#introducing mirare

Chapter XVIII: Losing Êlúriel (Pt. I)

“The time went by quickly—harmoniously with great promise. I watched as my kingdom began to grow again beneath the changing seasons. Many days and nights I spent with my family were the most wondrous. I had not known pain for so long, I was not prepared for when it would come again—with a cruel vengeance that would change me forever.

Until that day, nothing seemed out of place. I noticed Legolas was far more sociable that I was at his age. Outside of the royal household he had made quite a few friends.

A new generation was growing up, coming of age and Eryn Galen seemed to become the pride of all kingdoms in Arda. For the first time, I felt like the king my father wanted me to become.

I stood upon the balcony overlooking the gardens speaking with Nimlos and Tatháron. Since the war, his parents had followed my mother into the Undying Lands and he had become the chief smith. He had become a husband and a father himself, with two daughters. His youngest was Mîráre and Legolas seemed to take a liking to her. We watched our children playing together—not care to be had.

“I see Mîráre has found a friend in your son,” Tatháron said smiling.

“Speaking to Elranduil, have you,” I asked. “Leave it to him he will have coupled every child in the kingdom before they can walk.”

“Well, you know, Ëariâth has taken a liking to Tarthôn,” Nimlos said. “Though I am hardly ready to give her hand just yet. Perhaps when she is older.”

“Perhaps a good time would be after she learns to read,” I said.

“I think that wise,” he said laughing.

Soon, Aramír approached—a look of concern on his face. He bowed.

“I have gotten word from Randúmîr of movement within our southern borders,” he said. “It is not anything he would know, but from what he has said, it comes from darkness.”

“What are you saying, Aramír,” I asked.

“Sauron,” he said.

All of us looked at one another knowing the chill that ran through us. We were joined by Elranduil, Fëaluin, Finëar, Aramoth, and Elmîr. I knew by their expressions we were all thinking the same.

“I see you have heard of the return of Sauron,” Fëaluin said. “But that is by far the least of your concern, Thranduil.”

“Aiwendil of Rhosgobel not long since taken his place near our borders,” Aramoth began softly. “He has seen one my wife long told me about.”

Nimlos’ eyes widen and color drained from his face.

“Glamhoth, Sauron thrakatul-ishi,” Aramír whispered. “They have returned to what Aiwendil calls Dol Guldur. There are not many but their evil is stronger.”

“He has returned,” Nimlos said. “The creature that took from me my family. The one that killed Queen Êlúriel’s mother, Thranduil.”

I stopped breathing. My only thought was to keep Êlúriel safe as I thought of her visions and those of her father.

“Tell me she does not know of such things,” I said looking at Nimlos fearfully. “Tell me she has no knowledge of what has come into our kingdom.”

“I do not know,” he said. “But Nenloth would never speak of it to her.”

“No,” Aramoth said. “Because she knows what she would do if she knew.”

“Tatháron, how are we on weaponry,” I asked.

“Very good,” he answered.

“I want better.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” he said, bowing and leaving quickly.

“I will speak with Nînuir and my father,” Elmîr said. “Come, Aramír. Aramoth.”

As they swiftly walked away I turned to Elranduil.

“Where is Êlúriel, Elranduil,” I asked. “Is she with Ardúin?”

“No,” he said. “I saw her by the pool alone.”

“You know what I want,” I said to him. “Take care of it with Fëaluin and Nimlos. Finëar, I want this garden empty upon my return. Let the ladies of the court know there is danger and to keep the children within the palace walls. Have Nenduriel watch after my sons until I return.”

“Yes, Your Majesty,” Finëar said, bowing.

I nearly ran to the pool where many memory I had since childhood to now were as the dreams of men. When I approached, I saw my wife. sitting beside the waters.

“I know why you are here, Thranduil,” she said without looking up. “I have known of this evil in our kingdom since it first came to us.”

“And you did not tell me,” I asked “Why?”

She looked up at me, her eyes as cold as ice. She rose and stood before me.

