Black stone head of Vaikuntha Viṣṇu

Screen-cap of this:

Important: all things I say are to be taken as jokes as I do not intend to insult or demean any of them (except the Mughals and Raghoji I Bhonsle ofcourse) and it's just for fun and doing haha hehe. This is just my crusty dusty way to show my admiration for the rulers as an history fan

— Chandragupta was a very lazy kid with potential and Chanakya basically Amir Khan from Dangal-ed his way to make Chandragupta work hard and become the king.

“Guruji sehat keliye aap to hanikarak ho” — Chandragupta circa 300 BCE probably

— Samudragupta was a mountain lover and lowkey also didn't liked beaches. Harisena called it a poetic irony.

— Porus was named Purandhara. (I like Indra he cool so I'll insert his names wherever I want idgaf)

— Every Haryanka dynasty king ever “hahaha mera beta alag hai wo mereko nahi marega”

Fast forward to beta in future “yeah so urmm... Surprise daddy...?”

— Harshavardhan got teased by his friends or whatever because his name literally can mean orgasm.

Edit: he wrote Ratnavali as revenge for that as I discussed with @dharagalaxias (we just hate Ratnavali's plot that's it.)

— Ashoka's absolute availability approach policy started to become an issue to him when he couldn't even go to bathroom to shit in peace without the pativedakas calling on him “samrath! samrath!”

— Shashanka always fell asleep in the courtroom during the afternoon and had to be carried to his chambers by 4-5 court officials. (I just like to imagine he would be an afternoon napper like all other Bengalis)

— Shah Jahan is a bottom.

— Chandragupta II Vikramaditya was considered a Dhrishti-khand by all. *dhrishti...nayan...eye... khand...candy... eye candy...* (Gali maat dena yaar it's a joke obviously ╥⁠﹏⁠╥)

— Wajid Ali Shah would dramatically press his breast – the one he kept out of his clothes to show off – and gasp whenever something surprised him.

— Prabhavati Gupta was the og “Queen Never Cry” baby.

— Rajendra Chola thought Civakam Cintamani was an illogical story and Cintamani was an annoying character.

— Akbar once got fooled by Salim where Salim wrote random words that made no sense and showed it to Akbar and told him it was a poem he had composed for Akbar. It was done after Birbal's suggestion.

— Gautamiputra Satakarni had that condition where he had constant dark circles under his eyes. His court officials were concerned but he was just confused.

— Siraj-Ud-Daula was a smiley and glad child as a kid and always kept smiling. Even as an adult he always had a :) on his face.

— Raghoji I Bhosle had stomach issues and recurring diarrhea. (This hc comes from the bottom of my heart which is filled with hate for this man)

Edit: the hate got to him and caused diarrhea

— Raibaghini Bhavasankari had immaculate humour and unmatched sass that made everyone be intimidated by her. (Gigachad meme guy pls)

— Lalitaditya Muktapida had great shiny hair.

so I was travelling by road with my family today and we stopped at this really beautiful ganesh temple right? my mom was wearing a poncho and I had a shawl draped like a dupatta-adj situation. we went in, offered our prayers, everything peaceful until midway through the pandit asks my mom whether what she's wearing is a dupatta or not and she's like not really cause she thought it was y'know idle curiosity.

then he turns to me and asks why — if I do have a dupatta — I'm not covering my head lmao.

now I didn't argue, okay. it's a temple and not a debate hall and I wasn't about to start a theology seminar at a temple with the pandit ji. but the whole exchange kinda ?? stirred something I've known for a while and keep watching people conveniently forget.

head covering — ghunghat, veiling, pallu etc — wasn't originally a hindu religious mandate. it enters north indian practice around like late medieval period shaped by arab, persian, and mughal customs. and you can see this pretty clearly when you look at depiction of earlier hindu women who never veiled unless it was for social ceremony where veiling was more of a social status thing than a religious mandate, and even then it wasn't all that common to begin with. you can even see it clearly when you look down south: the absence of those influences means hindu women there still don't cover their heads in temples or rituals. in fact in many traditions its not even associated with humility or modesty but with mourning!

mind I have no issues with veiling, I like it sometimes even, I veil my head whenever I visit a dargah or mazaar, I veil even when I visit a funeral. but there's a deeper ritual logic for hindus in not veiling during religious ceremonies and temples that we've quietly discarded. traditionally, devotees of both genders entered temples bareheaded because the act of bowing, touching one's lalaat to the divine's feet was considered profoundly auspicious, direct contact from the crown to the creator's feet was symbolic and intimate, a conduit for blessing if you will.

and the issue is? that somehow, that logic survives just fine for men. men walk into temples bareheaded every single day and no one bats an eye, just like how the pandit didn't really care for my brother who also had a bare head. the adaptation, policing and burden of carrying the weight of "modesty/humility" and honour got imposed almost exclusively on women. even if its at the cost of discarding the true symbolic meaning of the act of bowing itself.

what's more ironic I think is that the same people who complain about "losing touch with our roots" will enforce these practices that weren't even ours to begin with without questioning even once where they came from, who they were meant to regulate, or what meanings were sacrificed along the way. modesty becomes a cultural tax levied on women, even when it contradicts older ritual symbolism and spiritual intent.

now personally? I don't really believe in divine blessing being gated behind physical contact or perfect ritual compliance, the divine isn't an audit worker with a checklist. but y'know, food for thought.