she’s so much weirder in her own POV than in everyone else’s. Like, she eats raw meat and goes “False prophet, eat the flesh!” Like that’s NORMAL??

“They’re normal cows I watched them breed” girl. Girl. I say this with love, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??

But I’m so sure that I won’t quit, I can not quit the course. I’m doing this for my parents more than for myself. It hurts me to be this unhappy with the course, after nearly begging for my parents to enter, knowing that we would struggle to pay it. For the money that was already spent, for my parents, I won’t quit my course and will get my degree.

But then one day, I was talking with my mom about how soon the course will be over, since I only have three semesters left and she told me to not stop there, that I should study other things and not stop with only that degree. I knew that one degree wouldn’t mean anything for the industry, I know that I have to do something else, specialize more in order to grow as a professional and that got me thinking about what I want to do in life, where my career lies... 

I know that I want to be able to make a living off of my art, my stories, bring life to my worlds, my characters and work as a concept artist. For now, I feel like I don’t think I can do it yet, but I also feel like this design course has been holding me back, making me feel like I have no time to learn all that I need to learn in order to grow, because as a self taught, I don’t know half of the things I should... I have no fundamentals, I didn’t learn fundamentals and that makes me feel incomplete. 

So I’ve decided that after this course is over, I will go after the fundamentals, I will apply to art school, I will learn all there is for me to help me grow. There are so many buts in this and here’s another one, because I fear of what my parents will think of me. I fear they will think their money was wasted, which is not the case, because I’ve learned a lot already, it’s just not something I want to work with... It scares me that they’ll be disappointed at me if I persue concept art, character design, storyboarding, animation... But I also feel like they wouldn’t? This confusion makes me anxious, would they be proud of me to persue my career? Or would they be more proud of me if I persue the career my design major allowed me to persue? Sitting in an office, working till late at night close to a slave? 

Still, even if part of me says that they will be disappointed at me, like they’ve always been because I was the worst with academics, part of me comforts me saying they will be accepting, because they know their child, they know that their child is an artist, they know that their child has potential and that working in a studio, bringing life to worlds and characters is what they were born to do. I feel like they know that’s my passion, that it is my dream job... but I also feel like they know, but wish it wasn’t like that.

also, the thing about Pyro just. Getting up and leaving. Like…that’s who he is. That’s what he does. Pyro gets up and leaves, doesn’t worry about others. That’s what he does, that’s how Scott sees him. And it’s always Scott that’s going “where’s Pyro”, always Scott that knows he’s gone before anyone else, always Scott that’s chasing after him, trying to figure out where he went, why he went, why he won’t just come back home.

I’m perfectly normal about these two. But seriously, it’s not even romance at this point. It’s something beyond that.

(due to current happenings, please read this as platonic-centric ramblings!!)

First off, HOLY CRAP SCOTT AND AJ ARE GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME. What do you mean, what do you MEAN they only say his name once, like it’s a threat. What do you MEAN! And then when he killed her, and the whole “You gonna put me in the ground?” “No, but if you think I’ve been cold I’ll show you cold” like HJBTHWKDN! He says it so fast, it’s not a threat it’s a warning.

BUT THEN HE FOLLOWS HER HE FREAKING FOLLOWS HER AFTER HE KNOCKS HER KFF THAT LEDGE HE FOLLOWS HER SWINGING THE SWORD HE WAS GOING TO KEEP ATTACKING OH MY GODDDDD!!!!

I’m losing my mind over these two. Do they have a duo name? Cause ColdCrow popped into my head but idk.

Okay, hear me out:

Idol/Singer AU of Vampires SMP. No wait, just think about it!

the Militia is a well-known band, pretty popular, kinda niche but big enough to go on tour every once and a while.

and then. And then! This new band pops up out of NOWHERE and just starts, like, taking fans. Like this new band has a concert the same night as a militia concert and there’s SIGNIFICANTLY LESS PEOPLE at the Militia one. This new band’s name? The Coven.

The Coven is a masked band, one of those ones where you don’t know who the members are. Four members, just like the Militia, though the militia is very open about who they are.

Apo and Pyro are roommates, have been since college. Apo’s part of the militia, doesn’t know Pyro is part of the Coven. He’s trying to hide it bc he doesn’t want to lose her but also he can’t just leave his band. The two bands end up being rivals, they keep ending up at the same venues, people mess up time slots and schedule them to perform at the same time accidentally, etc etc.

I dunno. Should I do something with this?

Who else would be on each band?? And if any of the og vamp characters weren't on either band, would you try to find other ways to integrate them into the story? Would Cherri be here?

Sorry if any of these arent legible 😅

I'm kinda tired lol

Alright, I’ve done some thinking on it, so here’s what everyone does!

Scott, Shelby, Owen and Pyro are all part of The Coven. Abolish is stage manager as well as Scott’s bodyguard, and Morcant is head of security. Czeslaw runs lights, Tango (or Elle?) runs sound, Cleo is in charge of costumes.

Ren, Martyn, Sausage and Apo are members of The Militia. Pearl is head of security, Legundo is stage manager (but has some first aid training). Avid and Drift run sounds and lights respectively. Cherri does costumes.

(Thanks be to @valleyshrike) Louis was married to Owen and also a pretty up-and-coming singer, but some stalker incident ended with the venue up in flames and Louis didn’t survive. He died 2 years ago.