May 23, 2019
Kyle, holding a cauliflower: What is this?
John: A cauliflower?
Kyle, to Hal: Now tell him what you think this is.
Hal, crossing his arms: Ghost broccoli.
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Kyle, holding a cauliflower: What is this?
John: A cauliflower?
Kyle, to Hal: Now tell him what you think this is.
Hal, crossing his arms: Ghost broccoli.
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I was getting tired of listening to Kyle and Guy talk about their relationship. But then I remembered that alcohol existed. Thank you, alcohol. — John Stewart
Kyle: Why are people so obsessed with top or bottom? I'm just excited to have a bunk bed!
Hal: I'm gonna tell him.
John: Don't you dare.
Kyle: Does anyone else get happy when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?
Hal: Can't relate.
Guy: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?
Guy: Where’s my fucking ring?
John: Guy, there are kids around. Could you say it nicer?
Guy: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my fucking ring?
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hal: [mumbling in Latin]
guy: For the last time, I’m not a demon and you can’t exorcise me.
hal: [crossing off #5 on a list] Worth a shot.
Jessica: A waiter could literally murder me and I’d still tip 20%.
Guy: I would tip more if I was murdered. That’s great customer service.
Guy: I’m too tired to slap you.
Guy: bash your face against my palm, would ya, Hal?