At the laundromat: “hey, couldn’t you just draw out your entire Villain!Dean AU using insects?”

I’ll definitely try to help the best I can? But, as a bit of a disclaimer, I have an extremely severe case of entomophobia, and a pretty horrific panic disorder, to top it all off. These ‘helpful tips’ are tailored entirely to my own experience, so keep that in mind. 

       1 – Blacklist absolutely everything you can imagine.

Personally, I’m triggered by visuals of bugs, and even the name of certain insects. I have a really visual imagination, and a tendency to obsess over those same visuals, so if I read a post that innocently mentions a (insert bug name here), there’s a good chance that I’m already going to be in a state of panic.

So, to avoid that, I obviously blacklist ‘bugs’ and ‘insects’. But, it doesn’t just end there – for some horrific reason, Tumblr has adopted insects into their ‘aesthetic’ culture, and people have started to tag bugs individually? So, spend a few hours blacklisting every kind of insect you can possibly imagine, because only a select few people just tag ‘tw bugs’, these days; I’ve actually seen people use the scientific name of certain bugs in their tags? Which is fucking obnoxious, but if the blog is worth it, you can always spend another few hours on triggering Wikipedia articles trying to figure out scientific names.

And, of course, people will always forget about your trigger, and people will always make excuses because ‘butterflies are pretty, they’re not even a real insect!’ – but, evidently, you can always unfollow anyone who refuses to tag your trigger appropriately. Truly, if they’re actively disregarding your health, they’re not worth your attention, anyways.

      2 – Bugspray is probably already your best friend.

But, be careful. I’ve had entomophobia for my entire life, and I’ve pretty badly fucked up my lungs because of how much bugspray I’ve inhaled. So, I’d suggest investing in herbal-based bugsprays? They cost a fuckload, don’t work as well, and smell like ass, but if you’re going to be using it nightly (or you have pets that sleep with you – dear lord, please keep your animals in mind while using bugsprays) it’s better than nothing.

However, if you’re poor and past the point of caring about your health, I use Raid? They make a variety of sprays for different bugs (if you have a phobia for one specific kind) and for indoor use – I have a total of 4 bottles in my room at all times; 2 next to my bed in case I need to actually kill something, and 2 for spraying the cracks and crevices of my room every other night. Buy new ones when you think you’re getting low, and don’t wait until it’s nearly empty. The last quarter of your bottle is probably a lot less than you think. 

     3 – How to achieve a perfectly bug-less room.

So, these are just a few particular habits I’ve adopted over the years:

   ●   Minimalism isn’t just an aesthetic choice. The less clutter you have, the better. Invest in furniture with a flat bottom, and always have your bookshelves off of the floor. While I personally always make sure my bed is off of the floor (less easy to crawl up, that is) I always buy the ‘extra tall’ box-springs, so more light gets under the bed.  

  ●   I sleep with all the lights on? Not only do most bugs tend to avoid lighted areas, but I can’t deal with not being able to easily sweep over my room – I’d suggest buying low-wattage bulbs, and sticking with LED. Your electric bill, however, is completely fucked.

 ●   Stick a towel under your door. If your room is clean, and you have a window that is properly sealed, those little shits are probably wandering in from somewhere else. My winning combination is a door sweep doubled with a folded towel. Change the towel as regularly as you can, and it’s going to look really ugly – but, alas, that’s life.

 ●   Spray after it rains. Always. I live in Florida, so it’s especially bad, because we get rain all summer. But, that’s when you’re going to see them the most; spray along the cracks of your wall, and spray the ledge of any window you have leading outside.

●   Those ‘bug alarms’ that you plug into your wall, and are supposed to ward off bugs by using a high-pitch sound? They don’t fucking work. Don’t waste your money.

     4 – Are you an adult who’s looking to move? Great.

Portland (and Oregon, in general) is reportedly the ‘least bug-y’ place in the United States. Florida, evidently, is the worst. My life is a giant and unwavering joke.

Also, bathrooms that attach themselves to bedrooms are just asking for trouble? Bugs are attracted to wetness, and bathrooms (and kitchens!) tend to be the most problematic areas of an average household. But, hey – apartments without a ‘en suite bathroom’ are usually much cheaper, so we’re making up for the electric bill? Maybe.

     5 – If someone has a problem, get rid of them.

You have no idea how much shit I get because of my entomophobia. Or, maybe you do – I don’t know why, but people can’t fathom that a fear of bugs can go past ‘being a girl’ or ‘everyone is a little scared of bugs – they can’t hurt you!’; which, evidently, is beyond insulting, and something I don’t think anyone should have to deal with.

If someone is being a dick to you about something you can’t help, remove them from your life. It’s a bit extreme, but I’ve come to adopt the mentality that if a ‘friend’ can’t learn to simply watch what they say, or learn how to appropriately use a trigger warning, then they don’t deserve to be my friend, do they? By opening these spots in your life, new and better people will fill them; there’s no reason for you to sacrifice your comfort for anyone else. No one is worth that – no one is worth being triggered, or even being remotely uncomfortable for. You deserve better than that, and the faster you get those people out of your life, the easier your phobia will be to live with. 

Find friends who will stay up all night with you on Skype because you’re too paranoid to sleep, and find friends who’ll show up to your house at obscene hours of the morning to make sure that you just saw a dust-bunny; don’t settle for anything less. 

i am an actual bee princess, look at me saving lives

more bee heroics under the cut