#interview 5

FanFiction Name: chezchuckles

Twitter or other: @lily_bart Tumblr: writingwell

Why did you pick the name(s) you are using?  My favorite novel is Edith Wharton’s House of Mirth, and the main character is Lily Bart. In college, I wrote a semester research paper on that novel and Lily’s self-sabotage when it comes to conforming to the conventions of society. So I chose a name to reflect my love of Lily’s (and Wharton’s) struggle with womanhood in her culture. Concurrently, I was hanging out a lot in San Francisco with my aunt and uncle, and one summer we saw a flag in a window of one of those cute Victorian homes on a hill. The flag had a black cat on it and the words Chez Chuckles, and it just so happened that my aunt had nicknamed a homeless girl ‘Chuckles’ because the girl laughed at her every time she passed. Evil mirth, my aunt always said. So the flag, the novel I was deep into researching - these elements came together for me.  Chez = house of, Chuckles = mirth.

Place of birth: Memphis, TN

Where do you live now? Memphis! same

Anything you want to share about your life or family: I have been severely lucky - blessed with parents who felt it is important that I think for myself, that I never doubt whose I am, and that I always know I’m loved. My brother is younger than me, and we got in a lot of fights as kids, but now we live together, and we’re friends, impossibly, hanging out and concerts and support. He’s sarcastic as hell, and so am I - my whole family is, and I think it gave me the ability to not take myself so seriously. Which means criticism or praise, nastiness or ebullience, I know who I am, and I know what’s important in life.

Job: library assistant at a school

What do you like to do in your spare time, besides writing? um. writing. oh, no, wait, I’m a huge baseball fan. SF Giants are my team and I’m watching the game or listening to it on the radio all season long. In the winter, I’m a shell of my former self, pining away for the day pitchers and catchers report to spring training. (Which is often in February, thank God for baseball).

How did you become a fan of Castle? I was a huge fan of Firefly, love science fiction a LOT, and when I saw Nathan Fillion was going to be on a regular show - and that he was a WRITER - I watched from the first episode. Which had some moments but wasn’t impressing me a whole lot. By the time they got to ‘A Chill Runs Through Her Veins’, I knew that the writers and actors were seriously good, and that this was going to be awesome.

Favorite episode(s): Nikki Heat. Every single element of that episode was done brilliantly.

How did you discover fan fiction? Ha. It was 1995, I was fifteen, and The X-Files had me tied up in knots. You don’t know UST if you don’t know TXF. (Unresolved Sexual Tension). I found two friends in high school, all of us total dorks, and we fangirled over that show so hard (though we didn’t have that word then, it was just being a total dork). My friend Jen told me there was this listserv I could subscribe to and they’d send me X-Files stories in my email. I had to use my dad’s email address because we had only just gotten a family computer. I was already writing my own stories in a notebook, just like I’d done for Star Trek: TNG and Lois and Clark and pretty much everything I ever loved, including My Little Ponies and Barbie. When I got on the xfcreative listserv, I didn’t have any doubt that I was going to be sending in my own stories. It never occurred to me to be nervous or afraid because it was all online; no one on the listserv seemed real. Online was very much about anonymity then, and you were anyone you wanted to be - and I wanted to be a writer. So. I sent in my stories and they were then sent out to everyone and the rest is history.

When did you start writing? I kinda answered this already, but the when of writing is a mystery. I’ve always done it, though I didn’t know I was. But a pivotal moment for me was in 11th grade. My high school English teacher, Ms Garrison, made me stay after class to tell me you have talent; write me a poem. Poetry seemed alien and impossible, but she showed me how, and gave me the confidence to believe that writing was a real thing. It wasn’t just daydreams I’d written down in notebooks because a tv show didn’t go the way I liked. It was real, and it was art, and I could do it.

Have you written anything for other fandoms? Online? Just for The X-Files, as RocketMan over there. All of that is on the Gossamer Archive, from my little fifteen year-old heart’s drivel to my college pieces that were more about what I was learning about myself and the craft of writing.

How do you come up with your story ideas? God. The muse. Life. Sometimes prompts on tumblr, though that’s only been recently. Usually I see a scene in my head, and I write to get there and make it make sense. Sometimes it’s just a line or phrase that resonates in my own psyche, a sense of that’s true, and I have to write it, give it voice.

How long does it take you to write a typical chapter?  Depends on how long it is, but about 2000 words is an hour. My chapters can be 1200 words (most Dash is that) to 5000 (Spy), so it varies, but when I’m in it, deep in it, I just write and write and write. Hours. Switching between different fics and original works and poetry, getting out whatever it is that’s gotten agitated or trapped in me.

Which of your fics has been the most popular? Hard to say. Dashiell’s story in Dash Away, his issues and his family’s attempt to help him and each other, has gotten the most poignant responses. A lot of people telling me that they themselves have those issues or that their children do, and they had no idea! Dash is based off my work as a behavioral aide with a boy with autism, and while Dash isn’t autistic, he has sensory integration disorder (SID) which is often a component of autism. A lot of people have sensory integration struggles, though they don’t know that’s what’s going on, and reading Dash has given them a way to understand it and cope with it. I’ve met and become friends with a lot of those people, and it’s been life-changing.

