#internal comms

Group chat identified: #pilots_palace

Participants: @pilot (ACTIVE), @pilates (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @pâte (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @pie_latte (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @pilotis (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @prime_lamb (UNIT - ACTIVE), @D0N0R (GHOST)

@pilot: anyone else remember when @pie_latte swapped the flight sim controls and we all nosedived into the virtual sea? 😂

@prime_lamb: Hard to forget. Virtual ocean smell lingered for days. 🌊

@pilot: yeah, good times. gotta be dead to appreciate that stink now, like most of you lot…

@prime_lamb: Yes. Miss those days.

@pilot: @pâte would’ve had a meltdown over these new jet packs. lighter doesn’t mean better! almost ate shit today 🪂

@prime_lamb: Engineers. Always lighter equals smarter.

@D0N0R: I MISS THE OLD DAYS OF TESTING EQUIPMENT. EVEN THE FAILURES WERE FUN. 😢

@pilot: @pilotis would’ve pulled some batshit crazy stunt with these packs, remember the barrel roll incident?

@prime_lamb: Almost took out half the hangar with that one. 🤯

@pilot: @pie_latte always knew how to lighten the mood after our mess-ups

@prime_lamb: Miss their jokes.

@D0N0R: THEY ALWAYS PULLED OFF THE IMPOSSIBLE. 😔

@pilot: it's so fucking quiet here now without them. feels like we're talking to ghosts sometimes.

@D0N0R: LITERALLY.

[Image of the team mid-barrel roll, laughing in the cockpit]

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Group chat identified: #did_ensign_up_for_this

Participants: @Ensignificant (ACTIVE), @EnsignificantOther (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @EnsignMeUp (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @EnsignOut (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @EnsignificantLoss (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED)

@Ensignificant: guys, mess hall served mystery meat again 🤢

@Ensignificant: @EnsignificantOther, u still owe me for that poker game

@Ensignificant: @EnsignMeUp, bet u got lost in the armory again 🤣

@Ensignificant: @EnsignOut, remember when u fell asleep standing during inspection? 😂

@Ensignificant: anyone miss getting yelled at for the smallest things? 😅

@Ensignificant: @EnsignificantLoss, u always had the worst luck with gear, still can't believe that helmet exploded on you during the test run 😬

@Ensignificant: guess u guys don’t have to deal with the sergeant’s temper anymore

@Ensignificant: miss the chaos, the noise, the… everything

[Image of the team during a poker game, laughing and throwing cards around]

@Ensignificant: u guys were the best

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Group chat identified: #saving_private_ryan

Participants: @PrivateRyan (ACTIVE), @Privateer (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @PrivateJoker (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @PrivateEyes (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED)

@PrivateRyan: got lost in the armory again. classic 😂

@PrivateRyan: @Privateer, u always found the way out. miss that.

@PrivateRyan: @PrivateJoker, ur jokes were the worst but damn i miss them.

@PrivateRyan: @PrivateEyes, u had the best eyesight in the squad, still can’t believe u missed that last shot 😅

@PrivateRyan: miss having u guys around to save my sorry ass

@PrivateRyan: anyone remember the time @Privateer got stuck in the tank hatch? we had to pull him out for hours! 😂

[Shaky video of @Privateer stuck in the tank hatch, everyone laughing hysterically]

@PrivateRyan: wish u guys were here to laugh at my mess-ups

@PrivateRyan: and of course, to save me

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Group chat identified: #wrecked_recruits

Participants: @WreckItRalph (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @Reckless (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @RecRoom (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED), @NervousReck (ACTIVE), @RecCycle (ACCOUNT DEACTIVATED)

@NervousReck: tripped over my laces again 😅

@NervousReck: @WreckItRalph, u always laughed the hardest at that 😂

@NervousReck: @Reckless, remember when u fell down the stairs? missed seeing that

@NervousReck: @RecRoom, u always got stuck in the weirdest places, miss those rescues

@NervousReck: anyone remember the time @RecCycle tried to impress the sergeant and ended up crashing the entire simulation room? 😂

@NervousReck

: this place is too quiet without u all

[Video of team laughing as @RecRoom gets stuck in a vent]

@NervousReck: guess i'm the only wreck left

@NervousReck: it’s lonely being the last one standing

@ColonelSanders: anyone else sick of paperwork? feels like drowning in a sea of ink 📄🖋️

