Black stone head of Vaikuntha Viṣṇu

Screen-cap of this:

Important: all things I say are to be taken as jokes as I do not intend to insult or demean any of them (except the Mughals and Raghoji I Bhonsle ofcourse) and it's just for fun and doing haha hehe. This is just my crusty dusty way to show my admiration for the rulers as an history fan

— Chandragupta was a very lazy kid with potential and Chanakya basically Amir Khan from Dangal-ed his way to make Chandragupta work hard and become the king.

“Guruji sehat keliye aap to hanikarak ho” — Chandragupta circa 300 BCE probably

— Samudragupta was a mountain lover and lowkey also didn't liked beaches. Harisena called it a poetic irony.

— Porus was named Purandhara. (I like Indra he cool so I'll insert his names wherever I want idgaf)

— Every Haryanka dynasty king ever “hahaha mera beta alag hai wo mereko nahi marega”

Fast forward to beta in future “yeah so urmm... Surprise daddy...?”

— Harshavardhan got teased by his friends or whatever because his name literally can mean orgasm.

Edit: he wrote Ratnavali as revenge for that as I discussed with @dharagalaxias (we just hate Ratnavali's plot that's it.)

— Ashoka's absolute availability approach policy started to become an issue to him when he couldn't even go to bathroom to shit in peace without the pativedakas calling on him “samrath! samrath!”

— Shashanka always fell asleep in the courtroom during the afternoon and had to be carried to his chambers by 4-5 court officials. (I just like to imagine he would be an afternoon napper like all other Bengalis)

— Shah Jahan is a bottom.

— Chandragupta II Vikramaditya was considered a Dhrishti-khand by all. *dhrishti...nayan...eye... khand...candy... eye candy...* (Gali maat dena yaar it's a joke obviously ╥⁠﹏⁠╥)

— Wajid Ali Shah would dramatically press his breast – the one he kept out of his clothes to show off – and gasp whenever something surprised him.

— Prabhavati Gupta was the og “Queen Never Cry” baby.

— Rajendra Chola thought Civakam Cintamani was an illogical story and Cintamani was an annoying character.

— Akbar once got fooled by Salim where Salim wrote random words that made no sense and showed it to Akbar and told him it was a poem he had composed for Akbar. It was done after Birbal's suggestion.

— Gautamiputra Satakarni had that condition where he had constant dark circles under his eyes. His court officials were concerned but he was just confused.

— Siraj-Ud-Daula was a smiley and glad child as a kid and always kept smiling. Even as an adult he always had a :) on his face.

— Raghoji I Bhosle had stomach issues and recurring diarrhea. (This hc comes from the bottom of my heart which is filled with hate for this man)

Edit: the hate got to him and caused diarrhea

— Raibaghini Bhavasankari had immaculate humour and unmatched sass that made everyone be intimidated by her. (Gigachad meme guy pls)

— Lalitaditya Muktapida had great shiny hair.

Nothing quite brings me childlike glee like taking a fellow bookworm to the only fiction-focused bookstore in my city. And the book hauls that result from it.

My friend picked an Asimov for me, while I picked them Maus. And of course I had to pick Poe.