#instinct cbs

i often struggle with watching movies, but man, TV shows hit different. They are formatted perfectly to allow for a consistent viewing routine that makes my brain buzz. Every night after dinner I watch an episode of my current show. Every night, I get the next chapter of the story, and when I spend a couple weeks to a couple months on a show (depending on its length) it becomes so familiar while still delivering new and interesting content every time.

I love getting to know characters over long periods of time. I love seeing them on screen for many more hours than I would in a singular film, learning their beats and feeling connected to them and the weird feeling that makes me think of them like they're real people even though I know in my brain that they aren't. It's what lets me write convincing fanfiction about them. I learn their voices so well that I can imitate them with great success.

TV is one of the most looked-down-upon modes of entertainment (it's mindless, it's what the people in apocalyptic narratives are addicted to, the television drones on while real life passes them by) but I just want to defend it as an art form that adds value to my life. The most meaningful scenes in a show will stick in my memory and change my mind about something or make me think about it differently or give me advice that I remember and follow. Those scenes inspire me and teach me about being human.

I don't know if it's a bad thing that I choose TV shows as my hyperfixations and spend months to years thinking about their characters every single day. I guess it's just part of autism and part of me. I do often find myself disliking the ends of shows because they are so rarely ever the happy ending I want. The couple doesn't get together or the person's dreams don't work out because the writers (maybe rightly) think that says something more meaningful about life than letting the ending be purely happy.