#inroversion

i've been thinking a lot about introversion vs. extroversion in the past year. last week i saw a cautionary tale at the Flea theater with my friend Joe. go see it. there's this part where this guy presents a speech for graduation.

considering the amount of gawd-awful speeches i've heard in the past few months, it makes sense that this moment would become in retrospect the pinnacle moment of the play for me.

there's almost nothing more satisfying - no, terrifying - terrifyingly satisfying - no just terrifying - and a little bit satisfying - than watching someone have a melt down on stage and feeling as an audience member the truth of it.

choking on my own confusion about what is good and what is successful, i use words like introversion and extroversion to provide some sort of solace. if i can name my problem, i can fix it. but the conflict between self-worth and social/career satisfaction is not a binary issue. it's much more complicated than that. and this conflict actually does have the power sometimes to freeze my momentum. and sometimes i feel like i'm sinking. even though i'm holding onto these words like they are life rafts. and then other times i remember: it is possible to be both quiet and bold.