Pick 2-3 of your stories and take us deeper into the process.  Any frustrations or proud moments? Where did the idea come from, what were you trying to accomplish, etc.  Oh, good question. Wow. Okay. I’ll start with an early series, the Federal Heat collection. The first story in that universe was ‘One and Done?’ which was mostly a heart-to-heart between Alexis and Kate. I was incredibly frustrated by the show’s character development as it pertained to Alexis. I had really liked her, and I had felt like she was a lot like me at the age, and then she became uppity and dismissive towards her father. And Castle let her. So I wanted to understand both this version of Alexis and also the view Beckett held of Castle at that time (she softened to him when she saw him as a father, and I was really exploring that). Once I’d written One and Done?, I wanted to keep going in that universe, to take them further from that new point, and so the next three stories happened. Which had plot, actually things happening, rather than just a character vignette because vignettes aren’t sustainable long-term. Those plots - especially Federal Heat - were an exercise in writing discipline. I knew my plots were weak and I wanted to push myself. So I posted each chapter as I wrote it, about every other day, and I kept painting myself into corners. Since it was on the fly, I had to work hard to get myself out of that corner, so it was a really successful series for me.

Last story you wrote, or current if publishing? Current is Dashverse: ‘The Giving Store’, ‘Path to Paradise‘ a sequel to Season in Hell,  round robin ‘Objects in Motion’, and writing Spy 29, Spy Trauma (an AU), and original novel.

Advice to new authors or people thinking about writing? Always! Writing is a passion. If you find yourself wanting to run home to your laptop or carrying a pen and notebook with you (or fine, pulling out your phone), then you’re hooked. It’s all you need to start - inspiration. Don’t worry about how good or not good you are, don’t worry about grammar or how it looks to everyone else, just write. WRITE. And I’m not saying fiction. It’s become apparent to me that I have the tendency to appear like I value fiction writing over all others, but it’s not true. Write letters. Write journal entries. Write poetry. Write notes from a good class or speech.                                                                                        Secondly, READ. Read good literature, good books. Don’t read fanfiction to fuel your writing. Fanfiction can only give you the old tropes and stereotypes of the genre/show. There’s a reason everyone says that Kate tilted her head to give him access or that Scully has a Mona Lisa smile. You’ve read it before. But how will you ever write their encounter with fresh, sparkling words if you’re reading all of us writing ‘give him access’ and ‘Mona Lisa smile’ over and over? Read literature because it’s beautiful, it’s right, and it’s giving you the forms and structures unconsciously that you will need when you come to write your own work. What goes in must come out.                                                          Finally, self-consciousness is your enemy. Stop caring what people think about you. A writer is a prophet, persecuted in her home town. A writer puts the truth in words, and sometimes the truth hurts. The word is a sword, living and active, and its blade is sharp. What you write might not be popular, but the story inside you needs out. The story needs a writer, and you’ve been chosen. Honor it as the truth, and set it down faithfully. If no one sees it as the truth, you have still listened to the voice and followed the call. You have done right by the truth. If people make comments, if people don’t understand it or they hate on you, flame you, you’ve done your job, you’ve done right by the truth: the words have pulled a response out of that reader, involuntarily. Indifference is the death knell.

Something you think will surprise most people about you? I don’t believe that the stories are mine. Not just because it’s fan fiction, based on a world I didn’t create, but because it is ALL based on a world I didn’t create. I’m a created thing, not the creator. How can you buy or sell the sky?  It’s an ideal, and it’s also not practical for real-world living, and I understand that. I also understand that it’s not the way most authors feel about their writing. And I respect their words as their own. But I can’t manage it for myself. I can’t claim ownership.

Anything else you’d like people to know? I can be reached via twitter or tumblr at any moment. It’s difficult to check while at work, but have patience. I love to talk about writing, about relationships/friendships, about struggles. I feel like that’s part of why I’m here on earth and since I’m so good at writing it down, I’m way better in email.

Finally, please name a few authors you’d nominate to be interviewed.   I’m not sure who else you’ve already lined up, so I’ll pick some people not on the main roll. Muppet47 is hilarious and kind, which are two characteristics I admire. Griever11 has an interesting and enthusiastic view of life and work. And Dave-ck is a guy with wit and self-deprecation, which would be a fresh perspective. Otherwise, a lot of the people I know have ended up moving on from fanfic and are doing other things. In some ways I feel a little left behind, but it means there are new friendships beginning, and I feel very grateful for those.

End of interview

Thank you so much, chezchuckles!  Tomorrow’s interview will be with Hunsdon.

Before I end, just a few housekeeping things.  I’m publishing these in the order I receive them back from the interviewees.  If your name is listed in the last question, then I have tried to contact you–typically on tumblr or twitter, but PMs on ffnet occasionally as well.  There are some authors who’ve chosen not to participate.  It’s all for fun, after all, and not everyone wants to be quite so exposed, so to speak.  Thank you for reading and I hope you’re enjoying learning more about the awesome authors in this fandom.