#insincerely

so, basically, she’s talking about how my average went down to an 81 because of two zeros and she doesn’t care that i didn’t know about them. it’s just ‘you won’t be able to make it up, and colleges are going to be looking for higher grades‘ and bla bla bla, and i take everything in stride and go, ‘okay, well if it turns out i can’t make this up, then the nine weeks test will bring it up and make it better’

apparently keeping a level head when faced with an issue rather than panicking and getting worked up equates to ‘i don’t give a shit’

she gets more upset with my response, and raises her voice, bitching about how me not caring is the problem and my grades would be better if i actually cared and didn’t shrug it all off

normally, having someone raise their voice at me and use that tone of ‘you’ve done something wrong’, that would have me cowering and i‘d do my best to make them calm down.

not this time. i raise my voice at her too, and told her to basically fuck off. something like ‘just because i don’t express worry as much as you do, that doesn’t mean i don’t care, of course i care about it, my grades would be below rock bottom if i didn’t care. would you rather i get worked up and waste time having anxiety attacks over and over?’

and she shut up, like, she lost all her steam and just looked at me like i fuckin hit her or something and then she starts back-tracking, ‘i didn’t know that’ and ‘i was just making sure you were aware’ and i do the moody teenage ‘whatever’ and put my earbuds in, but like, internally, along with all my panic from the raised voices, im so fucking proud of myself because im finally doing it, im putting up all the shit she knocked down.