Kidnapper: We have your child
Freddie: I don’t have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their cheese sandwich?
Freddie: Oh god, you have John
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Kidnapper: We have your child
Freddie: I don’t have a child?
Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their cheese sandwich?
Freddie: Oh god, you have John

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Freddie, Roger & John: *screaming*
Brian: *runs into the room* What's wrong, John?!
Roger: Wait, why are you asking John that when Freddie and I are also here?
Brian: Because John wouldn't scream unless it's an emergency. You two scream whenever you have the chance.
Roger: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!
Brian: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.
Roger: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?
Brian: Somehow that's worse.
[At the New Years Party]
Freddie: I would like to offer a toast.
Freddie: I cannot believe we have already gone through another twelve months of absolute fuckery.
Freddie: Cheers boys.
John: what's a thot?
Roger: it's a thoughtful person
*later at the dinner table*
Brian: here's the salt, John
John: thanks Bri, you're such a thot!
Brian: *spits out water*

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Reporter: And you all are?
Roger: Tired
John: Hungry
Brian: Anxious
Freddie: We’re QUEEN, darling!
Roger: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?
Freddie: *chugs entire bottle*
Freddie: It’s perfume.
Brian: Yesterday, I overheard Roger saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Freddie replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.