Dear invisible illness, Today you wrapped your hands around my throat And my lungs felt so heavy. It felt like I was gasping for air, but no one could see that I wasn’t breathing easy. Today you put on your metal gloves and repeatedly punched me in the stomach. I will not wake up with bruises, and no one will ever know that it felt as though my insides were one shaky breath from spilling out. Today you found my heart, and you squeezed. It felt like a balloon was about to pop in my chest, but no one knew. No one ever knows. When there are no marks to show for the abuse I suffer at your hands each day, there is no proof that you are here. When I can’t get out of bed tomorrow, I will be called lazy, dramatic, or a fake. I will hear things like - you don’t look sick. You don’t know what sickness feels like. You have never been this sick or that sick. You don’t let people see you. So it looks like I’m seeking attention or grasping for excuses as to why I can’t participate in life some days. The doctors say I’m fine, my numbers are just slightly elevated but nothing to be concerned about. My blood tests come back normal. And they seem just as lost as I am. “If you really are sick, just try these antibiotics “ “If you really felt that way, I don’t think you’d be here” “If you are always sick, why don’t you look sick, act sick, sound sick?” This invisible illness, or illnesses - they keep me in this box. And of course, I want out, but I want to know what kind of box this is. I want to see the face of the illness that puts me down for the count too many times to be counted. Dear invisible Illness, You may be able to make me feel things I cannot explain, but you cannot take away my will to live in spite of you. Sincerely, Living Anyway. -AshleyAnne #invisibleillness #youdontlooksick #ashleyanne #aarpoetry #dear #letter #inspiteofyou #inspiteofmyillness #prose #creativewriting #feels #relatable #poetess #bereal #keepingitreal #instagood #instaillness https://www.instagram.com/p/B2SiPRghZ8U/?igshid=19sj4a91n6hpx