@ColonelPanic: tell me about it. my desk looks like a paper avalanche hit it 🗻😩

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelSanders, at least u got a sea. I got a whole ocean of it. 🏊‍♂️

@ColonelKernel: LOL remember that time @ColonelSanders tripped over her stack of reports? almost got buried alive. 😂

@ColonelSanders: hey, i survived. just barely. 😅

@ColonelPanic: worse than the time we had to crawl through that duct to fix the coolant leak? 🌬️❄️

@ColonelMustard: nothing beats getting stuck in a duct with @ColonelKernel farting the whole time. 🤢

@ColonelKernel: wasn’t me, i swear! must've been the beans. 🌶️

@ColonelPanic: yeah, right. and i'm the tooth fairy. 🧚‍♂️

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelKernel, your beans could power a starship. 💨🚀

@ColonelKernel: better than the time @ColonelSanders got a plasma burn on her backside. 🍑🔥

@ColonelSanders: ugh, don’t remind me. couldn’t sit down for a week. 😂

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelPanic, how’s ur knee? still acting up? ⚡

@ColonelPanic: yeah, thanks for asking. doc says i gotta take it easy. just what i need, more time with the paperwork. 😒

@ColonelSanders: i’ll trade u. u can take my next drill session. 😜

@ColonelPanic: deal. anything to escape the ink flood. 🏊‍♂️

@ColonelMustard: speaking of drills, who remembers that time @ColonelKernel almost blew up the training room? 💥

@ColonelKernel: oh come on, that was one time! and we didn’t lose anyone important. 😅

@ColonelPanic: except for @ColonelSanders’ eyebrows. 😂

@ColonelSanders: hey, they grew back. eventually. 😜

@ColonelMustard: @ColonelKernel, what’s with the corn obsession? 🍿

@ColonelKernel: well, i figure if we’re gonna be colonels, might as well embrace the cob. 🌽

@ColonelSanders: LOL, @ColonelKernel, u are something else. 😆

@ColonelPanic: just another day on the cob, right? 🌽🧀

@ColonelMustard: better than being fried. 🍗

@ColonelSanders: or roasted. 🍖

@ColonelPanic: or popped. 🍿

@ColonelKernel: let's just hope we don't end up buttered. 🧈

@ColonelMustard: now that's a sticky situation. 😅

@ColonelKernel: remember when @ColonelPanic got stuck in the reactor room and almost became popcorn? 🍿😂

@ColonelPanic: oh god, that was terrifying. thought i was gonna pop right there. 😅

@ColonelSanders: better than the time we almost got creamed during that ambush. 🌽💥

@ColonelMustard: yeah, that was a real corny situation. 😉

@ColonelKernel: i guess we just have to stick together, kernels on a cob. 🌽

@Ensignificant: ok, who else is trying to figure out wtf half these buttons do? 🤔

@EnsignMeUp: seriously, I’m just glad i haven’t accidentally launched anything into space yet. 🚀💥

@EnsignificantOther: yeah, last thing we need is another satellite collision on our record. 😂🛰️💫

@EnsignOut: LOL, remember when @EnsignMeUp tried to use the comms and ended up broadcasting to the entire ship? 🎙️

@EnsignMeUp: hey, it was an important announcement! everyone needed to know that we were out of coffee. 😂☕️

@Ensignificant: true, but announcing your bathroom break to the entire ship was next level. 🚻💩

@EnsignMeUp: better than @Ensignificant’s DOODY rotation slip. i thought the captain was gonna die laughing. 😂

@EnsignOut: speaking of rotations, how’s that new duty rotation going, @Ensignificant? still figuring it out? 📋

@Ensignificant: yeah, it’s a bit of a mess. but at least I haven’t blown anything up yet. 😅

@EnsignificantOther: yet. keyword. 😆

@EnsignMeUp: anyone else excited for the new training modules? 📚

@EnsignOut: yeah, can’t wait to see what fresh hell they’ve cooked up for us. 😂

@Ensignificant: hopefully something that doesn’t involve crawling through ducts. again. 🛠️

@EnsignificantOther: or getting covered in goo. 🤢

@EnsignMeUp: ugh, don’t remind me. still getting that stuff out of my hair. 😩

@EnsignOut: welcome to the fleet. where you get to play with buttons and hope nothing blows up. 🎉

@Ensignificant: at least we’re not recruits. 😂

@EnsignificantOther: amen to that. 😆

@EnsignMeUp: here’s to not getting vaporized. 🥂