#interviewreflection

So I conducted my interview with a female colleague of mine and the interview topic I was assigned to was "dating." 

Going into the interview, I explained to her what my idea of dating was: two people who go on a physical date (usually more than once) to a set location who both have the intention of turning this particular date into a lasting, committed, relationship. I was told by my interviewee that such a definition, at least among youth today, applies more to "relationships" than to "dating." I did ask what the stage before dating was called, and unsurprisingly, she told me it was "hooking up"; two people engaging in un-committed, consensual sex (or sexual acts) that have no-strings-attached, and said people are fully aware that one sexual encounter (or many sexual encounters) will not lead into any kind of committed relationship. Again, I wasn't surprised by that answer. 

What I was surprised by, though, was that whether or not the hooking up goes from just hooking up to dating is dependent on the how the man (or the dominant person if it's a same-sex situation) feels. For example, she told me that how it works in her social setting is that if two people have been hooking up for a while and the girl starts to get feelings, it's up to the guy to determine if he'll reciprocate her feelings, or if he'll tell her he'll no longer hook up with her (because he doesn't have the same feelings). Just the same, if the guy and the girl have been hooking up for a while and he starts to get feelings, and he tells the girl he has feelings, by that time, the girl herself probably also has feelings; thus, the two start dating.