#insiidious

insiidious asked:

[  fear  ]  sender  finds  receiver  having  a  nightmare ( levi && erwin )

nonverbal  meme  prompts

[  fear  ]  sender  finds  receiver  having  a  nightmare

tw: murder

HE HAD PROMISED.  He had promised he'd kill him. He'd give meaning to their sacrifice, and stop him. For a moment of hesitation, a moment where sentiment clouded his judgement, he'd pay. How many lives had he taken ? How many Levi sent to their death —  to HIS death —  for a sole chance to end the Beast? How many died after, because of his failure ? Leading a life with no regrets was the one he had chosen for himself, and maybe, now was the time to face the result of his choices. For turning HIM into a devil, when the REAL one had always been him. Erwin's only crime was SAVING him. Saving him, when he had silently accepted death. When he had recognized himself as who he really was, and maybe for the first time, because of the death of the last of his family. The darkness within him Erwin had tried to erase, replacing it with numbness. Giving him a new life, one with no pain, or despair. The life of a servant. Slaves, Kenny called the ones chasing their dreams, but the Ackerman wasn't any different. It was his dreams he chased, and now, in this new given chance at living, it was happiness he sought.

It was Levi's choice, to die with Erwin and his dreams, and be reborn when they'd find each other in another life, in a brighter world. In a world that hadn't known the fear of being eaten. Right when he had found life once more, letting the sun reach his heart, maybe for the first time. How ridiculous he was, to even think he was deserving of a second chance. That was when his past would come knocking on his door, reminding him, he hadn't settled the score yet. That the war, had never been over.  

That'd make it the first time in years — in hundreds of years — that'd Levi sleep with a knife underneath his pillow. The last few days, since that moment, he hadn't slept at all. Catching a few hours of sleep was the result of pills and yet, it was only two hours he could find rest. Reason fought against his gut instinct telling him they were in danger and the moment he'd let his guard down, he'd take advantage of it. He'd watch him walk into his tea shop, wearing the same mocking expression he always had, unable to do anything. He'd shake hands with Erwin, even though his eyes never left his own. It was a miracle he hadn't sliced his throat open the moment he saw him. If it wasn't for him, he probably would have. Erwin's ignorance of the Beast's identity was what had saved Zeke. Because he didn't want him to be reminded of anything to connect them to that hellish day, where both battled with themselves, in an attempt to beat the enemy. The enemy to have now appeared in front of him, as if wanting to make fun of him.  

Hands grasped at the neck of his shirt, pulling tight till the seams were ripped out. Arching his back, he'd curse on his sleep, shaking his head. “ Bastard! ” He'd see himself lying at the side of the river, unable to move, blood blinding his vision. His own blood. He'd sense the falling rain on his body, eyes set on the figure walking away in the distance. “ I promised! ” His body moved on its own. Before even opening his eyes, his hand grabbed at the knife, moving faster than he could think. He stopped only an inch from his neck, when eyes finally flew open to meet with his blue ones. Erwin was alive. He wasn't dead, YET. He stared at the knife and then at his own hand. For a second, shock was written on his face, at the sight of his index and middle missing. He must be dreaming. Couldn't be right. “ Get off me, ” he mumbled, throwing aside the covers and pushing him off his body. Sitting up, turning his back on him, he'd dig his nails on his knees, searching for proof that he was awake. He could barely feel it, as he broke the skin and blood started falling on his legs. His mind must be playing tricks on him.

Since he saw the Beast, his head was in a fog. Was it the lack of sleep, the memories, the emotions awoken? He was feeling helpless, alone to suffer, as he'd search for the right course of action. Because he couldn't do this to him. He couldn't ask him to turn into a devil once more, for his sake. A moment of clarity was all he needed. Suddenly, he knew exactly what needed to be done. The only choice he had, if wanting to cut bonds with the past. For the innocent blood spilled, he'd now have to pay by dirtying his hands once more. If they wanted to escape from this never-ending circle of suffering, one had to be prepared to do ANYTHING. The only enemy he ever lost to. His only order he failed to complete. This was the time, to make things right. “ I'm taking a walk. ” He stood up, barely paying him any mind. He had to contact Kenny.

insiidious asked:

“shh, shh. you were having a nightmare.” (( eren !!

post - trauma sentence starters 

“shh, shh. you were having a nightmare.”

