that’s why he feels so indebted to us and it just makes my heart both so full and so sad because while he’s right to think that of fans (I know I’m at least one of those fans that has always derided so much joy from them), again, it’s not a burden he should have to feel falls on his shoulders ;;;

Of all the things he said, I thought his answer about why he renewed his contract was the most insightful. He addressed that he knew fans would question his decision to stay: ”Of course there’d be complaints and misunderstandings since we were in this company for so long..” but also answers the reason to him overlooking WM’s issues: “…no matter how I saw it, they grew us and it was because of this company that I was able to debut, so my feelings about renewing my contract grew”, which is a satisfactory answer, in my opinion. He’s loyal down to his core, and will always have respect for WM. 

Also just random quotes that stood out to me that I want to point out: “I feel like we committed a great sin to those people. It’s not like I want to find out who did what, I’m just very sorry about this situation” I don’t know exactly what me meant by ‘it’s not like I want to find out who did what’ but it just has a very interesting tone to me… ; About his newfound relationship growth with Chandeul: “We also see each other and contact each other more.” makes me think they are purposely going out of their way to be communicative because of the lack of communication that likely occurred with them and Bayoung ; “Even though I can’t promise to stay with [WM] for the rest of my life, at least for this time I had wanted to renew my contract and stay together. I don’t think the 5 of us thought the same thing” this again kinda might confirm that he wasn’t, and still isn’t, 100% sure why Bayoung left because like I’ve always felt, there probably just wasn’t any (or very little) communication between them towards the end with Bayoung not letting A3 know they were leaving (let alone their reasons behind leaving). And I guess they still don’t know.

I can certainly understand a lot of what you’re feeling with him. He isn’t the most popular member, and he isn’t one that is comfortable really branching out of his comfort zone. And on top of that, we know he’s also a worrier and someone who takes things to heart.

What I think a lot of us fans of his can take comfort in though, is the fact that CNU has really come into his own in the last few years. He still is sensitive and introspective, but there’s also been such a growth to him as he’s become more confident in his compositions, and building his musical acting career. Now, I don’t expect him to be trying out for movies anytime soon which goes back to what I said regarding his ‘comfort zone’, but I think a lot of that also has to do with him coming to realize where his true interests lie, versus us having to worry that he’s just not doing it because maybe he thinks he isn’t good enough.

His interest in working out and taking care of his body in a healthy manner also ties in to this new confidence, and he’s hinted around (like in the last v live of his birthday) that he really wants to show the fans a better image and side of him. I mean, we could take this literally that he wants to show us his.. ‘improved’ image aka six pack but I also think, knowing him and how carefully he chooses his words, it can be taken more generally in the sense that he has a few other things up his sleeve. I wouldn’t be surprised within the next few months we’ll get news of him releasing his own solo project. Plus, I think he’ll continue with musicals, and maybe get into producing with his peers (I could totally see him joining up with Jooyoung and releasing something together!)

Basically, this is my word-vomiting way of saying that while it’s natural for us to worry, I think CNU is actually in a pretty good spot be it mentally or otherwise. I don’t think he’s going to fade away, but quite the opposite– I’m really banking on this being an opportunity for him to shine, especially now that there isn’t the worry of his songs being automatically compared to Jinyoung’s, or them not being ‘good enough’ for B1A4, etc.

(2) re: ‘traitor’ discourse, i was glad that anon put it into words. i guess my subconscious too 'blames’ jy (baro less so, despite him being the one who is apparently more eager to move on. bc my gut said he checked out (of the whole idol thing) long before they split. so him leaving, dropping his stage name feels like a logical conclusion, good for him tbh). while jy used to insist b1a4 were forever and jinx schminx etc (as recently as their anni?), but is now happy to be doing his own thing?(3) i immediately hate myself for saying that bc i really do love him and think link8 is adorable and trying very hard where wm failed. i know bayoung left wm, not b1a4, and they might not be pandering and we will actually get ot5 somewhere down the line. or j ground producing for ot3 (wow). I also never wanted/ expected 'b1a4 forever’ if that was not what they wanted.(4) i also realised, writing this, they likely each had their own different reasons for leaving (baro’s change in career goals vs jy’s issues with wm’s management): so i can’t blame one more than the other for not wanting to stick around. sorry for the rambling ask (more venting/ stream of consciousness than question lol, but i would appreciate your thoughts)

No need to apologize! If there’s anyone who understands ranting most, it’s probably me 😆 Plus, it’s always nice to hear other’s thoughts. I’ll try my best to succinctly go through all of your points you made here by paragraph: