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I came to CSR because I wanted to make a difference. Small courses, flexible topics, creative opportunities meant that I could combine my areas of expertise in new and exciting ways. I learn so much from teaching and my students give me insight into my research as I try to work out ways to show the relevance of the past to our present. Santayanaās edict about those ignorant of the past repeating it seems more relevant all the time.
How will these faculty cuts change your life outside of Saint Rose? What would your life be without Saint Rose?
As I type this weāre hearing the beginning of the cuts. Colleagues who have been here for years, some who are new ā all gone. Saint Rose has been a part of this community for so long. Ever since I came here, when I mention working at Saint Rose, people always say someone in their family has gone there and they smile because āthey loved it!ā The college has provided a sanctuary for learning and people love it. When it becomes a part of the ācorporate supply chainā as the current administration intends, we wonāt hear that anymore.
As a person and not just a number, what aspects of your life and humanity do you feel are disregarded in the administrative decision making process?
Thereās a model at work in this country: corporate types manufacture a crisis, claim the only way to fix it is to let business take over. Itās all about the numbers, they tell us, but theyāre very careful about how they construct the numbers. Weāre told the current crisis has to do with a 7% budget shortfall. They keep repeating the number $9M because it sounds impressive. There are many ways to reduce the budget, but they donāt choose them. They rush the process, keep people in constant confusion and stress, and hope no one questions their numbers ā and refuse to listen when people do. Itās an ideological takeover. As citizens in a democracy, we have every reason to worry about this particularly in education, where our freedoms are being systematically undermined.
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What do you wish you could change about the way administration has been communicating with the faculty and students?
I wish there were far fewer top administrators and outside consultants who never speak to any of the faculty and students and show no interest in the mission of the college.
What has been your favorite part of working at the College of Saint Rose?
Tons of great students, many of whom have remained in touch, others who have become friends and colleagues as they go on with their careers. Great colleagues, many of whom I am heartbroken to find out this morning will be gone soon. Ā But Iām sure the real estate the administration is holding onto will prove much more valuable than the creative and intelligent scholars theyāre dumping in the bin today. I hope they enjoy their six figure salaries and the recommendations of those costly consulting firms.
The fifth interview of this series is with the incomparable chezchuckles. Ā Not only does she write wonderful fan fiction, sheās also done what many of us dream of: published her own novels. Ā I know from personal experience that she always graciously answers questions. Ā Hope you love this interview as much as I did.
FanFiction Name: chezchuckles
Twitter or other: @lily_bart Tumblr: writingwell
Why did you pick the name(s) you are using? Ā My favorite novel is Edith Whartonās House of Mirth, and the main character is Lily Bart. In college, I wrote a semester research paper on that novel and Lilyās self-sabotage when it comes to conforming to the conventions of society. So I chose a name to reflect my love of Lilyās (and Whartonās) struggle with womanhood in her culture. Concurrently, I was hanging out a lot in San Francisco with my aunt and uncle, and one summer we saw a flag in a window of one of those cute Victorian homes on a hill. The flag had a black cat on it and the words Chez Chuckles, and it just so happened that my aunt had nicknamed a homeless girl āChucklesā because the girl laughed at her every time she passed. Evil mirth, my aunt always said. So the flag, the novel I was deep into researching - these elements came together for me. Ā Chez = house of, Chuckles = mirth.
Place of birth: Memphis, TN
Where do you live now? Memphis! same
Anything you want to share about your life or family: I have been severely lucky - blessed with parents who felt it is important that I think for myself, that I never doubt whose I am, and that I always know Iām loved. My brother is younger than me, and we got in a lot of fights as kids, but now we live together, and weāre friends, impossibly, hanging out and concerts and support. Heās sarcastic as hell, and so am I - my whole family is, and I think it gave me the ability to not take myself so seriously. Which means criticism or praise, nastiness or ebullience, I know who I am, and I know whatās important in life.
Job: library assistant at a school
What do you like to do in your spare time, besides writing? um. writing. oh, no, wait, Iām a huge baseball fan. SF Giants are my team and Iām watching the game or listening to it on the radio all season long. In the winter, Iām a shell of my former self, pining away for the day pitchers and catchers report to spring training. (Which is often in February, thank God for baseball).
How did you become a fan of Castle? I was a huge fan of Firefly, love science fiction a LOT, and when I saw Nathan Fillion was going to be on a regular show - and that he was a WRITER - I watched from the first episode. Which had some moments but wasnāt impressing me a whole lot. By the time they got to āA Chill Runs Through Her Veinsā, I knew that the writers and actors were seriously good, and that this was going to be awesome.
Favorite episode(s): Nikki Heat. Every single element of that episode was done brilliantly.
How did you discover fan fiction? Ha. It was 1995, I was fifteen, and The X-Files had me tied up in knots. You donāt know UST if you donāt know TXF. (Unresolved Sexual Tension). I found two friends in high school, all of us total dorks, and we fangirled over that show so hard (though we didnāt have that word then, it was just being a total dork). My friend Jen told me there was this listserv I could subscribe to and theyād send me X-Files stories in my email. I had to use my dadās email address because we had only just gotten a family computer. I was already writing my own stories in a notebook, just like Iād done for Star Trek: TNG and Lois and Clark and pretty much everything I ever loved, including My Little Ponies and Barbie. When I got on the xfcreative listserv, I didnāt have any doubt that I was going to be sending in my own stories. It never occurred to me to be nervous or afraid because it was all online; no one on the listserv seemed real. Online was very much about anonymity then, and you were anyone you wanted to be - and I wanted to be a writer. So. I sent in my stories and they were then sent out to everyone and the rest is history.
When did you start writing? I kinda answered this already, but the when of writing is a mystery. Iāve always done it, though I didnāt know I was. But a pivotal moment for me was in 11th grade. My high school English teacher, Ms Garrison, made me stay after class to tell me you have talent; write me a poem. Poetry seemed alien and impossible, but she showed me how, and gave me the confidence to believe that writing was a real thing. It wasnāt just daydreams Iād written down in notebooks because a tv show didnāt go the way I liked. It was real, and it was art, and I could do it.
Have you written anything for other fandoms? Online? Just for The X-Files, as RocketMan over there. All of that is on the Gossamer Archive, from my little fifteen year-old heartās drivel to my college pieces that were more about what I was learning about myself and the craft of writing.
How do you come up with your story ideas? God. The muse. Life. Sometimes prompts on tumblr, though thatās only been recently. Usually I see a scene in my head, and I write to get there and make it make sense. Sometimes itās just a line or phrase that resonates in my own psyche, a sense of thatās true, and I have to write it, give it voice.
How long does it take you to write a typical chapter? Ā Depends on how long it is, but about 2000 words is an hour. My chapters can be 1200 words (most Dash is that) to 5000 (Spy), so it varies, but when Iām in it, deep in it, I just write and write and write. Hours. Switching between different fics and original works and poetry, getting out whatever it is thatās gotten agitated or trapped in me.
Which of your fics has been the most popular? Hard to say. Dashiellās story in Dash Away, his issues and his familyās attempt to help him and each other, has gotten the most poignant responses. A lot of people telling me that they themselves have those issues or that their children do, and they had no idea! Dash is based off my work as a behavioral aide with a boy with autism, and while Dash isnāt autistic, he has sensory integration disorder (SID) which is often a component of autism. A lot of people have sensory integration struggles, though they donāt know thatās whatās going on, and reading Dash has given them a way to understand it and cope with it. Iāve met and become friends with a lot of those people, and itās been life-changing.
Pick 2-3 of your stories and take us deeper into the process. Ā Any frustrations or proud moments? Where did the idea come from, what were you trying to accomplish, etc. Ā Oh, good question. Wow. Okay. Iāll start with an early series, the Federal Heat collection. The first story in that universe was āOne and Done?ā which was mostly a heart-to-heart between Alexis and Kate. I was incredibly frustrated by the showās character development as it pertained to Alexis. I had really liked her, and I had felt like she was a lot like me at the age, and then she became uppity and dismissive towards her father. And Castle let her. So I wanted to understand both this version of Alexis and also the view Beckett held of Castle at that time (she softened to him when she saw him as a father, and I was really exploring that). Once Iād written One and Done?, I wanted to keep going in that universe, to take them further from that new point, and so the next three stories happened. Which had plot, actually things happening, rather than just a character vignette because vignettes arenāt sustainable long-term. Those plots - especially Federal Heat - were an exercise in writing discipline. I knew my plots were weak and I wanted to push myself. So I posted each chapter as I wrote it, about every other day, and I kept painting myself into corners. Since it was on the fly, I had to work hard to get myself out of that corner, so it was a really successful series for me.