“You did not need to know until it was time,” she said as she began walking toward the palace.

“Êlúriel, do not walk away from me,” I said angrily.

She stopped walking and turned around slowly.

“I want to see my children,” she hissed. “If you would care to join me, you may.”

“I want to know why you did not tell me what you knew.”

“No,” she said.

“Êlúriel, we need to fight this evil,” I said. “You cannot keep such things from me.”

“You cannot change what will come,” she said, her voice lyrical once more as she approached me. “What comes will come and take from us what it will.”

“It will take nothing from us,” I said. “I will not let that happen.”

She put her arms around me and looked at me.

“I love you and will not lose you to this evil,” she said. “I cannot let that happen. Not now.”

“Not ever,” I said. “I am not going to let it destroy all that we have.”

She was quiet for a moment—lost in thought. She took my hand and kissed it.

“Come,” she said. “Rest, now. The hour grows late.”

“Are you tired, Êlúriel,” I asked. “Are you ill.”

“No,” she said. “I am quite well. As well as I can be as I am.”

“As you are,” I asked. “What you are is unusual.”

“What I am is your fault,” she said as we began walking toward the palace.

“Not this again. How is it my fault that you are what you are?”

“Because you love me too much,” she said.

I could not help myself. I started laughing.

“What,” I asked. “You are the way you are because I love you too much? That does not make sense at all. Would you prefer I love you less?”

“Of course not, Thranduil. I love you too much because you love me too much, so it makes quite a bit of sense.”

“Êlúriel, what are you trying to say?”

“I am the way I am because you love me too much and because you love me so much I love you too much and I let you love me too much.”

“So we love each other very much,” I said. “If my love made you the oddest elf in all of Arda, I suppose I will have to live with what I have done to you.”

As we made our way to our chambers through the empty halls she paused as the guards opened our doors.

“You will have to live with what you have done,” she said. “But not for long.”

“How do you mean,” I asked.

We entered our room and the doors closed behind us. She stood before me—more beautiful than I ever knew her.

“My love,” she began. “My greatest love. My husband and my king. I am afraid you have given me everything I could ever want in this life. I could not ask for more for there is too much already.”

I took her in my arms.

“I love you, Êlúriel,” I said. “What are you attempting to avoid telling me?”

“Nothing,” she said. “It is all true. Every word.”

She pulled away from me and went to our bed and lay across it. She looked at me. She seemed to be thinking once more.

“Thranduil,” she began softly. “I do not want to say anything right now.”

I took my place beside her.

“Why,” I asked. “What keeps you from telling me anything?”

She seemed so far away—the eyes I would drown in every day seemed shallow and empty. I began to worry because the color seemed to fall from her face.

“You worry too much,” she said.

“That is true, so why are you so distant,” I asked still worried. She loosed her gown as she looked at me. “Please tell me, Êlúriel.”

“I am so afraid that I will not be with you much longer,” she said. She had a fear in her eyes I had never seen before. “I do not want to leave you.”

“Where are you going,” I asked.

“To die,” she said softly. “I am afraid I am going to die.”

“Not this again, Êlúriel,” I began remembering what Nimlos had told me. "You know I would give my life to protect you and our children. Why does this vex you?”

“It does, Thranduil,” she said. “I cannot explain it.”

“I would die if anything happened to you,” I said. “I would never want to live without you.”

“But what of our sons,” she asked. “Who would be there for them?” I was beginning to think the discussion was becoming rather unwarranted.

“Why are we speaking of this, Êlúriel?” Then I remembered her mother and understood. “You are not your mother, Êlúriel.”

“No, I am not,” she said. “For she was not carrying a child when she died.”

I kissed her and would not let my lips leave hers because I did not want to talk about losing her or our child inside of her. I took her and I was determined to keep her from speaking another word. I was not going to let anyone or anything come between us. I was not going to let her go. My life meant nothing if I could not keep her safe from harm. Yet, I could not get the thought out of own mind.”--Excerpt from TKWR:BII The Saga of Thranduil by J.M.Miller 6-8-16