#incorrect knb

Kise: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Kuroko: we're the Teiko basketball team. Of course we shoot laser beams out of our hands when we're playing basketball. You thought that was special effects?

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Kise: we're the Teiko basketball team. Of course everyone has a gimmick like we're members of an early 2000s boy band. I'm the good-looking one, by the way.

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Midorima: we're the Teiko basketball team, of course everyone has insufferable personalities that make us incapable of befriending anyone who's not part of the club.

Aomine in the distance: speak for yourself, loser!

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Aomine: we're the Teiko basketball team, of course we have inhuman strength and abilities that surpass NBA players despite all of us being between the ages of 13 and 16.

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Momoi: we're the Teiko basketball team, of course we have data on every basketball player in the district down to their blood type and social security number. Doesn't everybody?

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Murasakibara: we're the Teiko basketball team, of course we... what was my line?

Kise, out of frame: Not again!

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Akashi: we're the Teiko basketball team, of course we have cheesy nicknames for every one of our abilities. We're middle schoolers, what did you expect?

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Haizaki: this trend is stupid, I'm not doing it.

Nijimura, appearing behind Haizaki and gripping his shoulder: wanna repeat what you just said???

~~~

Nijimura, holding a beat-up and barely conscious Haizaki: we're the Teiko basketball team, of course as a senior I have to play the role of a single parent and make sure these brats behave.

Akashi, out of frame: Nijimura-san, I think Haizaki stopped breathing.

Takao: Grass? Yes!

Himuro: Moss? Yes.

Takao: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Himuro: Shoelaces? Strange but true.

Takao: Worms? Sometimes!

Himuro: Rocks? Usually not.

Takao: Twigs? Usually!

Himuro: Momoi's cooking? Inconclusive.

Kagami: How did you… test this?

Takao: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Kise: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

credit

bonus:

Aomine: Yes.

Kagami: Shut up, don't try to deny- What?

Aomine: Did you really expect me to say no?

Kagami: I mean I didn't think you would agree with me?

Aomine: Fuck, you're right. Okay, ask again.

Kagami: Ready?

Aomine: Yes, go on.

Kagami: ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!

Aomine: NO, YOU ARE THE IDIOT!

Hyuga: What the fuck are they doing?

haizaki, after losing to kise: fuck kise!

GoM + kagami, almost reduced to tears: man, i'm trying!