Last story you wrote, or current if publishing? Current is Dashverse: āThe Giving Storeā, āPath to Paradiseā a sequel to Season in Hell, Ā round robin āObjects in Motionā, and writing Spy 29, Spy Trauma (an AU), and original novel.
Advice to new authors or people thinking about writing? Always! Writing is a passion. If you find yourself wanting to run home to your laptop or carrying a pen and notebook with you (or fine, pulling out your phone), then youāre hooked. Itās all you need to start - inspiration. Donāt worry about how good or not good you are, donāt worry about grammar or how it looks to everyone else, just write. WRITE. And Iām not saying fiction. Itās become apparent to me that I have the tendency to appear like I value fiction writing over all others, but itās not true. Write letters. Write journal entries. Write poetry. Write notes from a good class or speech. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Secondly, READ. Read good literature, good books. Donāt read fanfiction to fuel your writing. Fanfiction can only give you the old tropes and stereotypes of the genre/show. Thereās a reason everyone says that Kate tilted her head to give him access or that Scully has a Mona Lisa smile. Youāve read it before. But how will you ever write their encounter with fresh, sparkling words if youāre reading all of us writing āgive him accessā and āMona Lisa smileā over and over? Read literature because itās beautiful, itās right, and itās giving you the forms and structures unconsciously that you will need when you come to write your own work. What goes in must come out. Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā Finally, self-consciousness is your enemy. Stop caring what people think about you. A writer is a prophet, persecuted in her home town. A writer puts the truth in words, and sometimes the truth hurts. The word is a sword, living and active, and its blade is sharp. What you write might not be popular, but the story inside you needs out. The story needs a writer, and youāve been chosen. Honor it as the truth, and set it down faithfully. If no one sees it as the truth, you have still listened to the voice and followed the call. You have done right by the truth. If people make comments, if people donāt understand it or they hate on you, flame you, youāve done your job, youāve done right by the truth: the words have pulled a response out of that reader, involuntarily. Indifference is the death knell.
Something you think will surprise most people about you? I donāt believe that the stories are mine. Not just because itās fan fiction, based on a world I didnāt create, but because it is ALL based on a world I didnāt create. Iām a created thing, not the creator. How can you buy or sell the sky? Ā Itās an ideal, and itās also not practical for real-world living, and I understand that. I also understand that itās not the way most authors feel about their writing. And I respect their words as their own. But I canāt manage it for myself. I canāt claim ownership.
Anything else youād like people to know? I can be reached via twitter or tumblr at any moment. Itās difficult to check while at work, but have patience. I love to talk about writing, about relationships/friendships, about struggles. I feel like thatās part of why Iām here on earth and since Iām so good at writing it down, Iām way better in email.
Finally, please name a few authors youād nominate to be interviewed.Ā Ā Iām not sure who else youāve already lined up, so Iāll pick some people not on the main roll. Muppet47 is hilarious and kind, which are two characteristics I admire. Griever11 has an interesting and enthusiastic view of life and work. And Dave-ck is a guy with wit and self-deprecation, which would be a fresh perspective. Otherwise, a lot of the people I know have ended up moving on from fanfic and are doing other things. In some ways I feel a little left behind, but it means there are new friendships beginning, and I feel very grateful for those.
End of interview
Thank you so much, chezchuckles! Ā Tomorrowās interview will be with Hunsdon.
Before I end, just a few housekeeping things. Ā Iām publishing these in the order I receive them back from the interviewees. Ā If your name is listed in the last question, then I have tried to contact youātypically on tumblr or twitter, but PMs on ffnet occasionally as well. Ā There are some authors whoāve chosen not to participate. Ā Itās all for fun, after all, and not everyone wants to be quite so exposed, so to speak. Ā Thank you for reading and I hope youāre enjoying learning more about the awesome authors in this fandom.