Sleep was overrated. Levi always believed that. For nothing but a fake sense of rest, it could put even the most powerful men on their backs. Living on the underground, he always had to be on alert. Letting his guard down even for a moment could give someone the opening to slice his throat. Since he had joined the Corps, he'd find it easier to rest a little longer but he'd never allow himself to fall into deep sleep. Except this once.

As if they hadn't already been living in a nightmare, his mind chose this only time he'd sleep longer than an hour without waking up in between to bring up the darkest memories of his past. The experiences which had turned him into who he was now, were replayed in his head, forcing him to go through the same pain all over again. What for? What was the point?

His eyes were suddenly opened wide to meet with Eren's. He listened to the other's soothing voice, focusing on present time and trying to slow down his breathing. It was just a dream. He was at the same place from when he last close his eyes. The other reassured him of that, helping him ground himself faster than he would if he was by himself. He wasn't about to admit that, though. “ Are you the kind of creep to watch others as they sleep? ” A hand moved to Eren's cheek, gently pushing him away from his face.

“ If it was just a nightmare, why do you stare at me like this ? ”

insiidious asked:

[ embrace ]  for your muse to pull my muse into a tight embrace (( from midoriya !!

soft interactions inbox memes

[ embrace ]  for your muse to pull my muse into a tight embrace

He had forgotten the warmth an embrace could hold. How it had the power to make all his worries and insecurities disappear, even for a faint moment. Tears of relief threatened to escape his eyes. This wouldn't be the first time, the green-haired was setting him free of his fears. His fear of being touched. Of being held with malice. The pain imprinted on his mind — the pain he had known as a child — replacing every last memory of warmth and comfort. Reading even the deepest and darkest parts of his soul. A charisma only he had. To his eyes, Shoto felt the most vulnerable in the world. The barriers he had built around his self, were all torn down because of him. And now, he was standing before him, his heart in plain sight.

“ Midoriya. ” No other word ever sounded more sweet to his ears. Never had he said something much more important in his life, more valuable, than his name. Yet, he couldn't make his voice sound more than a whisper. Hands wrapped around him, holding tight. In this moment of pure happiness, Shoto realized for the first time what it was like not to mind losing his life, if this would be his very last moment. Eyes were sealed closed, as the rest of the world lost all importance. He was holding the world in his arms.

“ Please, don't let go. ” Don't ever let go. Stay with me. This was Shoto, being the most honest in his life. Having known loneliness from a very young age, he was asking for someone to stay. Not to leave him alone. With Midoriya, he was set free from his past. From everything that used to hold him back. ‘ The ones close to him were meant to suffer. Just because mom couldn't run away from him, she had to endure all this pain. He had to do this alone. ’ Yet, Midoriya wasn't disgusted of him. He wasn't disgusted of what he was shaped into. He'd see something else, other than the monster Shoto would see in the mirror for years. Something worth understanding. Something worth loving.

“ I love you. ” Pouring all his heart into those simple words. It didn't matter if Midoriya could return them or not. His heart would still belong to him. For as long as he continued to breathe, his heart was his. And if Midoriya couldn't carry the weight of it, he'd rip it if he had to.

Stepping up behind the stuntman, Naruto peeks over his shoulder. 

“Kinda hard to treat a hand injury on yer own, huh?” Walking around him, Naruto doesn’t ask. He plops down in front of him and takes his supplies and sets them beside his own kit. 

"You are a hard man to find,” Naruto says to fill the silence, “after I saw ya got hurt during the fight scene I kind of kept an eye to see if you’d go to the medical team. Otherwise I was gunna call them, but then I got pulled away. I lost ya.” He takes the roll of bandages from the man’s other hand and begins to unroll it. Turning to the small med kit he brought, Naruto takes some scissors and cuts the gauze. 

