I Want to Date an Internet Entrepeneur
Now this one is a little tricky, because technically, I have a perfectly good boyfriend. If I really take stock, he's actually pretty great. We pretty much like all the same stuff. I don't really care that he insists on telling me the whole plot of "Breaking Bad" very late at night or very early in the morning. He's made peace with the fact that NPR sometimes makes me cry for hours at a time. We have it pretty good.Â
But how much better would that all be if he had invented PINTERST? OR TWITTER? Yes. I wish my boyfriend had invented Twitter. I'm sure he wishes the same of me.Â
I just think it would allow me a lifestyle that I've always really thought I would truly excel at - one of absolute leisure. This is what I think it would look like:Â
1. I would re-locate to Silicon Valley. Because what's so great about So Cal anyway? They got Redwoods up there and big bridges and actual weather. And I just casually perused some Silicon Valley real estate sites and the automatic minimum asking price when I started my search was $5,000,000. I think I'd fit right in.Â
2. I would take up cycling. And probably eat organic. Wear a lot of loose cotton in neutral shades. Maybe garden, but let's not go nuts. I would need something not-too-taxing to fill my time, because I would have no idea what my boyfriend does for a living, and we'd have to talk about something when he comes home at the end of a long day...writing code? I don't know.Â
3. I would go to quiet, restrained parties where everyone would be on their iPad the whole time. There'd be a lot of murmuring about how well Google+ is actually doing and Facebook's I.P.O. A quiet, awed hush would fall over the room if Tim Cook deigned to grace us with his presence. And I would just drink all of the good California Chardonnay in the room and try to angle for a free Kindle Fire. I wish every party I went to was like that. Â
4. I would donate to charities. Because after I had my Prius detailed, what the hell else would I do with all my (or more accurately, my boyfriend's) money?Â
5. I would finally meet Ashton Kutcher. He's up there a lot, like, investing in Square and stuff, right? I could finally live out my dream of being in one of his digital camera commercials.Â

