“I know this is yer job, and you’ve probably dealt with worse, but the medical team is there for a reason. Use them.” Naruto meets his gaze, in hopes of emphasizing the seriousness to his words. He smiles a beat after and continues with wrapping Katsuki’s injured hand. 

TIRED PROMPTS  ( forever accepting ~ !! )

      Bruised and battered , the straw-doll sorceress can’t quite contradict the statement . Even her newly-bought tracksuit looked tattered ,  —  completing the effect & design to her weary look . She had pressed a cold can on her own cheek as she approached , the rest of the beverages in the bag she dropped on their feet . 

      It took a few seconds before she realized the endearment . First flumping beside her senior but quickly perking up wide-eyed once she did caught on .  

insiidious asked:

❦ Holding hands and nuzzling somewhere ambient and low-lit (( from eren uwu

Acts of Affection

❦  Holding hands and nuzzling somewhere ambient and low-lit.

How was it possible? For his eyes, to hold more stars than the night sky above their heads? For his eyes to reflect light, in the darkness to surround them? For the first time, Levi didn't want the sun to rise. He, who had been living underneath daylight only for the last few years. Who had been raised and lived in darkness for the biggest part of his life. For the first time, he didn't want to return to the battlefield. He, who had forgotten what was like not to be a soldier. Who had devoted his heart to the victory of mankind. Whose life had gained meaning, because of the sacrifices of their comrades. Of those lost, of the anguished fallen, who had trusted and passed their hopes on him.  

It seemed for once, Levi could remove his armor. For once, he, the soldier, could rest in the arms of a loved one. He could be human, instead of the HERO or the DEVIL everyone believed him to be. For how many years had he been questioning his own nature ? For how long had he been doubting, being alive ? Until he came into his life, to remind him there was blood running his veins, and a beating heart inside his chest, still capable of loving. Of loving him. Wasn't it ironic? In the arms of the man everyone called a monster, Levi had found his own humanity.  

Gently petting his head, his nose buried in the soft dark hair, taking in his scent, Levi lost any sense of time. As Eren lay on top of him, he'd feel his heart beat against his own. Closing his eyes, he'd start counting his breaths. As if seeking for proof they were alive. That this wasn't a dream. Not that Levi was capable of dreaming. But with him, because of him, everything could be possible.  

He'd feel him move. Changing position. His elbow found his stomach, pressing there with enough force to make him grunt. “ For fuck's sake. Do I look like a freaking mattress to you? ” After such a moment of peace, after allowing his mind to travel, landing back to reality had been too sudden. “ Have you finally decided? ” How he felt the most comfortable? His tone more gentle than before. His irritation wouldn't last longer than that. Not when Eren would look at him with those puppy eyes. He'd never imagine, a brat would do anything he wanted with him. “ I already told you, I can't fall asleep like this. ” It was a pointless try, attempting to make him sleep on a bed. “ Especially if you look at me like that. ” Leaning closer, he placed a soft kiss between his eyes, and pressed their foreheads together, letting out a sigh.  

Staring outside the window, he'd watch the sky change colors, signing the beginning of a new day. Birthdays were a nasty business to deal with. For many people, that day was worth more than the rest of the year. The expectations were too high, to the point any preparations were doomed to fail. Levi had never cared for such things, believing if his feelings for the people he kept close weren't acknowledged for something this childish, it wouldn't have been his fault. Yet, he never had doubted himself this much in his life. For HIS birthday, Levi found himself stressing over everything, even the most minor details. His present, the breakfast he'd prepare for him, his coffee. Everything to get that brat to smile.  

A cup of coffee, a bouquet of daffodils, and a wrapped box were placed on the table, as Levi patiently waited for him to rise. Inside the box, was an overcoat, one he had asked his tailor to make. He may be bad at choosing presents — especially when Eren would show the same excitement for pretty much everything — but this choice was the best he had at the time, and the one he wished was closer to the other's taste.